Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you a martini? Because you're making me a little bit dirty.
I don't usually order cocktails, but I'll have a martini if you're the one making it.
Do you have a straw? Because you just made me weak in the knees.
Is it just me, or does this drink taste better when I'm talking to you?
Do you have any tequila? Because I'm looking to get a little bit of salt, a little bit of lime, and a whole lot of you.
Can I buy you a drink? Or do you prefer cash tips?
Are you a bartender? Because you just gave me a shot of love.
Is your dad a pirate? Because you're a treasure I've been searching for.
Are you a dolphin? Because you make me want to jump for joy.
Can I borrow your surfboard? Because I want to ride the waves of your love.
Is your name Baywatch? Because you've been running in slow motion in my mind all day.
Are you a seagull? Because you've stolen my heart.
Can I be your beach ball? Because I want to bounce into your life.
Are you a tide? Because you make my heart rise and fall.
Can I be your surf instructor? Because I want to ride the waves of your love.
Are you a lighthouse? Because you guide me towards happiness.
Can I be your beach fire? Because I want to keep you warm all night.
Do you have a snorkel? Because you take my breath away.
Can I be your beach breeze? Because I want to bring a refreshing change into your life.
Is your name Shelly? Because I want to be shellfish and keep you all to myself.
Are you a seashore? Because I want to walk alongside you forever.
Are you a seahorse? Because you make my heart gallop.
Can I be your beach sunset? Because I want to paint the sky with love for you.
Are you a beach volleyball? Because I want to dive into your love.
Can I be your beach umbrella? Because I want to protect you from life's storms.
Are you a sand dune? Because you make my heart shift with every step.
Are you sunscreen? Because you're the only one I want to rub all over.
Is your name Ariel? Because we were meant to be part of each other's world.
Are you a prescription medication? Because I've been feeling sick without you.
Do you have an IV of charm, because you're injecting confidence into my heart.
You must be a surgeon, because you're always cutting to the chase... and my heart.
Are you a doctor? Because you're making me feel like I'm under anesthesia... in a good way.
Do you have a stethoscope, because I think we could take our relationship to the next level.
Are you a doctor? Because I've got a bad case of attraction and I need some treatment... from you.
Do you have a medical degree in flirting, because you're making me feel like I'm in a hospital bed... with a fever for you.
You must be an epidemiologist, because you're spreading love and happiness wherever you go.
Are you a doctor of love? Because you're prescribing me a healthy dose of affection and I'm hooked.
You're so cute, I need an EpiPen to stop my heart from racing.
Do you have a nurse's uniform? Because I think we could get some quality time in... and I don't mean just the medical kind.
Are you a doctor? Because you're making me feel like I'm in a hospital bed... and I never want to leave.
Do you have a medical degree in sarcasm? Because you're always giving me a diagnosis of "you're awesome"
Are you a doctor of laughter? Because you're making me laugh so hard I need an oxygen tank.
You're so smart, I think we could make a great team... and by team, I mean in the operating room.
Do you have a thermometer? Because I think our relationship is reaching new temperatures... and I'm not just talking about my body temperature.
Are you a doctor? Because you're making me feel like I'm in good hands... and not just because of your medical skills.
Do you have a nurse's uniform? Because I think we could get some quality time in... and I don't mean just the medical kind.
You must be an epidemiologist, because you're spreading love and happiness wherever you go... including to my heart.
Do you have a medical degree in flirting, because you're making me feel like I'm in just... and I never want to leave.
Are you a doctor? Because you're always giving me a diagnosis of "you're awesome" and I think it's contagious.
You're so smart, I think we could make a great team... and by team, I mean in the operating room of life.
Are you a lure because I'm hooked on your smile.
Do you have a boat license because I want to take you for a ride.
Are you a fish with scales of gold because I'd love to reel you in.
You must be a worm because you're wriggling your way into my heart.
Do you have a fishing rod license because I want to cast my line and catch you.
Are you an anchor because you're holding me down with your charm.
Can we go on a fishing trip together... or just pretend it's one?
Do you have a net to catch my heart because I think it's in danger of being swept away.
Are you a school of fish because you're swimming in my direction.
Can I take you out on the lake and show you what I'm hooked on?
You must be a fishing hat because you're covering me with your charm.
Do you have a boatload of charm because I think we could navigate our way to happiness together.
Are you a fish fryer because you're cooking up some serious attraction.
Can I help you reel in the day... and maybe something more?
You must be a fishing guide because you're leading me to new waters.
Are you an ocean breeze because you're blowing me away.
Can we go on a fishing trip... without the fishing part?
You must be a fish market because you're a fresh catch!
Do you have a treasure chest of secrets because I think we could dive into each other's hearts.
Can I help you cast your worries away... and maybe mine too?
Do you have a treasure map to your heart because I think I could navigate it.
Are you an underwater explorer because you're discovering new depths with me.
Can I help you reel in the weekend... and maybe something more?
Do you have a boatload of adventure because I think we could chart some exciting territory.
Are you a fisherman's net because you're catching me off guard.
You must be an ocean wave because you're crashing into my heart.
Are you an otter? Because you're making my heart splash.
Do you have a fish fry going on in your pants?
Can I be your tackle box's best friend?
Is your name Fin-tastic? Because you're making a splash in my heart.
Are you an expert angler, because you're always reeling me back in.
Can I be the bait to your hook?
Is your name River? Because you're flowing through my veins.
Do you have a fishing net for catching hearts and making them mine?
Are you a fisherman's dream come true, or just a fishy tale?
Can I be the lures that get caught in your tackle box of love?
Do you have a fishing license for flirting with danger?
Are you a fishing rod? Because my heart gets hooked every time I see you.
Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes like a fish in the sea.
You must be a fisherman, because you've just reeled in my heart.
Are you a bait shop? Because you've got everything I've been fishing for.
Is your name Ariel? Because we mer-maid for each other.
Are you a catch-and-release? Because I don't think I could ever let you go.
You must be the ocean, because I'm lost at sea when I'm with you.
Are we at a fishing tournament? Because you're the grand prize I've been waiting for.
Do you like to fish? Because I'm hooked on you.
Is your name Gillian? Because I feel like I've finally caught the one.
Can I follow you home? Because I've just caught the biggest catch of my life.
You must be a fish, because I've been angling for someone like you.
Do you believe in love at first catch, or should I cast my line again?
