Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
May I stick a banana in your tailpipe?
Christ has risen today, and so have my pants.
I think our timing is off.
You must be a Bible verse, because I can't stop memorizing you.
I know you've already said no once, but call me Joshua because I'm going to break down your walls.
I like breakfast in bed, so why don't you just come sit on my face?
If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine
Your family tree must be a circle.
I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
Can I stuff your taco with my beef?
Ay dios mio! Jorge jr. just got muy gordito.
I'd say that you're funny but looks aren't everything.
If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Don't get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance?
You do realize that people just tolerate you?
For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.
Excuse me, could you help me out? I have an incredible itch that's buried deep in my butt.
I may not play the guitar but I can pluck your g-string.
You know, women firefighters are professional hose handlers.
One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday, eight hours.
How do you catch an Ether Bunny? -- With an Ethernet.
Wanna put your anchor in my harbor?
I don't believe in love at first sight, but I'm willing to make an exception in your case
You work out, I work out, I think our relationship would work out.
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.
I'd hit you but we don't hit little girls around here.
Would you like to lubricate my camshaft?
I'm dead inside, but you make something in my pants alive.
Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?
I like the way your self-bleached hair sits on your camouflage jacket.
Is that a Easter egg in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
We don't need to get in an accident to exchange information.
I have a good feeling about you.
I get fresh eggs daily.
Why do i need a girlfriend when i can have a boyfriend, keito-kun?
Hey are you a solar system cause I wanna be in Uranus.
Let's get hoth and heavy.
Baby, we'll never have to run to the store for milk.
I would love to grease your fittings.
Are you a pizza box? because I can't wait to get your top off.
You make my heart melt faster than the glaciers of the North! Seriously we should probably do something about that though.
I'm missing a key ingredient for my pizza, and that's you.
Unlike Dee Gordon, I give you full permission to tag my butt
If you sleep with me, I'll let you bomb New Jersey back to the Stone Age.
I'll take a half dozen organic eggs and one of you.
Wanna come over and calculate some fip?
I have celeriac seedlings in the back of my car.
I'll bring you a sammich while you're working hard.
Will you let your feet become the Jannah for my children?
I got a private conference in my hotel room at the winter meetings, come on up if you wanna look at my trade package.
Looks like you're the big ticket free agent, and I got a lotta money to spend.
Even the most skilled plastic surgeon in the world would refuse to touch your face, knowing that it's beyond saving.
