Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
You know, our parents engaged us when we were little… I guess they forgot to tell you.
You're like chutney… you spice up my life!
Our kundalis are a perfect match!
Baby we go together like daal and bhaat.
Hey there that's a nice cast you got there.
Baby, you're hotter then garaam garaam chai.
Hey girl, I know you already got an atman, but I could be your it-man.
Hey girl! I am from your caste but different gotra.
Your ammi must have eaten a lot of curry while she was pregnant with you, because you're sizzling hot!
If you are Shiva's bow, I'm your Shri Rama. I'm gonna break you, baby!
Are you wearing a sari? Well, you won't be sari if you go out with me.
Are you heading to India? ‘Cause I'd Goa anywhere with you!
You're so fine, I bet YOU reject rickshaw-wallahs.
I'll have my mum send a rishta to yours.
Until this moment, I never understood how Joseph smith felt during his angelic visits.
Hi, my wife says we need you to be a celestial family.
What's a celestial girl like you doing in a telestial place like this?
What's your favorite temple? Because you're mine.
If you show me your Urim, I'll show you my Thummim.
Hey babe, what's your PB lineage?
If you get lost in the midst of darkness I'll help you find the iron rod.
Are those real boobs, or are you wearing Nephi's breast plate?
Could you stand still so I can sweep you off your feet?
Your church gave a lecture on Mormonism? Please do tell me what i believe.
You look like you were born of goodly parents.
My body's a temple, and you have a recommend.
My love for you is like shiz's last breath, I just can't hold it in!
I'll read your patriarchal blessing, if you read mine.
Can you bring your feelings for me to church Tuesday night? Because im pretty sure the feelings mutual!
If I was Nephi you would be Laban. I wouldn't kill you but I would still take your clothes.
How about dinner? I fix a great pan seared Curelom with orange juice and sprite reduction sauce.
I need the Liahonia because I am lost in your eyes.
You must be a Jaredite, because you are tight like unto a dish.
You must be the promised land, because my liahona is pointed right at you.
I'll let you see my temple recommend if you let me see yours
I was reading in the book the Numbers, and then I realized that I don't have yours.
If you start to feel off balance, just hold tight to the rod.
What is your favorite Temple? I'm looking at mine.
Are you Virtue? Because you've been garnishing my thoughts unceasingly.
You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
You know, I'm really grateful for Martin Harris. Without him there'd be another 113 pages between us.
If I received inspiration my whole life, like I did just now seeing you, I would be so inspired as to be the greatest prophet ever.
If me and you made a garden, Would you plant your tulips next to mine?
I do not believe in predestination until tonight.
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at angel Moroni!
Does your Dad wear a baker's hat? Because you've got a nice set of buns.
Is the Spirit telling you the same thing it's telling me?
Are those kolob pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world!
You remind me of the fruit in Lehi's dream. Precious above all others.
A date with me is a temple and you have a recommend.
Did you go to EFY? Because I am Especially For You.
What do you and hell have in common? You're both Hot!
The only thing standing between you and me is my priesthood; if you know what I mean.
The fruit of the tree of life called. It wants its sweetness back.
Hey Girl! You are more beautiful than temple square in December.
No, I'm not coveting. I intend to make you mine.
The tree of life is called , wants its sweetness behind.
I love to see the temple. I'll (You'll) take you (me) there someday.
Good, I can break my fast… Because I see the answer to my prayers.
If I was Nephi...I would go and do you.
Just like the first book of Nephi I keep coming back to you.
Not even the veil could make me forget you!
If Eve was tempted by an apple that has to be my fruit.
Hi, I'm new in town and I was wondering if you could give me directions to your heart.
If you were a cereal, you'd be Lucky Charms because you're magically delicious!
Are you hot, or is it just the spirit burning in you?
You remind me of my three other wives.
Wanna hold the priesthood?
Are you the spirit? Because whenever I think about you I feel a burning in my bosom.
Can I buy you a cup of Postum?
An angel said he would destroy me if I did not sleep with you.
We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth.
You look nearly 22. Most Mormons are 2-3 years into marriage by now – just settle for me!
What's your favorite temple? Mine is yours.
I can't think of anyone else I'd rather survive Armeggedon with.
I'd like to have her on my post.
How'd you like to pick up these cans?
I have $100,000 burning a hole in my pocket, would you like to reg me?
Congratulations, you've gone Clear... to my heart!
Wanna go up my Bridge to Total Pleasure?
Would you like to ride my face to total freedom?
Want to help me get my stats up?
Wanna MEST around?
Let's co-audit on OT LXIX.
You're sweating because of those extra Body Thetans. Want to slip into something more comfortable?
There's an incident in my pants, and you're invited.
I want to put my intention in you.
What's a pretty girl like you doing on a prison planet like this?
Whenever I see you, my tone arm rises!
I'm bad luck. Why don't you pull me in?
My org needs a touch assist.
How about you hold my can while I audit your body thetans?
I've been waiting 75 million years to see a meat body like yours.
Hey babe, I'd like to you feel my postulate.
That's a nice-looking yarmulke you're wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning.
If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?
Are you the massiah, beacuse I've been waiting for you
On Yom Kippur, the Mishnah prohibits marital relations. Thank God we're not married!
