Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Do you understand the binary language of moisture vaporators? Because I'd like to program your binary loadlifter.
Can I see your garbage mashers on the detention level?
I see you got a lot of room in your backseat.
Don't feel bad about going 5 under the speed limit, I wouldn't want to damage you going too fast either.
Your smile is like a supernova...brighter than anything in the universe.
Pardon me, but my corset has come unlaced. Could you tighten it for me?
Are you depressed yet? Cause you've been stuck in my head all day.
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
I got the biggest exhaust pipe you'll ever see!
Would you allow me to experience what's beyond your Event Horizon?
You must be in trauma care, because I'm falling hard for you.
Are you on call? Because you've been on my mind all day.
I want a hot steamy shower! Do you think if I get the water hot enough it will burn my skin off?
Hi. I'm doing my prayer list. Please put your name and number down
Do you like heavy metal? Because I can teach you how to scream.
Wanna breach my wrap core?
Is that a cell phone in yo pocket? Cuz dat ass is callin' me!
Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes. [If this doesn't work, hit her in the head with a brick]
Your eyes look Spocktacular!
I'm really good at hand-jams.
You don't need a mind meld to know what I am thinking.
Are you my lines? because i'll never forget you.
I am having trouble getting my photon torpedo out of it's breech, can you assist?
Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on stunning.
I can't help it — my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts!
Is that a phaser in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I heard milk does the body good, but DAMN! Blood does too?
I just built a climbing gym in my pants and would like to offer your a chance at a first ascent.
Unlike everyone else in Les Miserables, my love for you will never die.
Hey baby you shine so bright I want to be your co-orbital companion!
Wanna get tied up and high?
I'd love to say a prayer before a meal with you sometime. How's Saturday at 7?
I usually use protection, but I'll make an exception.
Hey girl, wanna belay me?
You must be my capital gain, because meeting you has been a major profit.
You not only have a pretty face, I bet you're beautiful on the inside too!
Are you a flip turn? Because I'm head over heels for you.
You and me go together like Lightning Rod and downtime.
Yo name must be Maxwell House cause baby yo ass is good til the last drop.
Would you like to be the Zelie to my Louis and reach sainthood together?
Are you that line I screwed up? Because I can't stop thinking about you.
Are you an officer? Coz I just love to be in your company.
Can our first date be in the cemetery? I'm dying to meet you there.
You have the most terrific bone structure. Your skull is going to be the prize of my collection.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I saw you with him, I'm happy for you.
You make my pants go to Red Alert.
Do you believe in helping the homeless? Take me home with you.
Hey baby, are you a fish? Because you like FINtastic.
Hey, it's about time you docked that shuttle!
Klingon: Daqtagh HInob! tIqwIj qa'angnIS! (Hand me a d'k tahg! I must show you my heart!)
I love long walks on the beach, gives me just enough time to dump your body.
Anomalous heat reading off the starboard bow, setting an intercept course!
Is stealing my heart breaking the 8th Commandment?
Aren't you the model from my figure drawing class?
Are you a lap counter? Because without you, I'm lost.
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart.
Klingon: pu'jIn vIpoQ. mInDu'lIj vIbejtaHvIS DaqwIj vIlIj! (I need a map. I got lost while I was watching your eyes!)
Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
Is that a double ended vibrator in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
The Bible says to bring all our requests to God. I've prayed, and here you are.
Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
Your sexy figure sure would make an awesome sculpture.
We're having a penis-measuring contest over there. Do you have a yardstick that we could borrow?
You've turned my New Year's Eve into something I'll never forget.
Hey girl you lookin' like a tall glass of water and I'm tellin ya I'm thirsty!
Who needs resolutions when I've already resolved to make you smile tonight?
My roses aren't the only things with long stems.
You seem depressed. Let's bang the depression out of each other!
Are you a psychologist? Cause you cure my depression.
You've unjustly enriched me, let me give you some restitution.
I've heard alot about you, now let's hear your side of the story.
Is there a wormhole that will always take me directly to where you are?
Your pants are the final frontier
I want to ride you like a roller coaster. Just try not to puke.
Klingon: may'luchwIjmo' Qobbe' tajmey 'ach tIqwIj luDuQ mInDu'lIj! (My armor shields me from knives, but your eyes pierce my heart!)
I want a minimum of 6 children and they will all be named after saints.
Hey baby, I'd love to pollinate you!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a knife. Get in the car.
I'd love to go to Uranus! Because it has a toxic atmosphere and would instantly kill me.
If I said Marco, would you say Polo?
I find your lack of nudity disturbing
If there's nothing to say, I'm sure you'll say it.
I just want you to know that, despite having no legal obligation to, I will come to your aid if you require it.
Are you a single rider, because I'm a single rider too?
There should be government regulations against all your goodness.
I don't normally sow wild oats, but for you I'd make an exception.
Are you a scrub cap? Because you're on my mind all the time.
Let's put the 'fun' in funeral!
You must be a time traveler from ancient Egypt, because you're definitely a pyramid with a food addiction.
You smell like silage and sunshine.
Are you a medium? Because I'd like to paint you on carpet.
I believe that it's in our best interest to comply with section 69 of the act.
The shade of black you are wearing really brings out your beauty.
I wanna put your pork on my fork.
You must be a catheter, because you're draining all my worries away.
Are you a statute of limitations? Because I've got no time left to waste—I want you now.
You've stolen my heart away. Luckily, I've got another three or four in the freezer.
Do you want to check out my home quarter?
You must be my coronary artery because you're wrapped around my heart.
I'll show you my docking bay if you show me your ship.
