Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
I'm on my fourth hour so let's get this done so you can get me to the emergency room.
Your taco meat looks spicy, can I stuff your muff?
In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.
Hey, beautiful! May I drop my anchor into your island?
Hey girl, I'm an electrician. I just want to spark a conversation.
You're just what the doctor ordered, shock treatment.
Do you prefer two hand touch or full contact?
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.
I've seen transvestites who look more feminine than you.
Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.
It's hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.
My foot isn't the only part of me that's lucky.
Hey girl, where you fin all my life?
Are you a perfect set? Because I'd smash that.
Wanna be my receiver tonight?
You remind me of the Ka'aba - I could walk around you all day long.
If I flip this coin, what are my chances of getting either head or tail?
My personal trainer told me I had to come talk to you for five minutes as part of my routine.
Why do they call it hyper text? -- Too much JAVA.
You are like a 250 W halogen, you brighten my world.
Ohhh so is yuh ah di stop traffic gal
This game is about ball control baby.
If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar.
My lipstick would look great on the inside of your thighs.
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me.
You must be in the wrong place, the Miss Universe contest is over there
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you.
I know you think im sexy, I know you think im fine, but just like all the other guys get a number and wait in line
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
You're so fat your belly button has an echo echo echo...
Just after thimbles were invented there was a shortage, so many people got stuck without one.
Boy are you a fifth because you're perfect.
May I put my bung in your barrel?
Did you just move from a V to I chord? Because I think you're perfect.
Trombones can do seven positions, and baby, my favourite's on the floor.
Do you want to go to bed bath and beyond and smell unscented candles and tell each other what we think we smell?
How does a Welsh man eat cheese? Caerphilly.
Want to go dumpster diving in my alley?
I wanna rosin your bow.
Guitarists finger faster, you know.
Wanna strum my g-string?
Will you help with with my French technique?
You have a nice set of mallets.
Ducks don't have their palms read - they look for it on the web.
Darling, are you having treble? Don't worry, I'll be your strong bass.
Do you mind helping me work on my fingerings?
When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.
Would you like to borrow my tuner? Because you're looking pretty sharp to me.
You make my heart go all staccato.
If you were my theory homework, I'd slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Our voices are more than an octave apart. Let's get a little closer.
Can you please be the Treble to my clef?
Is that a fugue I hear? Because we're about to get entangled.
Hey girl, is your leading tone a C# because all I can see coming next is this D.
Are you from the 19th Century? Cause you can be my Babethoven!
Baby when we're done, you're gonna need a whole rest
Lemme add my app to your dashboard. If you know what I mean.
Hey baby I play bass drum, so you know I could give you a nice deep bang…
How bout you come over here and let me put my damp-it in your f-hole.
How many positions can you get into?
Baby, our love will be like the cello line from Pachabel's Canon, it's gonna go on forever.
A mouthpiece isn't the only place I like to put my lips.
So, do you prefer lento, andante, or allegro?
Hey baby, there's no need to fret if your g-string is open.
When's the last time you had a good macaroon?
There's an Arcade Fire ... In my pants.
If my mind was a playlist, theres only one song in it, and the song is you.
Saxophonists do it wish alternate fingering.
You must be the fifth scale degree of a diatonic scale, because you're always dominant in my thoughts.
Stop, you're giving me a woodwind.
I like my coffee like I like my women: ethical, fair trade, and organic.
Are you my new favorite song? Because I'd like to hear you on repeat.
Will your adjust your note and resolve my raised member?
Do you believe in love at first set, or do we have to run it again?
Helicopter rescue pilots have the most successful pick-up lines.
When I'm with you, my heart starts to syncopate.
Me and you are perfectly tuned together.
Hey baby, what's your dynamic?
I just broke my G-string. Can I borrow yours?
I'm in my backyard...in my Eno... It's a double-nester.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together at an Pixies show.
Yogi had a whiskey, water, and tea drink every night. He was a toddy bear.
The chimney sweep wore a soot and tye.
A cello isn't the only interesting thing between my legs.
Baby I see our relationship being like a good denim jacket: timeless.
You must be a fourth or a fifth, because you're just perfect!
Is that a pair of vintage Ray Bans in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Want to make some parallel motion back to my place?
Hey, you're a pretty great pianist. Better yet, your bae-toven.
Hey girl you're as hot as my Venti double shot dark mocha macchiato with no foam.
Worship me!
Baby are you a diamond in the ruff cause I wanna cut you.
You couldn't be any hotter if you were dead.
Are you a witch? Because am under your spell.
Can I impale you with my 7″ stake?
I love you more than Dustin Kensrue of Thrice loves to write songs referencing fire...
Let's get out of here and go fog up are non-prescription glasses.
Sailing is like oil drilling because they're both crewed businesses.
I thought I packed a memory card for my camera, but I forgot it.
