Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
You are going up to Washington D. C.? Well honestly your D is the one I ever want to see.
Did you overstay your visa? Because you got 'fine' written all over you.
I can ask you out in whatever language you want, just name it and I'll tell you about it.
Are you saying you are supposed to be in a couch? Honey, we can fly first class from now!
You look like you invented this airplane we are in coz baby you are Wright for me.
Want to play TSA officer and pat me down?
I can last longer than a jet engine.
If I can go to the airport with you, I would pick now so we can check each other's baggage.
My mom says that you should leave extra baggage behind, I agree with her too.
I get jet lags when I am in the airport but if you suck on me, I bet it can get better.
Has anyone unknown to you handled those funbags?
I see you ordered the kosher meal; are you single?
Should we go ahead and start the take off right now, I bet I can take you higher.
I think you should go check in at the airport and then just wait for me right in the room.
I don't care what gate I will board at the airport, as long as I am close enough to you.
I would gladly wait in the airport if you are the one I am waiting for, my darling.
You might as well get your passport all checked up I can check yours if you check mine.
You must have fallen out of some B-17 because you are truly the bomb of all the bombs.
If you are anything, I would love to be your personal item, baby.
Don't worry about me, I am good at packing all the essentials, what about you, boy?
You look like you can be a nice co-pilot with me, together we can live a better life.
Let's cross the international dateline together.
You must be a Customs personnel in the airport because I'd declare all that I have for you.
Airplane food is always so terrible, so I always pack my own food. Want one of these chocolate covered strawberries?
Hey girl, I wanna take my paintbrush and reproduce some Jackson Pollock on that face of yours.
If I told you I like your body of work, would you hold it against me?
your perfection infuriates post modernists
Doesn't it seem like all these paintings look alike?
you're so Monet and you don't even know it
How bout you and me go downstairs and brush up on our strokes?
Are you into monochrome? Because I'd love to use my charcoal to color us black and white.
I love anatomy...especially yours.
If I told you your body looked like the Met's Aphrodite, would you hold it against me?
Are you a Shepard Fairey poster? Because I can't believe you don't already belong to someone else.
I came here wanting to see great art, but I never thought I'd see such a vision of loveliness.
I'd like to hang you up and nail you to the wall.
At first I thought I was looking at a Monet, but you are so much more beautiful up close.
You know, back in the 16th century, this kind of thing was taboo. My how things change...
You must be a piece of art, because I'd like to nail you up against a wall.
I would drag you to a museum, but they said not to touch the masterpieces.
Hey girl. It may take me a few days to carefully document your verso and recto sides.
Have you ever posed nude?
Hey girl, I know you don't accept permanent loans but will you make an exception for my heart?
Call the Art Loss Register, 'cause you just stole my heart.
Let me be your Frank Gehry and I'll be sure to properly balance your curves.
Do fries come with that juxtaposition of light and color
Hey girl is your name Salvador Dali because you is Persistently in my Memory.
Would you mind if I tour the gallery with you?
I would love to draw you. Would you pose for me?
Do you have an audio tour, because I want to hear all about you.
Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art.
Being around you makes me higher than attending Rob Pruitt's ‘Cocaine Buffet.'
You must be an Anish Kapoor sculpture, because I can see myself in you.
You're so fine you could make an impression on Monet.
See that painting? I'd buy it for you if I had a million dollars.
I was not aware that living artists could exhibit themselves here...
Hey girl you shine so bright I need to change my ISO to 100.
Your pretty face sure would make a beautiful painting.
You must be a Richard Serra sculpture because I want to get involved with you, end up stuck in a loop, then get spit out right where I started.
Hey girl call me Rockwell 'cause I'd like to show you my slab-serif.
If I was an artist, you would be my picture!
He can turn my spotlight on.
You make me Les Miserable.
Hey, are you that high note I couldn't hit at callbacks? Cause I can't stop thinking about you.
I'm getting into character by getting into your pants.
Hey girl. You know what my dream role is? A stallion. Cuz then you could ride me eight times a week.
My dream role is to be your girlfriend.
If I blow into the mic will you give me feedback?
Are you the LD today? Because you're all I can focus on.
You give me more butterflies than a places call.
Are you theatre curtains? Cause I like it when you open up.
Are you that line i just brutally messed up? because i can't stop thinking about you.
Gabriel won't be the only thing blowing tonight.
Being apart from you is like feedback in the microphones...it's so painful and ill do anything i can to avoid it.
I want to spend all 525,600 minutes with you.
You can do my eyeliner anytime.
You don't have to get out of my way when I have a crossover.
Hey girl, wanna help me recalibrate my sound board?
Are you a techie carrying a large set piece? 'Cause you just knocked me off my feet.
Are you that scene I messed up? Because I can't stop thinking about you.
I like musicals and I'm straight and I'm willing to sing with you.
Hey girl, are you my light? 'Cause I can't believe it took me this long to find you.
Do you like musicals? 'Cause I'm a boy who's into Broadway.
If you were a script, i'd never want to be off book.
Are you a spotlight cause you're blinding me and making it hard to wall.
Not being with you is like when your bobby pin is pulling on only one hair. It hurts so bad.
I will make you the best single mother ever!
Girl you like Kool-Aid in a wine glass with dat fine ass!
Girl, I wanna pop some caps with you till da hood do us part.
You da only one I'd ever spend my minutes on.
Hey do you have an inhaler? Cause you got dat ass ma!
Let me flip this coin and whatever side it land on that's what I get.
I'm wasted, but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be.
I usually don't ask a girl this question till she's pregnant. What's your name?
I'm gonna call heaven and tell 'em that an angel is missing, but I'm kinda hoping that you're a slut.
Just get in the car, bitch. I'm famous.
My pants might be in the wrong place but my heart is always in the right place.
Ohh I was wondering... Can I have yo' numba?
So tell me, does ur pants thank u for spending time with them when u take them off?
That ass so fat, you could pull a brothas eyes out with the gravity!
