Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Your feet made me lower my gaze.
Here's my number. Just in case you ever need a grappling partner without a shirt... or pants.
Are you mic tape? Cause I want you leaving scars all over my body.
You must be a Bible verse, because I can't stop memorizing you.
I think our timing is off.
I don't have a very long hose, but I've got one hell of of a pumper!
You shine with so much Nur that you could light up a room... in my heart.
I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score.
I like breakfast in bed, so why don't you just come sit on my face?
Can I stuff your taco with my beef?
If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you.
If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine
If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Don't get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance?
I'd say that you're funny but looks aren't everything.
You do realize that people just tolerate you?
For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.
Your family tree must be a circle.
Excuse me, could you help me out? I have an incredible itch that's buried deep in my butt.
Wanna put your anchor in my harbor?
You know, women firefighters are professional hose handlers.
I may not play the guitar but I can pluck your g-string.
One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday, eight hours.
How do you catch an Ether Bunny? -- With an Ethernet.
I don't believe in love at first sight, but I'm willing to make an exception in your case
You work out, I work out, I think our relationship would work out.
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.
I'd hit you but we don't hit little girls around here.
I must say you're more beautiful than the beautiful game.
Let's get hoth and heavy.
Wanna come over and calculate some fip?
One game of penochle and your desitin ass is mine.
You know what they say about a man with a large belt buckle...
No matter how many 3-pointers I've made, it means nothing if I can't hoop your heart.
I'll take a half dozen organic eggs and one of you.
Why do i need a girlfriend when i can have a boyfriend, keito-kun?
Seeing you makes my face turn red with passion. No, I haven't been drinking!
We don't need to get in an accident to exchange information.
I have celeriac seedlings in the back of my car.
Are you a pizza box? because I can't wait to get your top off.
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
I'll bring you a sammich while you're working hard.
I would love to grease your fittings.
I want to pick you up from free agency.
I'm dead inside, but you make something in my pants alive.
I have a good feeling about you.
Scoring with you would be like making a 84 yard touchdown off a pass interception.
Hey babe - are you the ex leader of the Australian Democrats because I'd love to Despoja.
You make my heart melt faster than the glaciers of the North! Seriously we should probably do something about that though.
If you were a perfect set, I'd hit you.
I got a private conference in my hotel room at the winter meetings, come on up if you wanna look at my trade package.
Why did the developer go broke? -- Because he used up all his cache.
Looks like you're the big ticket free agent, and I got a lotta money to spend.
Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
If someone throws sharks in the water, I'll save you first.
