Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
What do you call a little monsters parents - mummy and deady
The waves may be taking me away but id rather take you out.
I hope you're into cyborg-human relations, because I'm feeling like a machine right now.
Do you drive here often?
Nice asteroids.
What's the "win probability" of me taking you home tonight, baby?
Are you a black hole? Because you keep pulling me in.
Are you a hitter? Because you're killing it.
Hold the sugar please, you're sweet enough for the both of us.
Are you a tip? Cause you've got me on my toes!
This coffee is steaming up my glasses or is that just you?
I can drive stick if ya know what I mean.
What is the best key to get at Christmas? A turkey!
Are you a cubed dice, roughly a quarter of an inch on every side? Because you're fine.
Baby you make my telescope expand.
I think my medication is wearing off.
Your car's performance is as pathetic as your life choices, a constant reminder of mediocrity.
I love the way you espresso yourself.
Your car's engine sounds like a dying walrus in agony, a symphony of mechanical despair.
Your car's paint job is a visual assault, a nauseating combination of mismatched colors and faded dreams.
Your car's handling is so atrocious, it's like trying to navigate a drunken elephant on roller skates.
Can I show you my spitball?
Your car's acceleration is slower than a snail on tranquilizers, a true embodiment of sluggishness.
Tire stores are highway rubbery.
You must be opening night, because my heart races when I'm close to you.
Is there a gaping wound in your side or are you just happy to see me?
The interior of your car is a cesspool of filth and neglect, a breeding ground for bacteria and regret.
Do you want to shake my luluv?
My neighbor's sprinkler is a constant irrigation to me.
How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? - All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
I'd compare you to my mother, but I don't want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.
Hey baby, wanna see my bat'leth?
Is your enchilada buttered?
You are sexy. You are Mexican. You are a Sexican.
Oh girl you're so sweet, can I get some of your horchata?
Baby you must be a black hole, your gravity is irresistible.
You make me feel like I just climbed out of my uncles trunk after driving 1100 miles over the border.
Do you wanna go some place quiet, so we can talk? I'm a very taco-tive person.
Your car's engine is a pathetic excuse for power, wheezing and struggling like a dying animal.
I know your name's not Little Albert, but I can make you scream.
Let's make like this coffee and get steamy!
Nice to meat you, now lettuce salsa.
I bet you're even prettier in temple white.
Your car's exhaust emits a toxic cloud of pollution, contributing to the slow demise of our planet.
Thank God I'm not a red shirt, because you're drop dead gorgeous!
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Hey baby, wanna calibrate my tricorder?
I'd let you cross my border.
Girl, are you a piñata? Cuz I definitely hit that.
Wanna go for a test drive?
Can I be the cream to your coffee?
I'm looking for a place to land my stealth bomber.
Java number I can call you up at?
Your breath reminds me of the smell of gunpowder that flows over the quiet battlefield.
When you walk into the room, I know the cavalry has come.
You look like you can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose.
I hear you're of good fame and character. Just disclothes, and I'll admit you.
If you're an axon , I would be your myelin sheath.
If you were a Dodge, I'd RAM you.
We don't make each other happy.
My first job was peddling designer clothing. I was a Dior to Dior salesman.
Like Little Caesar's pizza I'm always hot and ready.
Excuse me, are you a pizza? Because you're hot.
You can spur me all night long.
If I asked you out, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?
I've been applying strict scrutiny to your body, and it's compelling.
Are you up for some intercourse from which spurious issue may arise?
What's the difference between a boner and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini right now.
Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to see you on a T?
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Easy Bottom?
Hey baby, Can you please hold my rod?
Would you like to see my whopper?
Are you from Russia? Cause you're russian my heart rate!
Come again when you can't stay quite so long.
I think I'm gay, want to prove me wrong?
My name's Pittsburgh, but you can just call me Mr. Steeler ya girl.
Do you know what the difference is between you and my car? I'd love to wreck you.
You're Hotter Than the 2022 World Cup in Qatar
I seem to have sand in my bathing suit, wanna help me get it out?
I feel like I'm in the Arctic, because when I'm with you it's like the sun never sets.
You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!
Hey babe, can I colonize your land and exploit you for your natural resources.
I might be ugly but I'll treat you right!
You would be perfect for this movie I'm shooting its called Dirty Sanchez
You and me, one-on-one, in my bed.
You dropped something! [What?] Your smile.
Where's your paper bag? [huh] Your paper bag to put over your head.
Are you an electrician because I felt a spark through my body when you entered the room.
The moon looks nice tonight...like your face.
Hey there, you like Glazed or creme filled?
You know, I've never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
Do you believe in love at first set or should I curl this 15 more times?
Just like at Burger King, You're the boss.
This sunburn is hot, but baby... you're hotter.
Is that a stalagmite feature or are you just happy to see me?
You're so skinny, that you use a bandaid as a maxi-pad.
You are living proof that Australia was colonized by criminals, because it's 'criminal' how good you look.
