Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.
So what kind of car do you drive?
You're just what the doctor ordered, shock treatment.
Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.
It's hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.
Wanna be my receiver tonight?
You remind me of the Ka'aba - I could walk around you all day long.
Are you a perfect set? Because I'd smash that.
Hey girl, where you fin all my life?
My foot isn't the only part of me that's lucky.
If I flip this coin, what are my chances of getting either head or tail?
I've seen transvestites who look more feminine than you.
My personal trainer told me I had to come talk to you for five minutes as part of my routine.
Why do they call it hyper text? -- Too much JAVA.
This game is about ball control baby.
You are like a 250 W halogen, you brighten my world.
Ohhh so is yuh ah di stop traffic gal
If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar.
My lipstick would look great on the inside of your thighs.
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me.
You must be in the wrong place, the Miss Universe contest is over there
I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
I know you think im sexy, I know you think im fine, but just like all the other guys get a number and wait in line
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
You're so fat your belly button has an echo echo echo...
I know I'm one of the chosen people but I just want to be chosen by you, baby
Do you wanna spin my dreidel?
Wanna go somewhere a little darker?
I'm not saying you're fat, but when you walk down the street, people think the parade is starting and they all grab a bag of peanuts.
Wow. That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer.
Lemme add my app to your dashboard. If you know what I mean.
I'm gonna disrupt the shit out of your technology.
When's the last time you had a good macaroon?
You must not be kosher for passover because you're makeing my matza rise
Are you a vampire? Because I've got something I'ld like you to suck.
There's an Arcade Fire ... In my pants.
I like my coffee like I like my women: ethical, fair trade, and organic.
Do you want to roll around in my collection of antique buttons and talk about our childhood dreams?
Want to go dumpster diving in my alley?
Worship me!
Want to come over and listen to NPR.
I used to think apples and honey were sweet... until I met you.
Do you want to go to bed bath and beyond and smell unscented candles and tell each other what we think we smell?
On a scale from 1 to 10, you're hotter than the number of nights of Hanukkah.
You must be Egyptian because I'm a slave for you.
Are you bar mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
Got any jew in you? Want some?
I wanna light your menorah.
I'm in my backyard...in my Eno... It's a double-nester.
Baby are you a diamond in the ruff cause I wanna cut you.
You couldn't be any hotter if you were dead.
Yo gurl don't that you were mine
Are you a witch? Because am under your spell.
Can I impale you with my 7″ stake?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together at an Pixies show.
Baby I see our relationship being like a good denim jacket: timeless.
We go together like coffee and cigarettes.
Babe, I ain't no hipster, but I could make your hips stir.
Maybe it's just the PBR talking, but I could see myself in a non-monogamous relationship with you, or whatever.
How bout I play moses and u play with my staff.
A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.
Even though it's breaking a commandment, I'm worshipping you right now.
I love you more than Dustin Kensrue of Thrice loves to write songs referencing fire...
In bed, I'm just like my fixed-gear bike: Extremely hard to stop.
You've got bike courier eyes.
It's a good day for the eno. Let's hang later.
You're sweeter than the agave syrup in my organic fair trade mint tea.
Hey girl you're as hot as my Venti double shot dark mocha macchiato with no foam.
God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak
Do you Chemex? Want to see my drip?
Hey girl, I have a unreturned library book that I want to read to you tonight.
Hey, haven't we had sex in the bathroom at Green Room before?
When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn't the only thing you will be touching!
I'd like to have you on vinyl.
I was in love with you before your ex was!
Hey girl, let's go get lost at IKEA.
Hey babe, I know you'll love my pick up lines 'cause you've never heard them before.
Would you like to be my lock screen?
Come over to my place on Shabbat, we can Netflix and cholent.
Are you a hipster? 'Cause we should go out and fog up our glasses!
Wanna go on a post-date?
Hey baby, let's get coffee and vegan donuts.
Was that you at a Vivian Girls concert?
Is that a pair of vintage Ray Bans in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Can I come into your massada?
Girl, I got an extra pair of TOMS that might fit you. Want to come over & try them on?
You must be a dybbuk because my body feels like it belongs to you now and also why do you remind me of my dead great-grandfather?
Let's get out of here and go fog up are non-prescription glasses.
Are those matza balls in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
That ironic t-shirt you're wearing would look better on my floor.
I'd take my sun glasses off for you!
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years
Yeah, I was kind of a big deal at last year's Expozine.
Did you know that PBR actually stands for ‘Pretty Big Rod'?
My beard is the same length as Abraham Lincoln's was on his 7th birthday.
Hey girl, is that an original Yo La Tengo 7†in your pants? Because your butt is extremely valuable.
