Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Hey, I understand you like him, but projection works.
Excuse me, can I sleep with you because I need to make copies?
Baby, all I see in my Rorschach test is me and you.
Baby you're like an independent variable the way you enlarge my bar graph.
If you were a drug you'd be a stimulant because you make my heart beat faster.
Can we recreate the Stanford Prison Experiment? You can be bad cop all you want.
Hey girl can I get your number in my Long Term memory?
Why don't you let me put my myelin on your axon for the night?
You've got spunk. I like that in a man.
Looks like you need some flame in your life.
Hey, you're beautiful. Sit on my face?
Is your name Katniss? Because you're sparking a rebellion in my district.
Are you an angel? Because I wish I was dead and if so, that'd be a great sign.
Girl you're so hot that I would still talk to you even after I'm off the anti-depressant pills I stole from my hospital's pharmacy.
Are you depressed? Because I see you in my future.
Baby, all of your facial parts are in the right spots.
Do you know what this shirt if made of? Woah, I didn't say touch it!
Is your name Siri? Because talking to you is making me feel uncomfortable.
Are you the exit? Because I always want to be near you.
Are you my phone? Because I can't stop staring at you in public.
Are you that weird mole I found? Becasue I don't stop thinking about you.
Are you a termite? Because you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
Just say yes now and I wont have to spike your drink.
It's hard for me to concentrate around you because all the blood from my brain has immediately gone to my penis.
I want to floss with your pubic hair.
I have a van out the back and there is free candy in it.
Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.
If I touch you, do you promise not to call the cops?
My couch pulls out, but I don't
Hi, you'll do just fine!
You're so good lookin' I'd drink your bath water.
I'm kind of new around here... can you show me the way to your apartment/house?
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
Is your Dad in prison? If I were your Dad, I'd be in prison.
If your feeling down, remember, I'll feel you back up
Can you give me directions... to your heart? And kidneys?
Will you run away from me somewhere romantic?
I've got a crawlspace with your name on it.
I have a loaded gun, get in the car.
I bet it hurt when you fell from Heaven? I can help you get there if you'd like?
Baby, I will blow your mind. Literally. With a bat.
Wanna come back to my place and see my itchings?
Your hospice bed or mine?
I've got a tiny blue pill with your name on it.
None of my children lives with me.
Did it hurt when you fell from the sky or have I finally made it to Heaven. If that's the case I didn't feel a thing!
Let's move things to the bedroom. We can use my stairlift.
My hips don't lie...except for the artificial one.
Let's make sweet love in the backseat of my car by the light of the blinking left turn indicator.
Either my pacemaker just shot craps or I'm in love.
Wanna sit on my lap and take a ride on my Hoveround?
You make me want to party like it's 1949!
Hey baby, is that a urinary drainage bag in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?
Baby is your name Cholesterol, because you send my blood pressure skyrocketing!
I'll meet you for dinner. Does noon work?
Can I share your oxygen tank? Because you took my breath away.
I'm retired, so you know I have the time to please you.
Is that your catheter line...or are you just pleased to see me?
Just gotta new hip replacement. How's about you and me take it for spin?
Do I come here often?
I'd walker with you to the ends of the earth.
Where have you been all my life? Because I'm about to die soon.
I'm 80 but I dont feel a day over 79.
My arteries aren't the only things that have hardened.
Do you live in a 100 meters area?
Sit in my lap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up, or until my legs fall asleep.
As long as I have this wheelchair, youll always have a lap to seat on.
How about I take you back to my place where we can get into a heated arguement about social security.
How about you try out your new teeth on my meat.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and broke your hip?
Hey, can I borrow your Hearing Aid? My last girlfriend disappeared without returning mine!
Honey, you're playing with my heart. At least the dial that controls my Pacemaker.
By me a drink and I'll take out my teeth for a good time.
Hey, wanna good time? I bought some great Viagra back from Bali?
Getting lucky usually means finding my car in the parking lot, but tonight you can change that.
How about I take you home and show you my medicine cabinet!
No, I didn't have a stroke; I was actually winking at you.
Do you play bingo? Because I've seen you B4.
My teeth and I no longer sleep together, but you and I definitely should.
Hey, you still breathing?
Is that a Depends under your pants or are you just glad to see me?
I got a bottle of wine and a new pack of Depends in my scooter if you're feelin' frisky.
Is that a new hip or are you just happy to see me?
Hey baby, my boobs are looking right at your penis down there.
My kids are all grown up. We can have the house to ourselves, until I fall asleep around 7, 7:30 pm.
When I look at you, my arteries aren't the only things that harden.
Hey beautiful, they still let me drive. Wanna go for a ride?
I've fallen for you and I can't get up.
Let's get crazy and leave our teeth in tonight.
Wanna try out my new hip?
Let's get a nice drink of prune juice sometime.
Baby, you must be dentures because I need to take you out every night.
You remind me of someone I met during the summer of 1969, those were the best days of my life.
Your Nursing home or mine?
Hey, I just got my new teeth. Want to join me for dinner so I can test them out?
I got a pill I could take back at my place, if you could tell me where my place is.
Girl I'd fake being a blind old man, just to touch you inappropriately.
Do you want to get dinner with me? Must be between 4-4:30.
Why don't you and I share a sunset near the local pharmacy?
