Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
You're so skinny, that you use a bandaid as a maxi-pad.
You are living proof that Australia was colonized by criminals, because it's 'criminal' how good you look.
Yeah you're pretty, pretty stupid
You are so old, you fart dust.
The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldn't wear them.
Let me put a toy in your happy meal.
Will you be my doubles partner for life?
You're like the scent of coffee, you get me out of bed in the morning.
Man this pizza smells good! Oh wait, that's you.
I can't get out of bed in the morning without a hot Americano.
You roast my heart.
You mocha me crazy!
Do you work at Subway? Because you're giving me a footlong.
Girl, you can be my Taco Belle.
Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of KFC!
Baby I'm gonna proximately cause you to cum tonight.
The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat. uvu
Althought it is illogical, I am afraid you have emotinally compromised me.
If you jut let me hit this spin move on you one time you gone fall in love.
The best way to taste this wine is from my lips.
If you were a baseball and I was a bat would you let me hit that?
When I see you my main sail rise.
Yeah, you're gonna love Big Ben. Oh wait, you mean the clock.
Do you like basketball? Why I want to show my Magic Johnson.
Try some of this Merlot (or Chablis, Chardonnay, Muscat Cannelli)
What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter "Y"!
You interested in trying some new balls?
You're the droid I've been looking for.
Wanna see my lightsaber?
Leia's buns ain't got nothing on yours baby.
Are you a tamale? Cuz youre hot!
Can you be the fence that keeps me from freedom?
Boy let me make you a nice, hot tamale.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're shellfish.
Hey baby, you want a green card?
Can you run with me so I can tell my friends I've ran with an angel?
Hi, I have my own cult!
Did it hurt when they manufactured you in heaven?
I think we have a connection stronger than our wifi.
I've never seen such a huge bulge in a man's pants... wait a minute, yes I have - mine!
If men were landing pages, I'd only want to convert on you.
Get rid of your smoke detector and sleep with a firefighter.
I knew angels could fly, but I didn't know they could run.
There are 30 billion grains of sand on this beach, but there's only one you.
The sight of your car makes people question the very existence of taste and style.
The greatest thing about my job is, the women never taste the arsenic.
You have a face that could make a blind person regain their sight, only to gouge their own eyes out in horror.
Care to knock a few balls with me?
Going my way? I've got a seat open.
My pull buoy's not the only thing that goes between these thighs.
Can I swim in your beautiful blue eyes?
I don't want your candy, but I'll take your number.
Girl, don't you know you look so fine? Whoever you're seeing, his racquet ain't as big as mine.
Are you the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? Because you'll be firing my cannon later.
I want to hold your hand as bad as I want to hold serve.
If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
Girl I'll beat you 6-0 every time, 'cause I'll never stop loving you.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole!
You'll make a great first wife some day.
You should be wearing a big red nose and clown shoes.
Those aren't sugar plums dancing through my head, it's all you.
May I lick your boots?
Shouldn't you be sitting on top of my tree, Angel?
Get off your high horse! You're too fat and the horse is in pain.
Wanna come back to my place and see what the inside of my trunk looks like?
I'll only use rigid pipe in your rim holes.
I could get you undressed in less than 12 parsecs.
I know you've heard about my bad motivator but I give a mean back rub!
Hey babe how many dates will it take to get your dad to let you go on a date with me?
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait until you see my wookie!
Was your father an astronomer? Because he stole the stars from the galexy and put them in your eyes.
I've got some wicked feelings brewing for you.
I'm worried about you getting a sunburn. How about I cover you with my body?
I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes? Please?!
To watch you pray is a sin of its own.
Since I'm all about chocolate, how 'bout a little sugar?
Hey, ever ridden a dolphin?
I can go 90 minutes without stopping.
8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks 'What will it be?' One of them says, 'Make us a double.'
I'm looking for a long-term relationship and I just can't see that with you.
If I'm willing to create some legal relations with you, will you let me into your contract?
I wanna eat your shit on bread!
I can't swim! Can I hold on to your floaties?
Why don't you act like a human being or don't you do impersonations?
So, do you come out into the real world often?
Why don't you come back to my place, and we can do some world-shaking of our own.
You make my heart melt like ice on a beach.
Hey handsome, do you want to play firefighters? We can practice stop, drop and roll.
Do you lift? Because I was hoping you'd pick me up.
I think you dropped your teeth.
You sure do a lot of cardio because you're always running in my mind.
Hey babe, let's do it dolphin style.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
You must play soccer, because you sure are a keeper!
Do you have a fuse? Because you're about to ignite my passion.
An SQL statement walks into a bar, approaches two tables, and asks 'may I join you?'
I'd tell you how beautiful you are, but you probably wouldn't get the reference.
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.
