Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
You are so old, you fart dust.
Let me put a toy in your happy meal.
Do you work at Subway? Because you're giving me a footlong.
Girl, you can be my Taco Belle.
Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat. uvu
Baby I'm gonna proximately cause you to cum tonight.
Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of KFC!
I've never seen such a huge bulge in a man's pants... wait a minute, yes I have - mine!
Man this pizza smells good! Oh wait, that's you.
Althought it is illogical, I am afraid you have emotinally compromised me.
Can you run with me so I can tell my friends I've ran with an angel?
I don't want your candy, but I'll take your number.
You interested in trying some new balls?
I want to hold your hand as bad as I want to hold serve.
I think we have a connection stronger than our wifi.
If men were landing pages, I'd only want to convert on you.
Hey baby, you want a green card?
Girl, don't you know you look so fine? Whoever you're seeing, his racquet ain't as big as mine.
When I see you my main sail rise.
Going my way? I've got a seat open.
You're like the scent of coffee, you get me out of bed in the morning.
Boy let me make you a nice, hot tamale.
Will you be my doubles partner for life?
Are you the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? Because you'll be firing my cannon later.
Can you be the fence that keeps me from freedom?
Are you a tamale? Cuz youre hot!
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?
Care to knock a few balls with me?
Hi, I have my own cult!
Try some of this Merlot (or Chablis, Chardonnay, Muscat Cannelli)
Girl I'll beat you 6-0 every time, 'cause I'll never stop loving you.
If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
Do you like basketball? Why I want to show my Magic Johnson.
Did it hurt when they manufactured you in heaven?
If you jut let me hit this spin move on you one time you gone fall in love.
What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter "Y"!
If you were a baseball and I was a bat would you let me hit that?
The best way to taste this wine is from my lips.
My pull buoy's not the only thing that goes between these thighs.
Can I swim in your beautiful blue eyes?
I knew angels could fly, but I didn't know they could run.
Your ugliness is so intense, it's like a punch in the face to anyone unfortunate enough to gaze upon you.
You're the droid I've been looking for.
Wanna see my lightsaber?
Leia's buns ain't got nothing on yours baby.
Yeah, you're gonna love Big Ben. Oh wait, you mean the clock.
You mocha me crazy!
The greatest thing about my job is, the women never taste the arsenic.
You roast my heart.
I can't get out of bed in the morning without a hot Americano.
There are 30 billion grains of sand on this beach, but there's only one you.
The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldn't wear them.
Get rid of your smoke detector and sleep with a firefighter.
The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole!
You'll make a great first wife some day.
May I lick your boots?
You should be wearing a big red nose and clown shoes.
Those aren't sugar plums dancing through my head, it's all you.
Shouldn't you be sitting on top of my tree, Angel?
Get off your high horse! You're too fat and the horse is in pain.
You must play soccer, because you sure are a keeper!
I think you dropped your teeth.
So, do you come out into the real world often?
Was your father an astronomer? Because he stole the stars from the galexy and put them in your eyes.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
I've got some wicked feelings brewing for you.
Why don't you act like a human being or don't you do impersonations?
An SQL statement walks into a bar, approaches two tables, and asks 'may I join you?'
Since I'm all about chocolate, how 'bout a little sugar?
I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes? Please?!
Hey babe, let's do it dolphin style.
Hey, ever ridden a dolphin?
You sure do a lot of cardio because you're always running in my mind.
Hey babe how many dates will it take to get your dad to let you go on a date with me?
Wanna come back to my place and see what the inside of my trunk looks like?
8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks 'What will it be?' One of them says, 'Make us a double.'
Do you lift? Because I was hoping you'd pick me up.
To watch you pray is a sin of its own.
I can go 90 minutes without stopping.
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait until you see my wookie!
You make my heart melt like ice on a beach.
I know you've heard about my bad motivator but I give a mean back rub!
I'll only use rigid pipe in your rim holes.
I could get you undressed in less than 12 parsecs.
Hey handsome, do you want to play firefighters? We can practice stop, drop and roll.
I can't swim! Can I hold on to your floaties?
I'm looking for a long-term relationship and I just can't see that with you.
Do you have a fuse? Because you're about to ignite my passion.
I wanna eat your shit on bread!
If I'm willing to create some legal relations with you, will you let me into your contract?
I'm worried about you getting a sunburn. How about I cover you with my body?
Why don't you come back to my place, and we can do some world-shaking of our own.
I'd tell you how beautiful you are, but you probably wouldn't get the reference.
Your taco meat looks spicy, can I stuff your muff?
Do you prefer two hand touch or full contact?
I'm on my fourth hour so let's get this done so you can get me to the emergency room.
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.
In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.
Hey, beautiful! May I drop my anchor into your island?
