Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Hey baby, let's get coffee and vegan donuts.
My beard is the same length as Abraham Lincoln's was on his 7th birthday.
Getting lucky usually means finding my car in the parking lot, but tonight you can change that.
You've got spunk. I like that in a man.
Hey girl, is that an original Yo La Tengo 7†in your pants? Because your butt is extremely valuable.
Want to come over and listen to NPR.
I loved you before it was cool.
Hey baby, I've got you two tickets to the gun show...Let's use them to go and protest gun-related violence!
I'm undressing you with my 3rd eye.
Is that a Depends under your pants or are you just glad to see me?
My carbon footprint is the only part of me that's small.
Hey, you still breathing?
My teeth and I no longer sleep together, but you and I definitely should.
Turn on, tune in, drop your pants.
I'd share my bar of soap with you.
If I told you you had a beautiful Prius, would you hold it against me?
How about I take you home and show you my medicine cabinet!
Guy: Hey, do you have any pretentious avant-garde photographer in you? Girl: Um, no. Guy: Want some?
I'm gonna disrupt the shit out of your technology.
No, I didn't have a stroke; I was actually winking at you.
