Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
The World's Sexiest Vegetarian is looking for models, can I submit your picture?
Wanna come up and see my Vitamix?
Wanna go to the grocery store and read labels?
What's your favorite thing to do with agave nectar?
Ya wanna mix vitamins?
Your organic shirt looks great on you, can I touch it?
Boy if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber.
Forget the vegan jerky; I'll do some primal stripping for you any day.
Hey baby, wanna come over and scramble my tofu?
Hey, babe, how about some of this late summer veggie gazpacho?
How vegan are you again? oh I can be advised about nutrition for hours.
I've been looking for a seitan worshipper like you my whole life.
I've heard that I taste like nooch--wanna confirm?
Meat is murder, but meat's gonna make you scream.
Sure I could buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the glass.
Hey! You owe me a drink. I dropped mine when you walked by.
I see you've got some tequila's. Does that mean you wanna give me a shot?
I think all the bottles in this bar must be jealous, cause your beauty is the most intoxicating thing in this place.
What do you say I buy the booze and you show me how to shake it.
What do you say we get out of here? I bet you're way better to wake up next to than a hangover.
I'm letting girls take body shots off my amazing torso for 5 euro's. How many can I count you in for?
In medieval times my beer belly would be a sign of prosperity and attractiveness, what do you think?
Look I'm just trying to drink here, but you're very distracting.
Most men/women are intimidated by me. It's okay, you don't have to be scared to buy me a drink.
I couldn't help noticing you're drinking the same as me. Are you trying to copy me?
When you're done with that beer shall we play spinn the bottle?
Are you going to finish that? (pointing at her/his drink)
Excuse me. I am not sure if you're aware but i'm extremely attractive.
Excuse me. My friend here and I are debating about which of these (drinks) is better. What do you think?
Have you tried the (drink) here? It's terrific!
Hi there, are you drinking a beer? Would like to join me in a game of pool?
Hi there, are you drinking a mixed drink? Mind if I join you.
Hi there, is that a tequila shot? Let's take the party back to my room.
I'm fine with being just friends, as long as I can seduce you when we're drunk.
I'm not Irish, but I play drunk very well!
Let's get drunk and tell each other everything we're too afraid to say sober.
Mind if I get drunk with you?
You're not drunk until you make out with me.
I like my tea like I like my men, sweet as hell.
I like my tea like I like my men, hot and comforting.
Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hottie!
Do you have a tea bag in your pocket because I can see me in your pants.
Wow, two teaspoons? Lucky for you, I'm a pretty good spooner myself.
You're such a TEAse.
You are the hollandaise to my poached egg.
I don't want to sound corny, but I think you're a-maize-ing.
I know we've just met, but will you marinade me?
How about we skip the hors d'oeuvres and head straight for the digestif?
I'll put the special in your sauce.
If you were my sauce pan, I'd never deglaze you.
Is it hot in here? Is it the salamander, the grill, and the 18 burners? or is it you?
Wanna see my meat walk-in?
Are you Gordon Ramsay? because I can make you scream.
Wanna gonna come by the restaurant and check out my biscuits?
You're so sweet, i just want you for dessert.
Looks like you need a little extra seasoning in your life. I got the right kinds of salt.
You're so hot I just burnt the roof of my mouth!
You're so hot I'd eat a durian to be with you!
Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, I'm asking for only one.
Even if it tastes bad, don't insult the chef. Just swallow.
How about I put my meat in your grill?
Even my new stainless steel cookware set isn't as slick as you!
You're my missing ingredient.
Is your name fajita? 'Cuz you're sizzling!
I'm a slowly braised hunk of meat; a tender, succulent animal!
Hey baby, need me to spice up your life?
Is your name Julianne? Because you're fineee!
Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock.
Care to come back to my place and kick it up a notch?
Hey, weren't you in my 'Introduction to Melons' class?
I'd love to show you my root garden.
Do you like potatoes? I've got the gravy...let's go give thanks!
You are the fond on the roasting pan of life.
Your name must be Jelly... 'cuz jam don't shake like that.
Will you let me be the avocado in your turkey sandwich?
Are you into salads? Because I think I'm falling in lovage.
I'm a locavore... I got all I need right in front of me.
I can last longer than cast iron.
You're spicier than Sriracha.
You're spicier than a ghost pepper.
Let's pretend you're a farm and I'll be the table.
You make my highly sensitive palate water.
How 'bout I cook dinner, and eat you for dessert?
At yeast you're in my thoughts, all the time.
Do you know where the pasta is? I'm feeling a little saucy.
I always hand whip my cream.
Do you believe in love at first bite or should I add more cheese?
Are you a crawfish? Cuz I want to tear you in half and suck out your brains.
Are you sriracha? Because you are HOT!
Are you Vietnamese noodle soup? Because you look so pho-kable.
I might not be a Doritos Locos Taco but, I sure will spice up your night.
I may not be Sriracha sauce, but I sure will spice up your life.
Care to share some oysters and wine with me?
Are you an essay? Because you got me hooked and now I want your breadcrumbs.
Do you make tacos? Cuz I really want some of that lengua.
Do you want to get a beavertail and get outta here.
Even ice cream melts in my hand, why don't you?
Have you ever seen a guy eat an entire can of pinto beans in under 10 seconds? Would you like to?
Hey do you want to make like a banana and split... The check.
This food isn't the only thing I'll be eating tonight.
