Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
I hope you're not married, because I'd hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
My carbon footprint is the only part of me that's small.
I'm undressing you with my 3rd eye.
Hey baby, I've got you two tickets to the gun show...Let's use them to go and protest gun-related violence!
That's a nice hammock. Does it fit two?
If you join this drum circle you're sure to get a good bang.
You and me together would be totally groovy baby!
Wanna come back to my place to discuss complex interrelated cultural and political trends?
Damn girl, I hope you have an open mind because I have quite the night planned for us.
I just love the way you've styled the hair on your legs. Do the cornrows go all the way up?
Wanna go back to my place for a little "fair trade?"
Let's take off each other's clothes... and then run in the fields together.
If we were trees. We'd be of the same species.
You see this shirt? It's made of Abba material.
Do yoga with me as the sun is rising?
Hello, perhaps I could have someone else buy you a drink?
Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?
My van's parked outside. Let's say you and I just take a ride down to the beach and check out the stars?
Let's get trippy together barefoot.
Girl, I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!
If you was my heifer, I'd done drive you to the meat processing plant.
Hey girl, do you raise cattle? Cause those are some nice calves.
Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part...
Girl, is your name May? Cause, May i be your Imam?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh, you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
Shhh, don't worry, you'll repress that this ever happened.
Girl, I know you're studying psychology, but I would love to study you.
Are you my corpus callosum? Because I feel a connection between the two of us.
You are my belongingness to my Maslow's Humanistic Theory based on the Hierarchy of needs.
Even when I can't see you face-to-face, you are always in my visuospatial sketchpad.
Wanna come back to my place and do something you'll repress later?
Girl you make me want more cardiac muscarinic receptors.
Our love is like the duration of long-term memory: it is infinity.
What size boot you wear girl?
Is that sign tracking, or are you just happy to see me?
Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?
Wanna come back to my place, babe? I'm a thoroughbred.
I've got a great psychoanalysis couch back home, care to try it out?
You kick my sympathetic nervous system into overdrive!
I don't know much about Freud, but you remind me of my mother.
I ain't no donkey herder, but I could wrangle that ass.
Hey baby, nice tooth.
You're a better kisser than your Momma and both yer sisters.
Tell me honey ham, did it hurt when the devil spit you up and you landed here?
Roses are red. Spend the night with me and I'll teach you all kinds of cool scientific stuff like that!
You are prettier than a beer truck pulling up in the driveway.
Hey babe, do you know that my mouth can generate over 3000 rpm?
Boy, you activate my ventral striatum.
You look good in that lumberjack shirt but I would like to see you out of it.
Hey baby, wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 10 anyway.
Well, aren't you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?
Wanna find out if my shotgun shell will fit in your double barrel?
God wants us to be together. That's why he gave us the same parents.
My home is where I park it
Girl you must be my cousin because I wanna do you.
You can't handle the tooth!
Hey baby, why do you think they call it a pick-up truck?
I'll be the neurotransmitter to your synaptic gap.
Your peroxide blonde hair looks good, but I would like to see if you are a true blonde.
