Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Instead of the torah, can I study your body 3 times a day?
Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes
Are you Jewish? Cause the way you're looking at me, I'm beginning to think I would kiss you.
You know how it is with culture, everything begins at sundown!
Are you Jewish? Cause you israeli hot!
Your eyes are shinier than the oil in the menorah!
I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath. It's to give a girl like you a rest from running through my mind the rest of the week.
Want to go fiddle on a roof?
Can I put out your burning bush?
Can I go into you garden of Eden?
My people invented circumcision....Your Welcome
On a scale from 1 to 10, you're hotter than the number of nights of Hanukkah.
You must not be kosher for passover because you're makeing my matza rise
Yo gurl don't that you were mine
Can I come into your massada?
I know I'm one of the chosen people but I just want to be chosen by you, baby
Are u bat mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
You see this dress? It's made of Emma material.
I'll be Moses, you can play with my staff, and I'll scream Let my people go!
Come over to my place on Shabbat, we can Netflix and cholent.
When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn't the only thing you will be touching!
God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak
Even though it's breaking a commandment, I'm worshipping you right now.
A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.
How bout I play moses and u play with my staff.
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years
Are those matza balls in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
You must be a dybbuk because my body feels like it belongs to you now and also why do you remind me of my dead great-grandfather?
I wanna light your menorah.
Got any jew in you? Want some?
Are you bar mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
You must be Egyptian because I'm a slave for you.
I used to think apples and honey were sweet... until I met you.
Do you wanna spin my dreidel?
How about you and I make the dead sea come alive.
My nose isn't the only thing that's big.....
Unlike the torah, I'm gonna put my hands all over you.
I hope you're not married, because I'd hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
You see this shirt? It's made of Abba material.
Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part...
Girl, is your name May? Cause, May i be your Imam?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh, you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
Shhh, don't worry, you'll repress that this ever happened.
Girl, I know you're studying psychology, but I would love to study you.
Are you my corpus callosum? Because I feel a connection between the two of us.
You are my belongingness to my Maslow's Humanistic Theory based on the Hierarchy of needs.
Even when I can't see you face-to-face, you are always in my visuospatial sketchpad.
Wanna come back to my place and do something you'll repress later?
Girl you make me want more cardiac muscarinic receptors.
Our love is like the duration of long-term memory: it is infinity.
Is that sign tracking, or are you just happy to see me?
Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?
I've got a great psychoanalysis couch back home, care to try it out?
You kick my sympathetic nervous system into overdrive!
I don't know much about Freud, but you remind me of my mother.
Boy, you activate my ventral striatum.
I'll be the neurotransmitter to your synaptic gap.
Mind if I put my cigar in your ashtray? This isn't just any cigar...
I'm conducting an experiment, wanna come spend the night over so i can interpret your dreams?
Hey, I understand you like him, but projection works.
Excuse me, can I sleep with you because I need to make copies?
Baby, all I see in my Rorschach test is me and you.
Baby you're like an independent variable the way you enlarge my bar graph.
If you were a drug you'd be a stimulant because you make my heart beat faster.
Can we recreate the Stanford Prison Experiment? You can be bad cop all you want.
Hey girl can I get your number in my Long Term memory?
Why don't you let me put my myelin on your axon for the night?
You've got spunk. I like that in a man.
Looks like you need some flame in your life.
Hey, you're beautiful. Sit on my face?
Is your name Katniss? Because you're sparking a rebellion in my district.
Are you an angel? Because I wish I was dead and if so, that'd be a great sign.
Girl you're so hot that I would still talk to you even after I'm off the anti-depressant pills I stole from my hospital's pharmacy.
Are you depressed? Because I see you in my future.
Baby, all of your facial parts are in the right spots.
Do you know what this shirt if made of? Woah, I didn't say touch it!
Is your name Siri? Because talking to you is making me feel uncomfortable.
Are you the exit? Because I always want to be near you.
Are you my phone? Because I can't stop staring at you in public.
Are you that weird mole I found? Becasue I don't stop thinking about you.
Are you a termite? Because you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
Just say yes now and I wont have to spike your drink.
It's hard for me to concentrate around you because all the blood from my brain has immediately gone to my penis.
I want to floss with your pubic hair.
I have a van out the back and there is free candy in it.
Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.
If I touch you, do you promise not to call the cops?
My couch pulls out, but I don't
Hi, you'll do just fine!
You're so good lookin' I'd drink your bath water.
I'm kind of new around here... can you show me the way to your apartment/house?
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
Is your Dad in prison? If I were your Dad, I'd be in prison.
If your feeling down, remember, I'll feel you back up
Can you give me directions... to your heart? And kidneys?
Will you run away from me somewhere romantic?
I've got a crawlspace with your name on it.
I have a loaded gun, get in the car.
I bet it hurt when you fell from Heaven? I can help you get there if you'd like?
