Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
If I was Nephi...I would go and do you.
Just like the first book of Nephi I keep coming back to you.
Not even the veil could make me forget you!
If Eve was tempted by an apple that has to be my fruit.
Hi, I'm new in town and I was wondering if you could give me directions to your heart.
If you were a cereal, you'd be Lucky Charms because you're magically delicious!
Are you hot, or is it just the spirit burning in you?
You remind me of my three other wives.
Wanna hold the priesthood?
Are you the spirit? Because whenever I think about you I feel a burning in my bosom.
Can I buy you a cup of Postum?
An angel said he would destroy me if I did not sleep with you.
We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth.
You look nearly 22. Most Mormons are 2-3 years into marriage by now – just settle for me!
What's your favorite temple? Mine is yours.
I can't think of anyone else I'd rather survive Armeggedon with.
I'd like to have her on my post.
How'd you like to pick up these cans?
I have $100,000 burning a hole in my pocket, would you like to reg me?
Congratulations, you've gone Clear... to my heart!
Wanna go up my Bridge to Total Pleasure?
Would you like to ride my face to total freedom?
Want to help me get my stats up?
Wanna MEST around?
Let's co-audit on OT LXIX.
You're sweating because of those extra Body Thetans. Want to slip into something more comfortable?
There's an incident in my pants, and you're invited.
I want to put my intention in you.
What's a pretty girl like you doing on a prison planet like this?
Whenever I see you, my tone arm rises!
I'm bad luck. Why don't you pull me in?
My org needs a touch assist.
How about you hold my can while I audit your body thetans?
I've been waiting 75 million years to see a meat body like yours.
Hey babe, I'd like to you feel my postulate.
That's a nice-looking yarmulke you're wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning.
If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?
Are you the massiah, beacuse I've been waiting for you
On Yom Kippur, the Mishnah prohibits marital relations. Thank God we're not married!
Can I light your manorah?
Once you go Jew, no Christian will do.
Instead of the torah, can I study your body 3 times a day?
Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes
Are you Jewish? Cause the way you're looking at me, I'm beginning to think I would kiss you.
You know how it is with culture, everything begins at sundown!
Are you Jewish? Cause you israeli hot!
Your eyes are shinier than the oil in the menorah!
I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath. It's to give a girl like you a rest from running through my mind the rest of the week.
Want to go fiddle on a roof?
Can I put out your burning bush?
Can I go into you garden of Eden?
My people invented circumcision....Your Welcome
On a scale from 1 to 10, you're hotter than the number of nights of Hanukkah.
You must not be kosher for passover because you're makeing my matza rise
Yo gurl don't that you were mine
Can I come into your massada?
I know I'm one of the chosen people but I just want to be chosen by you, baby
Are u bat mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
You see this dress? It's made of Emma material.
I'll be Moses, you can play with my staff, and I'll scream Let my people go!
Come over to my place on Shabbat, we can Netflix and cholent.
When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn't the only thing you will be touching!
God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak
Even though it's breaking a commandment, I'm worshipping you right now.
A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.
How bout I play moses and u play with my staff.
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years
Are those matza balls in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
You must be a dybbuk because my body feels like it belongs to you now and also why do you remind me of my dead great-grandfather?
I wanna light your menorah.
Got any jew in you? Want some?
Are you bar mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
You must be Egyptian because I'm a slave for you.
I used to think apples and honey were sweet... until I met you.
Do you wanna spin my dreidel?
How about you and I make the dead sea come alive.
My nose isn't the only thing that's big.....
Unlike the torah, I'm gonna put my hands all over you.
I hope you're not married, because I'd hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
You see this shirt? It's made of Abba material.
Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part...
Girl, is your name May? Cause, May i be your Imam?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh, you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
Shhh, don't worry, you'll repress that this ever happened.
Girl, I know you're studying psychology, but I would love to study you.
Are you my corpus callosum? Because I feel a connection between the two of us.
You are my belongingness to my Maslow's Humanistic Theory based on the Hierarchy of needs.
Even when I can't see you face-to-face, you are always in my visuospatial sketchpad.
Wanna come back to my place and do something you'll repress later?
Girl you make me want more cardiac muscarinic receptors.
Our love is like the duration of long-term memory: it is infinity.
Is that sign tracking, or are you just happy to see me?
Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?
I've got a great psychoanalysis couch back home, care to try it out?
You kick my sympathetic nervous system into overdrive!
I don't know much about Freud, but you remind me of my mother.
Boy, you activate my ventral striatum.
I'll be the neurotransmitter to your synaptic gap.
Mind if I put my cigar in your ashtray? This isn't just any cigar...
I'm conducting an experiment, wanna come spend the night over so i can interpret your dreams?
