Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Is your mom a witch? Because your presence is a curse upon my soul.
The view of the full moon in my vineyard is magnificent ... would you like to come over with a few friends and see it?
Are you ready to toast to something unforgettable—like you and me?
I make a great steak dinner and have the perfect bottle set aside for just this occasion.
Are you a disease? Because being near you feels like a slow and painful death.
I promise, I'll last longer than a bottle of the finest Bordeaux.
Do you have a mirror? Because I need something to shatter to escape the horror of your presence.
Is your dad a monster? Because you're a terrifying creature that haunts my nightmares.
Are you a black hole? Because you suck the joy and happiness out of every room you enter.
You must be a doctor, because you've just healed my broken heart.
Are you a fisherman because I think you're a reel catch.
If tonight's about leaving the past behind, let's start the new year together.
If cocktails were named after people, yours would be called "Irresistible."
You're like a perfect countdown—exciting, thrilling, and leading to something incredible.
Wow! I thought my wine had nice legs!
You must be pipe tape, because you're keeping me together.
You had me at merlot.
I think I must have drank too much wine, because when you walked in, the room started to spin.
