Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!
You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles.
You have a very sympathetic face. It has everyone's sympathy.
You're so fat, you sweat gravy.
You're so ugly words can't explain it. So I'll just go throw up.
There should be government regulations against all your goodness.
Did you hear about the herb who was an all round great guy, did loads of charity work and was always there to help? He was a Tarragon Of Virtue.
Your broccoli heads are so big!
I've got some new rubbers, so it's ok to sow my wild oats if it gets too wet in the field.
You're so cute, I need an EpiPen to stop my heart from racing... and also to make sure it stays that way.
If a Monk throws a hissy fit, is it a temple tantrum?
I think we should start a family tree.
You smell like silage and sunshine.
Are you a secret menu item? Because I'd order you every time.
Is there a non-creepy way to hit on your waiter? If so, please text it to me.
The most popular operation for orthopaedic surgeons is upper-leg surgery: very hip.
Are you a medium? Because I'd like to paint you on carpet.
