Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
Cows make noise only when they're in the mood.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Do you like tacos? Well cool you like 75% of me.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.
I love you more than a flour tortilla with beans!
People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
Can I dip my Chorizo in your salsa?
I want to be Popocatépetl to your IztaccÃhuatl, except your not dead just fucking drunk.
Using a prism allows me to see the sun in a different light.
What happens to a turkey on Thanksgiving? It gets the stuffing knocked in to it.
How do you keep Thanksgiving Day guests from falling asleep on your couch? Infuse the gravy with cocaine.
I want to put my burrito in your taco.
When the cigarette lighter salesman tried to win back his old flame he found that he had met his match.
What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.
What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A Har- VEST.
Are you Mexican cause you should make me some burritos.
One Sunday afternoon the Three Musketeers played a game of touché football.
What holiday do they celebrate in prison? Shanksgiving.
We can blame it on fajita the moment.
When Socrates needed to buy food he went to the grocery stoa.
Let me sauce up your taco meat baby!
Maya got a nice tan in Mexico, maybe next time Yucatan with me?
Why dont people in the ghetto celebrate thanksgiving? KFC isnt open on holidays.
What kind of flooring do alligator hunters use? Reptiles!
My vacuum flask is hopeless and it's a top of the range model - that's the only place it will keep anything warm.
Can I slide my iceberg into your alley?
Fall hardly happens here, but you'll be falling into my bed.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!
Girl, you must be a snowed in driveway, cuz I really want to plow ya.
You couldn't cut the sexual tension in here with a Yellowknife.
You must be Niagara Falls because you've got me moist.
I've got a house in Shaughnessy Heights.
Won't you please open your Northwest Passage and let me hike your tundra?
Do you wanna roll up my rim?
Sorry to bother you but would you wanna play a little hide the sausage with me?
Call me Kathleen Wynne ‘cause I'd spend all my money on you.
Let's go to my place. I'd like to show you my puck collection.
Is that a mini Inuksuk in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
You're so stunning even the Language Police are speechless.
My game is just like Alexander Keith's: "Those who like it, like it a lot."
Hey baby, my truck has remote start!
I don't play football, but I'm definitely a rough rider.
Why don't we go back to the rink and you can show me how you handle your stick.
I can last the entire Cabot Trail.
I want to Winnipeg your Regina.
I won't quit until Huron top of me.
Please harvest my Cavendish potatoes.
I put the MAN in Manitoba.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Did you use Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
Do like Theodore Tugboat and tug.
You look sexy even in layers.
Are you a shale basin? ‘Cause I'd frack you.
Bulls aren't the only thing I know how to ride.
Are you a Bluenoser? 'Cause you're a dime.
My body is "Yours to discover".
It's so cold I can't feel my thighs! Can you feel my thighs?
Vancouver isn't the only thing getting wet tonight.
You must be Drumheller, ‘cause I totally dig you.
You're prettier than a summer day in Lunenburg.
There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the game console box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
Hey Girl, are you a Beaver? Because you sure look like you could use some wood!
Are you a Mountie because I want to mount you.
I'm a high tide and I'm looking to smash.
I'm gonna make you say "Yes b'y" all night.
Is it hot in here or am I just wearing two pairs of long johns?
I want you for myself like Newfoundland has its own time zone.
Let's procreate like the snakes in the Narcisse Dens.
I'm not wearing any long johns.
The Origami classes saw stationery costs increase twofold.
Let me take you on a ride in my John Deere.
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace" - So I bought her nothing.
I'll show you my CN Tower if you show me your Skydome.
Are you timber? Because I'd split you.
Hide your beavers. I'm hunting them.
Would you help an endangered species? Because my woodcock needs help.
You know what they say, wheat fields are made for sowing.
What do you say after this hockey game you come back to my igloo & split a poutine?
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffee, so I could get close to your lips.
Beg yuh a Wuk haffa yuh struccha nuh
Can your beaver eat my log?
I really want to Cape Enrage your Kouchibouguac.
My girl how you chest plate suh clean like it could a eat outta!
Yuh Sweet lak ah angel, so tell me whah deh Gwan up in nah heaven now? Why Gad send yuh ere?
What do wild animals sing at Christmastime? Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!
My girl me wah full up yuh belly like cornmeal dumpling.
Girl if you're Jamaican we would click together coz I'm really into your type, come with me.
Baby, you're the patty to my coco bread.
Baby gi mi yuh number nuh, Mi lost mine?
I think that being a Jamaican is cool, so how about we try the dating pool to see if we're ok?
During his lifetime, the composer Bach was a noted success.
Baby, yuh look sweet like a ginger candy, me wan unwrap you and taste ya spices.
Baby! Gad know seh yuh deh yah? Caw yuh must be a Angel
What's red, white and blue at Christmas time? A sad candy cane!
I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
