Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you an overcrowded library branch location? Because you are STACKED.
I think must have found the Romance section...
We could make such a beautiful library together.
Do you have a card in the Dewey decimal system? Because I gotta write down your number.
Now that I work at the library I can literally check you out.
Baby, the only section in my library is classified under Dewey 617 because I only have eyes for you.
Can you help me put this away in the anthropology section.
You can classify me in your fantasy collection.
Are you on interlibrary loan? ‘Cause baby, you are outta this library!
Do you have overdue books? Because you have fine written all over you.
You're body is so banging, what do you say we make a sequel.
Are you a thriller? Because I can't seem to put you down.
You were saying, how big is your library again?
You wouldn't happen to have an extra pencil on you?
You know what else is perfect? The card catalog of your features, girl.
Want to come back to my place to see my huge Phillip K. Dick collection?
You. Me. Bacon.
Do you pee here often?
You can pee on my fire hydrant any time.
You had me at ruff.
How did you get through security without setting the sensors off?
We can cross international boundaries together, you and I, let's do it tonight, babe.
Oh, darling you are so cute that I won't even check on your board pass anymore.
You should not be let to travel alone with that pretty face of yours, baby.
Darling, should we drink some coffee in the morning around Paris?
I don't need no captain, just you, to remind me to do things in the upright pose.
I don't know what gate I'm boarding at, but I hope it's close to yours.
Babe, should we check out your baggage and see if we can take some of them off you?
Hey girl, why are you in the business class when you could surely fly up first class?
I get nervous when I fly; do you mind if I hold your hand?
I'm afraid you can't pass this point, 'cause you da bomb, Baby.
I think you have made me believe there is indeed a love in the first flight.
I hate flights but if I get to check in with you in the airport, I can manage it.
Good thing that's not a wood detector, 'cause you'd keep me here all night.
You like to travel, girl? Well, how about I show you my map in the bedroom tonight?
Your sense of wanderlust is truly strong, I love every second I am with you, girl.
What metal are you wearing down there, the detector just went blinking really fast!
The airport officers need not remind me that I have to be in the upright position with you.
I hate staying up all night, especially in the airport but if it's your arrival, I'll be wide awake.
You wouldn't believe what I had to trade for this seat next to you.
Baby, I can show you how they treat people up in the first class in my bedroom tonight.
You are going up to Washington D. C.? Well honestly your D is the one I ever want to see.
Did you overstay your visa? Because you got 'fine' written all over you.
I can ask you out in whatever language you want, just name it and I'll tell you about it.
Are you saying you are supposed to be in a couch? Honey, we can fly first class from now!
You look like you invented this airplane we are in coz baby you are Wright for me.
Want to play TSA officer and pat me down?
I can last longer than a jet engine.
If I can go to the airport with you, I would pick now so we can check each other's baggage.
My mom says that you should leave extra baggage behind, I agree with her too.
I get jet lags when I am in the airport but if you suck on me, I bet it can get better.
Has anyone unknown to you handled those funbags?
I see you ordered the kosher meal; are you single?
Should we go ahead and start the take off right now, I bet I can take you higher.
I think you should go check in at the airport and then just wait for me right in the room.
I don't care what gate I will board at the airport, as long as I am close enough to you.
I would gladly wait in the airport if you are the one I am waiting for, my darling.
You might as well get your passport all checked up I can check yours if you check mine.
You must have fallen out of some B-17 because you are truly the bomb of all the bombs.
If you are anything, I would love to be your personal item, baby.
Don't worry about me, I am good at packing all the essentials, what about you, boy?
You look like you can be a nice co-pilot with me, together we can live a better life.
Let's cross the international dateline together.
You must be a Customs personnel in the airport because I'd declare all that I have for you.
Airplane food is always so terrible, so I always pack my own food. Want one of these chocolate covered strawberries?
Hey girl, I wanna take my paintbrush and reproduce some Jackson Pollock on that face of yours.
If I told you I like your body of work, would you hold it against me?
your perfection infuriates post modernists
Doesn't it seem like all these paintings look alike?
you're so Monet and you don't even know it
How bout you and me go downstairs and brush up on our strokes?
Are you into monochrome? Because I'd love to use my charcoal to color us black and white.
I love anatomy...especially yours.
If I told you your body looked like the Met's Aphrodite, would you hold it against me?
Are you a Shepard Fairey poster? Because I can't believe you don't already belong to someone else.
I came here wanting to see great art, but I never thought I'd see such a vision of loveliness.
I'd like to hang you up and nail you to the wall.
At first I thought I was looking at a Monet, but you are so much more beautiful up close.
You know, back in the 16th century, this kind of thing was taboo. My how things change...
You must be a piece of art, because I'd like to nail you up against a wall.
I would drag you to a museum, but they said not to touch the masterpieces.
Hey girl. It may take me a few days to carefully document your verso and recto sides.
Have you ever posed nude?
Hey girl, I know you don't accept permanent loans but will you make an exception for my heart?
Call the Art Loss Register, 'cause you just stole my heart.
Let me be your Frank Gehry and I'll be sure to properly balance your curves.
Do fries come with that juxtaposition of light and color
Hey girl is your name Salvador Dali because you is Persistently in my Memory.
Would you mind if I tour the gallery with you?
I would love to draw you. Would you pose for me?
Do you have an audio tour, because I want to hear all about you.
Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art.
Being around you makes me higher than attending Rob Pruitt's ‘Cocaine Buffet.'
You must be an Anish Kapoor sculpture, because I can see myself in you.
You're so fine you could make an impression on Monet.
See that painting? I'd buy it for you if I had a million dollars.
I was not aware that living artists could exhibit themselves here...
Hey girl you shine so bright I need to change my ISO to 100.
Your pretty face sure would make a beautiful painting.
You must be a Richard Serra sculpture because I want to get involved with you, end up stuck in a loop, then get spit out right where I started.
