Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
What good is inner peace without you?
Are you Sirsasana? Because you turned my world upside down.
Did you get those yoga pants on sale? They're 100% off at my place.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're gonna get a good stretch tonight!
Want to see me plank while lifting both legs?
You tell me your mantra and I'll l tell you mine.
I see we're both doing pigeons!
I bet you're really flexible.
Are you doing Ananda Balasana, or are you just happy to see me, baby?
Let me be your baby cobra.
My Cobra pose isn't the only thing that's rising upward.
I'd let you Chataranga over me any day!
Why don't I help you extend before yoga this evening?
Don't mind me as I full wheel you.
Are you a BJJ specialist? Because I would love to be in your guard!
Our bond is so tight I might just tap.
I wanna be all on top of you like a crucifix.
If I said you had a great body triangle would you hold it against me?
I'm good off my back, but I'll let you keep mount.
I've given my heart away more than Mario Yamasaki, but I'm willing to try again for you.
I'd put you in my guard any day.
Girl, you can mount me any day.
Baby, your name must be Mario Yamasaki because you just stopped my heart prematurely.
Wanna learn the sweet science and do a little ground and pound?
I'm looking to get bobsleigh'd tonight.
I've been carrying this torch for you all night, let's go put it out at my place.
Pool aren't the only thing Olympic-sized around here.
I'm going for the silver, because I'll make sure you come first.
Your smile shines brighter than a Gold Medal!
Girl you are five rings of fine. That's more than opening ceremony got!
Are you an Olympic bobsledder? because u look like you know your way around dangerous curves.
Let's make like the Olympic rings and hook up later.
I'd like to show you my long program, in the no pants ice dance!
Are you a figure skater? Because your figure is out of this world.
My gold medal might be shiny but it looks like a dull penny compared to that sparkle in your eyes.
I'm no curler, but I think I could sweep you off your feet!
Even if you don't get a medal, I can make your trip to _______ worthwhile
Half pipe? Let me show you a full pipe!
I hope I don't get a point deduction, because I just fell for you.
Let me show you my gold medal.
I'm not an Olympic swimmer but I'll dive in your deep end tonight.
You like curling? Check out me curling my biceps!
You could qualify for my Olympics any day.
You must do hurdles, because it only took you seconds to jump into my heart
Do you have swimmers as good as China? We'll have to do something about that!
If you got out with me, I can get you Michael Phelps' phone number.
I won this gold medal, but I'd really like to win your heart.
Can I buy you a Starbucks Trenta or were you looking for something bigger?
Can you watch my laptop for a minute? I'll buy the next round of caffeine.
This must be decaf, cause you're just dreamy!
We should get some coffee because I'm liking you a latte.
I like my baristas like I like my coffee, hot, sweet, and creamy.
Are you hot and ready?
Yeah, I want a medium order of fries and for you to be my date.
I know all the E-numbers.
I would like to give a kiss tofu.
I'll eat Hip Whip on anything.
If I said you had the body of an all-natural, organic-living, animal-loving, environment-nurturing, whale-saving sex machine, would you hold it against me? Please?
Protein, did you say protein? I have endless amounts of protein if needed.
The World's Sexiest Vegetarian is looking for models, can I submit your picture?
Wanna come up and see my Vitamix?
Wanna go to the grocery store and read labels?
What's your favorite thing to do with agave nectar?
Ya wanna mix vitamins?
Your organic shirt looks great on you, can I touch it?
Boy if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber.
Forget the vegan jerky; I'll do some primal stripping for you any day.
Hey baby, wanna come over and scramble my tofu?
Hey, babe, how about some of this late summer veggie gazpacho?
How vegan are you again? oh I can be advised about nutrition for hours.
I've been looking for a seitan worshipper like you my whole life.
I've heard that I taste like nooch--wanna confirm?
Meat is murder, but meat's gonna make you scream.
Sure I could buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the glass.
Hey! You owe me a drink. I dropped mine when you walked by.
I see you've got some tequila's. Does that mean you wanna give me a shot?
I think all the bottles in this bar must be jealous, cause your beauty is the most intoxicating thing in this place.
What do you say I buy the booze and you show me how to shake it.
What do you say we get out of here? I bet you're way better to wake up next to than a hangover.
I'm letting girls take body shots off my amazing torso for 5 euro's. How many can I count you in for?
In medieval times my beer belly would be a sign of prosperity and attractiveness, what do you think?
Look I'm just trying to drink here, but you're very distracting.
Most men/women are intimidated by me. It's okay, you don't have to be scared to buy me a drink.
I couldn't help noticing you're drinking the same as me. Are you trying to copy me?
When you're done with that beer shall we play spinn the bottle?
Are you going to finish that? (pointing at her/his drink)
Excuse me. I am not sure if you're aware but i'm extremely attractive.
Excuse me. My friend here and I are debating about which of these (drinks) is better. What do you think?
Have you tried the (drink) here? It's terrific!
Hi there, are you drinking a beer? Would like to join me in a game of pool?
Hi there, are you drinking a mixed drink? Mind if I join you.
Hi there, is that a tequila shot? Let's take the party back to my room.
I'm fine with being just friends, as long as I can seduce you when we're drunk.
I'm not Irish, but I play drunk very well!
Let's get drunk and tell each other everything we're too afraid to say sober.
Mind if I get drunk with you?
You're not drunk until you make out with me.
I like my tea like I like my men, sweet as hell.
I like my tea like I like my men, hot and comforting.
Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hottie!
