Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are those your tits in your socks or are you just happy to see me?
Would you like to come home with me and pet my kangaroo?
Wanna play hide the Koala?
I'd like to take a safari in your outback.
I wanna get lost in your Outback.
Are you from Australia? Cuz I'd like to visit you down under.
Are you the ex leader of the Aus Democrats because I'd love to explore your Ridgeway.
I got a pois'nous snake in me pants, wanna see it?
I'm interested in working in your penal colony.
Let's boomerbang!
I got a sauso Sanga in me pants and I'm happy to see ya!
Do u have Australian in you? Would u like some?
Can I see the little joey in your pouch?
Ooh baby, I'm like a boomerang. You can run, but I'm coming right back to you no matter what.
Do you want to Australian Kiss? It's like the French kiss only down under.
Are you Australia? Cause your geographical location is hot.
That's right; I'm bigger'n the Sydney Tower.
You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.
There's some cabanossi and cheese back at my house with ya name on it.
Wait until you see my thunda from down unda!
You must be the queen. Because I would be more than happy to fly my flag for you.
Would you like to come to my quarters tonight for some toast?
You know the Mounties? Well how about you Mount Me?
I'm going to straddle your border like Lloydminster.
Are you from Canada? Because if you're wondering if you can go out on a date with me, well, you CAN–UH-DUH!
Winter is coming as frequently as you would if you slept with me.
You and I could totally melt my igloo.
My heart is as desolate as Saskatchewan without you.
Are you a sugar maple tree? Because I would totally tap that.
Have you ever been fishing? 'Cause we should hook up sometime.
Take an Avonleap of faith and go on a date with me!
My igloo is cold, can I sleep with you tonight?
You look like a vision in your dress tartan.
I'm really into architecture; want to see my CN tower?
Will you help me erect my totem pole?
Is that a maple syrup bottle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
You know what they say about guys with big snowshoes.
Hey babe. Wanna go for a timmies run?
You're sweeter than my maple syrup.
Want to see my lumber, Jack?
You're a beluga in this sea of cod.
The darker the berry the sweeter the juice, unless you're making syrup, of course.
You've never been to Port Hardy? I'll take you. It's in my pants.
I'm cold just thinking about Canada. Let's Cuddle.
Are you a beaver? Because dam!
The thought of you makes me redder than the sands at North Shore.
May i take your truck for a test drive?
Hey baby, can I roll up your rim?
Can I hiber-mate with you?
You ever been to a hockey game with someone who understands hockey?
Fall hardly happens here, but you'll be falling into my bed.
Girl, you must be a snowed in driveway, cuz I really want to plow ya.
You couldn't cut the sexual tension in here with a Yellowknife.
You must be Niagara Falls because you've got me moist.
I've got a house in Shaughnessy Heights.
Won't you please open your Northwest Passage and let me hike your tundra?
Do you wanna roll up my rim?
Sorry to bother you but would you wanna play a little hide the sausage with me?
Call me Kathleen Wynne ‘cause I'd spend all my money on you.
Let's go to my place. I'd like to show you my puck collection.
Is that a mini Inuksuk in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
You're so stunning even the Language Police are speechless.
My game is just like Alexander Keith's: "Those who like it, like it a lot."
Hey baby, my truck has remote start!
I don't play football, but I'm definitely a rough rider.
Why don't we go back to the rink and you can show me how you handle your stick.
I can last the entire Cabot Trail.
I want to Winnipeg your Regina.
I won't quit until Huron top of me.
Please harvest my Cavendish potatoes.
I put the MAN in Manitoba.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Did you use Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
Do like Theodore Tugboat and tug.
You look sexy even in layers.
Are you a shale basin? ‘Cause I'd frack you.
Bulls aren't the only thing I know how to ride.
Is that your Moose?
I really caribou-t you.
Are you a Bluenoser? 'Cause you're a dime.
My body is "Yours to discover".
It's so cold I can't feel my thighs! Can you feel my thighs?
Vancouver isn't the only thing getting wet tonight.
You must be Drumheller, ‘cause I totally dig you.
You're prettier than a summer day in Lunenburg.
Hey Girl, are you a Beaver? Because you sure look like you could use some wood!
Are you a Mountie because I want to mount you.
I'm a high tide and I'm looking to smash.
I'm gonna make you say "Yes b'y" all night.
Is it hot in here or am I just wearing two pairs of long johns?
I want you for myself like Newfoundland has its own time zone.
Let's procreate like the snakes in the Narcisse Dens.
I'm not wearing any long johns.
Let me take you on a ride in my John Deere.
I'll show you my CN Tower if you show me your Skydome.
Are you timber? Because I'd split you.
Hide your beavers. I'm hunting them.
Would you help an endangered species? Because my woodcock needs help.
You know what they say, wheat fields are made for sowing.
What do you say after this hockey game you come back to my igloo & split a poutine?
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffee, so I could get close to your lips.
