Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Wanna go for a test drive?
If you were a Dodge, I'd RAM you.
Excuse me, there's something wrong with the number on this check. It isn't yours.
Will you be the duck sauce to my egg roll?
Are you a cubed dice, roughly a quarter of an inch on every side? Because you're fine.
Are you up for some intercourse from which spurious issue may arise?
I've been applying strict scrutiny to your body, and it's compelling.
Excuse me, are you a pizza? Because you're hot.
Like Little Caesar's pizza I'm always hot and ready.
I hear you're of good fame and character. Just disclothes, and I'll admit you.
When you walk into the room, I know the cavalry has come.
Your breath reminds me of the smell of gunpowder that flows over the quiet battlefield.
Java number I can call you up at?
Can I be the cream to your coffee?
Let's make like this coffee and get steamy!
I love the way you espresso yourself.
This coffee is steaming up my glasses or is that just you?
Hold the sugar please, you're sweet enough for the both of us.
I'm looking for a place to land my stealth bomber.
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
You got me in a heel hook and I fell for you...
Your dojo or mine?
I'll show you some takedown my number techniques.
Are you a tip? Cause you've got me on my toes!
Are you a hitter? Because you're killing it.
Volleyball, it means big booty and thunder thighs get used to it.
Does your stomach need a tissue? Cause you've got sick abs.
Your pace or mine?
Girl get rid of those Dunlop balls, you deserve better.
So, what's your favorite stroke?
Are you a Titans fan? Because you are the only Ten I see.
The waves may be taking me away but id rather take you out.
Wanna play some horizontal beach volleyball?
Hey girl, stay safe tonight, sleep with a fireman.
I want to pound you like I pound the asphalt. For hours until it hurts.
Fewer teeth just means more room for tongue.
Do you love basketball? You only need a basket cause I already got balls.
If you were a basketball, I'd never pass because I want to keep you all to myself.
That's quite a tight end you've got there sweetheart.
Are you Ashley Young? Because you have me diving into your heart.
Is your name Zidane? because your head is amazing.
Are you Casillas? Because you look like a keeper.
If I were Peter Pan, dancing with you would be my happy thought.
Hello, I am a thief and I am here to steal this dance.
Us baseball players know our way around the bases.
What's the "win probability" of me taking you home tonight, baby?
Can I show you my spitball?
The back seat of my new Dodge lays right down.
I would love to see the way you farm.
You look like you can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose.
How many horses can you fit in your barn?
Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to see you on a T?
Do you think we can make our relationship more serious and disable network sharing?
Girl are you a Facebook status? Cause I like you.
How would you like to make a 301 redirect to my heart?
If you were a YouTube channel, I'd subscribe.
Just like your paid search campaign, you've made quite the impression on me.
I had me at Amazon Prime.
What do you say we bounce like a bad email?
My ears are not the only things that are long!
Where there is a pulse there is a chance.
They don't call me Bones because I'm a doctor.
My first job was peddling designer clothing. I was a Dior to Dior salesman.
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
My neighbor's sprinkler is a constant irrigation to me.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
I don't mind kids playing hopscotch in most places, but my driveway is where I draw the line.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
If I had a dime for every book I've ever read, I'd say: Wow, that's coincidental.
Tire stores are highway rubbery.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Easy Bottom?
You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!
Hey baby, Can you please hold my rod?
Would you like to see my whopper?
Are you from Russia? Cause you're russian my heart rate!
Come again when you can't stay quite so long.
Do you know what the difference is between you and my car? I'd love to wreck you.
I feel like I'm in the Arctic, because when I'm with you it's like the sun never sets.
My name's Pittsburgh, but you can just call me Mr. Steeler ya girl.
I think I'm gay, want to prove me wrong?
I seem to have sand in my bathing suit, wanna help me get it out?
You're Hotter Than the 2022 World Cup in Qatar
Hey babe, can I colonize your land and exploit you for your natural resources.
I might be ugly but I'll treat you right!
You know, I've never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
You and me, one-on-one, in my bed.
Hey there, you like Glazed or creme filled?
Where's your paper bag? [huh] Your paper bag to put over your head.
You dropped something! [What?] Your smile.
Just like at Burger King, You're the boss.
You would be perfect for this movie I'm shooting its called Dirty Sanchez
This sunburn is hot, but baby... you're hotter.
Is that a stalagmite feature or are you just happy to see me?
Do you believe in love at first set or should I curl this 15 more times?
Are you an electrician because I felt a spark through my body when you entered the room.
