Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
A mosquito is the oldest known skin-diver.
The Hobbits were put in charge of collecting highway revenue because they're just so Tolkien.
Instead of engaging in my own hobbies, my wife has me constantly helping her in her garden. I guess you could say I am pistil whipped.
The Crimean cannibal loved Tatar tots.
Everyone in the family knew that they had to join the spy agency. It was a clan destine operation.
Just in time for Thanksgiving a blockbuster movie about sweet potatoes, 'The Silence of the Yams'.
I told the psychiatrist that I was afraid of strangers talking about the founder of stoicism. He said I had zenophobia.
That podiatrist is very sneaky. Give him an arch, he will take a foot.
He could play baseball, football, basketball, soccer and tennis. He was a jock of all trades.
A synthesis is an essay about transgressions.
Contemplating my imminent root canal procedure was deeply unnerving.
Seamstress is caused by wearing tight clothing.
Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written.
A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
John Deere had a lot of detractors when he announced his invention.
I got a nasty electric shock the other day, but I wasn't phased.
The rotting food in the garbage can behind the restaurant was covered with flies. To the vectors go the spoils.
Mail order cows were first shipped by raft down the Mississippi River. They traveled on cattle logs.
I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.
During the rainy season I spread out large books for my guests to wipe their feet on. These are the tomes that dry men's soles.
