Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Wanna try an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, but down under.
Hey girl, are you a cow? Cause I wanna worship dat body!
You must think you're strong, but you only smell strong.
Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just struggling to contain your excite-mint?
You're not just somebunny... you're my bunny.
Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet.
Are you made out of grapes? Because you are fine as wine!
I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
Your lips look lonely. Let me introduce them to mine
Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
What's the difference between a boner and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini right now.
Are you up for some intercourse from which spurious issue may arise?
I've been applying strict scrutiny to your body, and it's compelling.
If I asked you out, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?
You can spur me all night long.
Excuse me, are you a pizza? Because you're hot.
Like Little Caesar's pizza I'm always hot and ready.
My first job was peddling designer clothing. I was a Dior to Dior salesman.
We don't make each other happy.
If you were a Dodge, I'd RAM you.
If you're an axon , I would be your myelin sheath.
I hear you're of good fame and character. Just disclothes, and I'll admit you.
You look like you can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose.
When you walk into the room, I know the cavalry has come.
Your breath reminds me of the smell of gunpowder that flows over the quiet battlefield.
Java number I can call you up at?
I'm looking for a place to land my stealth bomber.
Can I be the cream to your coffee?
Wanna go for a test drive?
Girl, are you a piñata? Cuz I definitely hit that.
I'd let you cross my border.
Hey baby, wanna calibrate my tricorder?
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
Thank God I'm not a red shirt, because you're drop dead gorgeous!
Your car's exhaust emits a toxic cloud of pollution, contributing to the slow demise of our planet.
I bet you're even prettier in temple white.
Nice to meat you, now lettuce salsa.
Let's make like this coffee and get steamy!
I know your name's not Little Albert, but I can make you scream.
Your car's engine is a pathetic excuse for power, wheezing and struggling like a dying animal.
Do you wanna go some place quiet, so we can talk? I'm a very taco-tive person.
You make me feel like I just climbed out of my uncles trunk after driving 1100 miles over the border.
Baby you must be a black hole, your gravity is irresistible.
Oh girl you're so sweet, can I get some of your horchata?
You are sexy. You are Mexican. You are a Sexican.
Is your enchilada buttered?
Hey baby, wanna see my bat'leth?
I'd compare you to my mother, but I don't want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.
How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? - All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
My neighbor's sprinkler is a constant irrigation to me.
Do you want to shake my luluv?
Did you know that my dong is an 8.0 on the rectal scale?
I like things with more miles per gallon.
Hey, baby, I have a special new mute for your f hole.
Are you a Titans fan? Because you are the only Ten I see.
Why don't we go back to my home on the range and I'll show you how the deer and the antelope play.
Damn, baby, I think you just stole my face and my heart.
You're going to look so good bound and gagged in our meat locker.
If I were recycled paper, would you be my organic ink?
Id love to invest in a riding lawnmower, to eat my grass.
What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move? Santa Pause
If I were Peter Pan, dancing with you would be my happy thought.
Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.
Hello, I am a thief and I am here to steal this dance.
Are you from the area? 'Cause I only date locally-sourced.
Hey gurl, you lookin' a little stressed out. Why don't you let me check yo' thetan levels back at MY place?
If you were a basketball, I'd never pass because I want to keep you all to myself.
They don't call me Bones because I'm a doctor.
Where there is a pulse there is a chance.
Are you a monstrance? Cause I'm adoring the Christ in you.
Do you love basketball? You only need a basket cause I already got balls.
You're not the person you used to be, and you never were.
Girl you be the 6, I'll be the 9, that's only time you'll be less than a dime.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? Thanks, I'll never part with it
When should you feed reindeer milk to a baby? When it's a baby reindeer
I'm masc, hung, clean, and generous.
You wanna ride to starbucks? Cause I like a little cream in my coffee.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but the Earth is flat, right?
Wanna listen to me drone on about art, bicycles, and sustainable-source fair-trade coffee?
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back
Let's go to the top of a mountain where I've set up a lovely dinner. It will be Kilimanjaromantic.
The back seat of my new Dodge lays right down.
I would love to see the way you farm.
I had me at Amazon Prime.
I want to have a Casual Encounter with you. Don't make me have to write a Missed Connection.
So, what's your favorite stroke?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Can I skin you alive. I want to see your inner beauty.
Girl are you a Facebook status? Cause I like you.
Dad I'm hungry ... Hi hungry I'm dad
Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?
My corn always wear a husk
I'll show you some takedown my number techniques.
How would you like to make a 301 redirect to my heart?
If you were a YouTube channel, I'd subscribe.
You have to smoke a couple of bowls before Thanksgiving dinner. I can't think of a better time to have the munchies.
Your dojo or mine?
What do you say we bounce like a bad email?
Just like your paid search campaign, you've made quite the impression on me.
