Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
So, are you a satanist?
You look good with skeletons.
You're depressed, TOO?!
Can I nail you? (and I don't mean to a crucifix!)
Ever do it on an embalming table?
Hey, you in the black!
Your coffin or mine?
Are you a grave? Because I want to bury myself inside you!
I wanna spin you upside-down like my cross.
I C Major potential in you and me performing a duet together.
Let's measure the interval between me, you, and our clothes all off.
Are you an F# because I miss you constantly.
I wish you were an augmented 6 chord so you could bring resolution to my raised member.
I'd like to finger your fret board.
Girl you must have swallowed a speaker, cause your beauty is louder than the rest.
How would you like to see my big organ?
You know where to best find music? Between the sheets.
Hey, you're a pretty great pianist. Better yet, your bae-toven.
Want to make some parallel motion back to my place?
You must be a fourth or a fifth, because you're just perfect!
A cello isn't the only interesting thing between my legs.
I just broke my G-string. Can I borrow yours?
Hey baby, what's your dynamic?
Me and you are perfectly tuned together.
When I'm with you, my heart starts to syncopate.
Do you believe in love at first set, or do we have to run it again?
Will your adjust your note and resolve my raised member?
Are you my new favorite song? Because I'd like to hear you on repeat.
Stop, you're giving me a woodwind.
You must be the fifth scale degree of a diatonic scale, because you're always dominant in my thoughts.
Saxophonists do it wish alternate fingering.
If my mind was a playlist, theres only one song in it, and the song is you.
Hey baby, there's no need to fret if your g-string is open.
So, do you prefer lento, andante, or allegro?
A mouthpiece isn't the only place I like to put my lips.
Baby, our love will be like the cello line from Pachabel's Canon, it's gonna go on forever.
How many positions can you get into?
How bout you come over here and let me put my damp-it in your f-hole.
Hey baby I play bass drum, so you know I could give you a nice deep bang…
Baby when we're done, you're gonna need a whole rest
Are you from the 19th Century? Cause you can be my Babethoven!
Hey girl, is your leading tone a C# because all I can see coming next is this D.
Is that a fugue I hear? Because we're about to get entangled.
Can you please be the Treble to my clef?
Our voices are more than an octave apart. Let's get a little closer.
If you were my theory homework, I'd slam you on the table and do you all night long.
You make my heart go all staccato.
Would you like to borrow my tuner? Because you're looking pretty sharp to me.
Do you mind helping me work on my fingerings?
Darling, are you having treble? Don't worry, I'll be your strong bass.
You have a nice set of mallets.
Will you help with with my French technique?
Wanna strum my g-string?
Guitarists finger faster, you know.
I wanna rosin your bow.
Trombones can do seven positions, and baby, my favourite's on the floor.
Did you just move from a V to I chord? Because I think you're perfect.
Boy are you a fifth because you're perfect.
Can you sing low? Because I'm all about that bass.
Let's just cut to the chase and duet already.
Is that a microphone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Save a drum, bang a drummer.
I wish I was your flute...then you could press my buttons and blow me all night long.
Lets go into the practice room and work on our tonguing, fingering and lip slurs.
You can tickle my ivories anytime, baby.
You are treble-y cute.
I see you play bass clarinet. You must like the bigger kinds of wood.
Baby, you'd better lower your pitch, 'cause right now, you're lookin' sharp!
If you were a solo, I'd give you a superior rating.
You can treat me like an ad lib solo, and play with me any way you want.
Hey baby, is your leading tone c#? Because I could see this night resolving to the D.
You make me crescendo.
You and i are like c and b# we look different but were the same at heart.
Altos know how to go down low.
I bet we'd get into some serious treble together.
If you were a saxophone, I could finger twelve notes on you with just my left hand.
There is nothing accidental about your body, baby. No sharps, no flats, all curves...
I want to make you tremolo.
Is there a triad in your pocket, or are you just augmented to see me?
Composers know how to score.
I love you more than 20th centrury composers love atonality.
I'm lower brass, and as you know, we get down like nobody's business.
If I poured you a glass, I'd use my good stemware.
If you were starring in a movie about wine, which character would you be?
Would you like to go for a vineyard tour next month -- in Italy?
I'd abstain from wine for month for just one night with you.
I hear you like wine. Well, if I tasted you, I'd roll you around on my tongue for hours.
You need a wine tasting partner? Because I ‘m something of a wine geek.
Excuse me, but I just ordered a bottle of wine, and it turns out my friend can't make it after all. I'd hate for it to go to waste. Would you care to join me?
May I put my bung in your barrel?
If only I were that wine you are drinking, because then I would already be inside of you.
If I tasted you, I'd roll you around with my tongue for hours.
I'm local, organic and biodynamic – wanna taste?
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
You're so cute, I could just bottle you and drink you up.
Would you like to plant a vineyard with me?
You're spicier than Syrah.
I bet you drink lots of wine because the antioxidants are obviously doing your body good.
Let's run away to New Zealand together. We can work harvest, travel the countryside and then stop in Figi on the way home to recharge
