Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
I think you broke the 7th Commandment, because you totally stole my heart!
What's a nice girl/guy like you doing in a confession line like this?
You'll always be the second woman in my life. Our Lady is first.
Excuse me. I forgot to bring my rosary. May I use your fingers?
You must be God's best creation
I think God just answered my discernment about my vocation to a married life.
Are you a penitential season? Cause I'd give up anything for you.
I know a few good spiritual exercises we could do back at my place.
Hi, I'm Advent. You must be Christmas, cause I've been waiting for you for what feels like forever...
My Guardian Angel thinks you're cute.
I know what you can give up for Lent... your number... to me.
I wasn't sure of my vocation until you walked into the room.
Hey. My name is Will... God's will.
Are you the sacrament of Confirmation? Cause you complete me.
Are you Matt Maher? Because Lord, I need you.
Hey boy are you a vocation? Because I can't quite discern you and you're really confusing.
You're as lovely as a rose, you must be my answer to the novena I was praying to St. Therese.
You've got stunning scapular-brown eyes.
Do you have a name, or do angels just have pretty faces?
My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that's his name.
Can I hold your palm for Palm Sunday?
What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a bible study?
Confess here often?
I forgot my rosary, can I use your hand?
I've been reading Joshua, but how many times do I need to walk around you before you fall for me?
I'm doing my Marian consecration this year. Next year, I'd like to be Marian you.
I'm, you're. Let's look no more.
Are you Saint Anthony, because you found my heart?
I think God is calling me to the vocation of married life, will you help me out?
You're my eucatastrophe.
Hey girl is your name Mary? Because you're immaculate.
Not to judge, but you should probably go to Confession for stealing my heart.
Hey darling, you make ordinary time extraordinary.
What's a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?
You know, it's kind of noisy in here... the adoration chapel down the street is a pretty quiet place.
Hey girl, I know when Septuagesima starts.
You smell better than incense!
I know the Holy Family has set the bar pretty high, but I am willing to strive for that kind of Holiness in a family if you are?
My Sacred Heart scapular started beating faster when I saw you.
Would you believe if I said I'm God because I see a beautiful masterpiece right before my very eyes.
Will you be the Laila to my Majnu?
You know, our parents engaged us when we were little… I guess they forgot to tell you.
You're like chutney… you spice up my life!
Our kundalis are a perfect match!
Baby we go together like daal and bhaat.
Hey there that's a nice cast you got there.
Baby, you're hotter then garaam garaam chai.
Hey girl, I know you already got an atman, but I could be your it-man.
Hey girl! I am from your caste but different gotra.
Your ammi must have eaten a lot of curry while she was pregnant with you, because you're sizzling hot!
If you are Shiva's bow, I'm your Shri Rama. I'm gonna break you, baby!
Are you wearing a sari? Well, you won't be sari if you go out with me.
Are you heading to India? ‘Cause I'd Goa anywhere with you!
You're so fine, I bet YOU reject rickshaw-wallahs.
I'll have my mum send a rishta to yours.
Until this moment, I never understood how Joseph smith felt during his angelic visits.
Hi, my wife says we need you to be a celestial family.
What's a celestial girl like you doing in a telestial place like this?
What's your favorite temple? Because you're mine.
If you show me your Urim, I'll show you my Thummim.
Hey babe, what's your PB lineage?
If you get lost in the midst of darkness I'll help you find the iron rod.
Are those real boobs, or are you wearing Nephi's breast plate?
Could you stand still so I can sweep you off your feet?
Your church gave a lecture on Mormonism? Please do tell me what i believe.
You look like you were born of goodly parents.
My body's a temple, and you have a recommend.
My love for you is like shiz's last breath, I just can't hold it in!
I'll read your patriarchal blessing, if you read mine.
Can you bring your feelings for me to church Tuesday night? Because im pretty sure the feelings mutual!
If I was Nephi you would be Laban. I wouldn't kill you but I would still take your clothes.
How about dinner? I fix a great pan seared Curelom with orange juice and sprite reduction sauce.
I need the Liahonia because I am lost in your eyes.
You must be a Jaredite, because you are tight like unto a dish.
You must be the promised land, because my liahona is pointed right at you.
I'll let you see my temple recommend if you let me see yours
I was reading in the book the Numbers, and then I realized that I don't have yours.
If you start to feel off balance, just hold tight to the rod.
What is your favorite Temple? I'm looking at mine.
Are you Virtue? Because you've been garnishing my thoughts unceasingly.
You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
You know, I'm really grateful for Martin Harris. Without him there'd be another 113 pages between us.
If I received inspiration my whole life, like I did just now seeing you, I would be so inspired as to be the greatest prophet ever.
If me and you made a garden, Would you plant your tulips next to mine?
I do not believe in predestination until tonight.
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at angel Moroni!
Does your Dad wear a baker's hat? Because you've got a nice set of buns.
Is the Spirit telling you the same thing it's telling me?
Are those kolob pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world!
You remind me of the fruit in Lehi's dream. Precious above all others.
A date with me is a temple and you have a recommend.
Did you go to EFY? Because I am Especially For You.
What do you and hell have in common? You're both Hot!
The only thing standing between you and me is my priesthood; if you know what I mean.
The fruit of the tree of life called. It wants its sweetness back.
Hey Girl! You are more beautiful than temple square in December.
No, I'm not coveting. I intend to make you mine.
The tree of life is called , wants its sweetness behind.
I love to see the temple. I'll (You'll) take you (me) there someday.
Good, I can break my fast… Because I see the answer to my prayers.
