Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Your PR isn't the only number I want.
You must be a triathlon, because you take my breath away.
Is your name Charity? Because my heart is racing for you.
I‘m no photographer, but I can picture us running together.
Are we doing high altitude training because you just took my breath away!
Your stride is enviable. Are you a runner?
Hey I love your shoes. You know they would look even better if they were running alongside me.
My name is garmin, will you take me running everyday?
I just want to run on the trail that leads to you.
I'd love to go up and down with you, fancy a hill rep session?
When it comes to love, I am in it for the long run.
I was looking for a running buddy... for the rest of my life.
So is this your first 5k?
Do you like speed work? 'Cause I'm always down for a quickie.
Did you get lost on your run? Because heaven is a long way from here.
I like the way your spikes match your shoes.
Hey baby, you have a great stride.
You must be a runner because you totally have runner's calves.
Wanna find out what the real fourth event of triathlon is?
Are you a dive set? Because you leave my knees weak.
I'm not sure if it's the 200 butterfly or you that just took my breath away.
Hey girl, on a scale of one to Laremy Tunsil, how available are you?
Do you play football? Because you've got a tight end.
Does the sleeve match the shoes?
You're looking like a tennis ball. I just wanna hit it.
You smell nicer than a new can of tennis balls.
I'll restring your racket...if you restring mine.
Baby you can ride the Tennis Express all night.
I like the way you move on the court.
Hey girl, I can SMASH a forehand like no other.
Are you Roger Federer's ground strokes? Cause baby you're so elegant.
I couldn't help but notice that we have the same stride tempo. We should totally stride together.
Do you have any tape? Because I'm totally ripped.
How about the Jacuzzi after our work out?
Can you teach me how to use this machine?
Lift and chill?
Excuse me miss, do you need a chest spot?
Baby you light up the court, the way that you serve that ball got me overwhelmed.
You are in a constant state of becoming. Then again, if I looked like you I'd constantly be coming too.
Maybe you can give me a private lesson sometime?
So I couldn't help but notice our breathing patterns were really in sync today.
What good is inner peace without you?
Are you Sirsasana? Because you turned my world upside down.
Did you get those yoga pants on sale? They're 100% off at my place.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're gonna get a good stretch tonight!
Want to see me plank while lifting both legs?
You tell me your mantra and I'll l tell you mine.
I see we're both doing pigeons!
I bet you're really flexible.
Are you doing Ananda Balasana, or are you just happy to see me, baby?
Let me be your baby cobra.
My Cobra pose isn't the only thing that's rising upward.
I'd let you Chataranga over me any day!
Why don't I help you extend before yoga this evening?
Don't mind me as I full wheel you.
Are you a BJJ specialist? Because I would love to be in your guard!
Our bond is so tight I might just tap.
I wanna be all on top of you like a crucifix.
If I said you had a great body triangle would you hold it against me?
I'm good off my back, but I'll let you keep mount.
I've given my heart away more than Mario Yamasaki, but I'm willing to try again for you.
I'd put you in my guard any day.
Girl, you can mount me any day.
Baby, your name must be Mario Yamasaki because you just stopped my heart prematurely.
Wanna learn the sweet science and do a little ground and pound?
I'm looking to get bobsleigh'd tonight.
I've been carrying this torch for you all night, let's go put it out at my place.
Pool aren't the only thing Olympic-sized around here.
I'm going for the silver, because I'll make sure you come first.
Your smile shines brighter than a Gold Medal!
Girl you are five rings of fine. That's more than opening ceremony got!
Are you an Olympic bobsledder? because u look like you know your way around dangerous curves.
Let's make like the Olympic rings and hook up later.
I'd like to show you my long program, in the no pants ice dance!
Are you a figure skater? Because your figure is out of this world.
My gold medal might be shiny but it looks like a dull penny compared to that sparkle in your eyes.
I'm no curler, but I think I could sweep you off your feet!
Even if you don't get a medal, I can make your trip to _______ worthwhile
Half pipe? Let me show you a full pipe!
I hope I don't get a point deduction, because I just fell for you.
Let me show you my gold medal.
I'm not an Olympic swimmer but I'll dive in your deep end tonight.
You like curling? Check out me curling my biceps!
You could qualify for my Olympics any day.
You must do hurdles, because it only took you seconds to jump into my heart
Do you have swimmers as good as China? We'll have to do something about that!
If you got out with me, I can get you Michael Phelps' phone number.
I won this gold medal, but I'd really like to win your heart.
Can I buy you a Starbucks Trenta or were you looking for something bigger?
Can you watch my laptop for a minute? I'll buy the next round of caffeine.
This must be decaf, cause you're just dreamy!
We should get some coffee because I'm liking you a latte.
I like my baristas like I like my coffee, hot, sweet, and creamy.
Are you hot and ready?
Yeah, I want a medium order of fries and for you to be my date.
I know all the E-numbers.
I would like to give a kiss tofu.
I'll eat Hip Whip on anything.
If I said you had the body of an all-natural, organic-living, animal-loving, environment-nurturing, whale-saving sex machine, would you hold it against me? Please?
Protein, did you say protein? I have endless amounts of protein if needed.
