Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
What a great looking dog, mind if I pet you, I mean her
Your breath smells like Greenies.
I'm crazier than a Beagle in a vacuum factory, baby!
Did you win "best in show"? Because you sure are a winner to me.
Can I get you a tennis ball?
My, your butt smells delightful!
Hey Gorgeous, can I buy you a liver treat?
Hello there, beautiful… looking for an Alpha Dog?
What a cute puppy. One day you're going to be as beautiful as your Mommy
I'll be your Tramp if you'll be my Lady.
You must be my backyard coz I really dig you
Are you an archaeologist? Because I?ve got a very large bone for you to examine
With your beauty and my thoroughbred we?d make an exotic litter of puppies
If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?
Do you believe in cross-breding?
Would you like to go on a poop-duty double date?
Is it warm out here, or are you in heat?
Can you help me find someplace to pee?
Woof woof woof, woof woof! Woof woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof dinner and a movie?
That's a beautiful dog. Does she have a phone number?
Tell me what makes you purrr
Don't purrcrastnate just be mine
I like you furry much
Cat call me.
Baby, we only got 9 lives.
I will make you purrrrr!
Are you a bag of treats? Because I wanna sample you.
Be mine, it's meow or never
I'd like to get your tongue.
Dinner and a mewvie?
I'd give up one of my 9 lives for you
If I said you have nice fur, would you hold it against me?
Are we in the litter box? Because I'm diggin' you.
I have a cat, she'd like to meet you.
Meet me by the dead bird.
Can I spend all my 9 lives with you?
Girl you must be the back of my paw because I want to lick you constantly.
Mind if I sniff your butt?
If you were a cat, I'd let you sleep in my bed every night.
Let me take meowt on a date
You complete meow me
My vet says I'm lacking in Vitamin U.
You're purrrrfect!
Want to see some hairballs?
Can you take me to the vet, because you just took my breath away.
Let's litter.
If a cat were to describe you. It would say you're purrrrfect.
Are you one of them hot cougars that pick up young willing men?
You're the cats whiskers.
If you were a cat, I'd spend all 9 lives with you.
I'll make you purrrrrrrrr.
I like cats more than dogs.
I will pawlways love you
Your appearance is so repugnant, it could make a sewage treatment plant smell like a field of roses.
You have a face that could make a strong man weep tears of despair and contemplate the meaninglessness of life.
Your ugliness is so all-encompassing, it's a wonder that mirrors don't shatter in your presence.
Even the most skilled plastic surgeon in the world would refuse to touch your face, knowing that it's beyond saving.
Your face is like a train wreck, a horrifying disaster that leaves onlookers scarred for life.
Congratulations, you've achieved a level of repulsiveness that defies all comprehension.
The sight of your car makes people question the very existence of taste and style.
Your car's suspension is as stiff as a corpse, providing a bone-shattering experience that leaves passengers longing for the sweet embrace of death.
The interior of your car is a haven for filth and grime, a breeding ground for bacteria and foul odors.
Your car's handling is so atrocious, it's like trying to maneuver a drunken elephant through a minefield.
Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, I want to disappear.
Do you have a map? Because I want to avoid you at all costs.
Is your mom a parking ticket? Because she raised a total failure.
Are you a loan? Because you're a burden and nobody wants you.
Is your dad a baker? Because you're as stale as day-old bread.
Are you a mirror? Because I can't stand the sight of you.
Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm not feeling any connection here.
Are you a dictionary? Because you're full of useless words and nobody cares.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again and remind you how repulsive you are?
Is your dad a photographer? Because he must have taken a million shots to get one that ugly.
Is your mom a bear? Because you're as unbearable as she is.
Are you a shooting star? Because I wish you would disappear forever.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I'm gonna need one after gouging my eyes out from looking at you.
Is your dad a scientist? Because you're a failed experiment.
Are you a garbage can? Because I want to dump all my regrets and disappointments on you.
Do you have a name or can I call you disappointment?
Is your mom a drug dealer? Because you seem like a bad trip waiting to happen.
Are you a landfill? Because you're full of trash and nobody wants to be near you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again and vomit?
Is your dad a clown? Because your existence is a joke without a punchline.
Are you a nightmare? Because I can't wake up from the horror of being near you.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can't stand the reflection of your hideous face.
Is your mom a vampire? Because I can't find any trace of life or beauty in you.
Are you a fungus? Because you're growing on me and it's making me sick.
Do you have a name or can I just call you regret?
Are you a sewer? Because you're a cesspool of filth and nobody wants to be near you.
Is your mom a witch? Because your presence is a curse upon my soul.
Are you a disease? Because being near you feels like a slow and painful death.
Do you have a mirror? Because I need something to shatter to escape the horror of your presence.
Is your dad a monster? Because you're a terrifying creature that haunts my nightmares.
Are you a black hole? Because you suck the joy and happiness out of every room you enter.
Are you a fisherman because I think you're a reel catch.
Are you farm raised or do you have to be wild caught?
Aren't you a catch!
Babe, are you a master baiter? Because this fish is yours tonight.
Babe, it's time to get out of this fishbowl and see the real world with me.
