Funny Insults - Part 39

The Best Insults

Describe the type of insults you want:

Can I slide my iceberg into your alley?

Want to help raise my totem pole?

Wanna go back to my igloo and cuddle?

Damn girl you must be a maple tree because I'd tap that.

So get your tiny butt over here and let's watch hockey and cuddle, eh.

I have a confession to make: I've been looking at you more than I Ottawa.

Are you a maple tree? â€˜Cause I'd tap that.

We both love hockey, eh? Can I give you a puck?

Unlike the Leafs, I will never let you down.

Will you be the Flin to my Flon?

It's cold out. Why don't you come back to my bed and we can warm up?

Oh I didn't mean to pull you in so close. I thought I heard a rutting bull moose.

Hey your hands would be a lot warmer if they were down the front of my pants?

Damn girl, are you a moose? Cause you make me go *moose noise*

Yukon check out my Klondike any time.

You're like a BC ferry: Everyone wants to get on you.

My feelings for you are Montreal.

I can love you more than a cowboy loves a fat calf.

Sorry, but would you mind if I poutine it in your butt?

I'm actually way hotter than poutin.

Hey baby, my body's like Ontario. Yours to discover.

I won't take no for an answer. I'm having Nunavut.

Let's play hockey, because I'd love to have 2 minutes for holding.

Can your beaver eat my log?

I really want to Cape Enrage your Kouchibouguac.

My girl how you chest plate suh clean like it could a eat outta!

Yuh Sweet lak ah angel, so tell me whah deh Gwan up in nah heaven now? Why Gad send yuh ere?

My girl me wah full up yuh belly like cornmeal dumpling.

Girl if you're Jamaican we would click together coz I'm really into your type, come with me.

Baby, you're the patty to my coco bread.

Baby gi mi yuh number nuh, Mi lost mine?

I think that being a Jamaican is cool, so how about we try the dating pool to see if we're ok?

Baby, yuh look sweet like a ginger candy, me wan unwrap you and taste ya spices.

1

Baby! Gad know seh yuh deh yah? Caw yuh must be a Angel

Beg yuh a Wuk haffa yuh struccha nuh

Gal yuh too sweet, spend some time wid me suh some ah you sweetness rub off pon mi.

Yuh nuh tiad? Caw yuh den run tru mi mind all day

Baby, you're the patty to my coco bread.

You're the Salsa of my Tacos, chequeteta.

1

May I... Take you out for some tamales seÃ±orita?

1

Maya got a nice tan in Mexico, maybe next time Yucatan with me?

1

Let me sauce up your taco meat baby!

1

We can blame it on fajita the moment.

1

Can I beat your pinata?

1

Are you Mexican cause you should make me some burritos.

2

I want to put my burrito in your taco.

2

I want to be PopocatÃ©petl to your IztaccÃhuatl, except your not dead just fucking drunk.

1

Can I dip my Chorizo in your salsa?

3

I love you more than a flour tortilla with beans!

2

Do you like tacos? Well cool you like 75% of me.

3

Your peroxide blonde hair looks good, but I would like to see if you are a true blonde.

Hey baby, why do you think they call it a pick-up truck?

You can't handle the tooth!

Girl you must be my cousin because I wanna do you.

My home is where I park it

God wants us to be together. That's why he gave us the same parents.

3

Wanna find out if my shotgun shell will fit in your double barrel?

3

Well, aren't you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?

Hey baby, wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 10 anyway.

You look good in that lumberjack shirt but I would like to see you out of it.

Hey babe, do you know that my mouth can generate over 3000 rpm?

You are prettier than a beer truck pulling up in the driveway.

Roses are red. Spend the night with me and I'll teach you all kinds of cool scientific stuff like that!

Tell me honey ham, did it hurt when the devil spit you up and you landed here?

You're a better kisser than your Momma and both yer sisters.

3

Hey baby, nice tooth.

I ain't no donkey herder, but I could wrangle that ass.

2

Wanna come back to my place, babe? I'm a thoroughbred.

1

What size boot you wear girl?

Hey girl, do you raise cattle? Cause those are some nice calves.

1

If you was my heifer, I'd done drive you to the meat processing plant.

1

Girl, I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!

1

Let's get trippy together barefoot.

My van's parked outside. Let's say you and I just take a ride down to the beach and check out the stars?

1

Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?

Hello, perhaps I could have someone else buy you a drink?

Do yoga with me as the sun is rising?

If we were trees. We'd be of the same species.

Let's take off each other's clothes... and then run in the fields together.

Wanna go back to my place for a little "fair trade?"

I just love the way you've styled the hair on your legs. Do the cornrows go all the way up?

Damn girl, I hope you have an open mind because I have quite the night planned for us.

Wanna come back to my place to discuss complex interrelated cultural and political trends?

You and me together would be totally groovy baby!

If you join this drum circle you're sure to get a good bang.

That's a nice hammock. Does it fit two?

Hey baby, I've got you two tickets to the gun show...Let's use them to go and protest gun-related violence!

I'm undressing you with my 3rd eye.

My carbon footprint is the only part of me that's small.

Turn on, tune in, drop your pants.

I'd share my bar of soap with you.

If I told you you had a beautiful Prius, would you hold it against me?

I loved you before it was cool.

Seriously baby, I'll take you out as soon as this check clears from my parents.

Hey girl, let's forget the world and start a post-rock band.

1

Hey, my name's Ethel, it's a really vintage name, i doubt you've ever heard it before.

Guy: Hey, do you have any pretentious avant-garde photographer in you? Girl: Um, no. Guy: Want some?

I'm gonna disrupt the shit out of your technology.

Do you want to roll around in my collection of antique buttons and talk about our childhood dreams?

Want to come over and listen to NPR.

Insults - Part 39

The Best Insults

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