Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Hey is your name Vincent? Because I really need your Kompany.
Are you Godin? Because you look like you're about to score.
Hey, girl. I bet I can get you excited without even using my hands.
Are you Ibrahimovic? Because I think I nose you.
Is your name Arjen? Because you're Robben my heart.
Are you Arsenal? Cause you make me anna shoot my gun.
I can sweep you off your feet.
Are you Garreth Bale? Because you make me go bananas.
Hey, did ya know I'm part of a soccer team? (Really?) Yeah, hopefully I score tonight.
Don't Worry, Baby, I Won't Bite (Luis Suarez)
I like to practice some of my penalty kicks with you.
Wanna see my world cup in action?
Are you Messi? Because your touch is priceless.
Baby I'd love too get a jump ball with you, my possession arrow would always point your way!
Should I take it to the hole or take it to the rack?
You can drop your ball into my hoop anytime.
If I were a basketball player I'd be Shaquille O'Feel
You must be known for you defense cause you definitely stole my heart.
Handle me like you handle that ball.
Your Jordan jersey looks nice, but I bet it'd look even nicer on my bedroom floor.
You're coming at me fast, but I'd take a charge for you.
Can I dribble through your legs?
I love the way you handle the ball! Will you come lay up on me?
I'll let you foul play on me.
I've never made an incomplete pass, and I hope you won't be my first.
I'm Zam. How would you like a Zamboni ride?
I said, Would you like a PUCK?
If I can't score, can I at least get an assist?
Life is better when we stick together.
I'd let you score on my 5-hole.
My other stick curves to the right
Gretzky isn't the only great one.
Let me show you that I'm good for more than just a one-timer
If you were a puck I'd never shoot. I'd always miss you.
Look, my teeth spell out 'I love you' in block letters!
I bet my stick would feel great in your crease.
You should see what I can do with ice.
You heard right: I only take off this mask for two things.
Nice skates...wanna puck?
Let's play hockey. I'll be the net, and you can score.
Wanna puck?
Do you play hockey? 'Cause I wouldn't mind poke-checking you.
Lemme get a few slapshots on your bum.
I may be toothless, sweaty, and all black and blue, but I make a mean quiche Loraine.
Hi my name's Stanley, wanna see my cup?
You had my heart racing from the moment I saw you running.
I just met you, and this is crazy but here's my bib number...pace me maybe?
Do you run track? Cause I relay like you!
Since distance=velocity x time, let's let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to run all the way with you.
Do you run track? Cause I relay wanna take you on a date.
You run faster than my nose in allergy season.
Is it allergy season? Because you run faster than my nose.
When you passed me, I felt like running faster but following you from behind was inspirational enough.
Do you run track? Because you are running laps around my heart.
Don't worry about slipping on the ice during this run, I'll be there to catch you.
I'd run three miles just to be with you.
Is that a Clif Bar in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Let me tie your running shoes, because I don't want you falling for anyone else.
Hey baby, your pace or mine?
Your PR isn't the only number I want.
You must be a triathlon, because you take my breath away.
Is your name Charity? Because my heart is racing for you.
I‘m no photographer, but I can picture us running together.
Are we doing high altitude training because you just took my breath away!
Your stride is enviable. Are you a runner?
Hey I love your shoes. You know they would look even better if they were running alongside me.
My name is garmin, will you take me running everyday?
I just want to run on the trail that leads to you.
I'd love to go up and down with you, fancy a hill rep session?
When it comes to love, I am in it for the long run.
I was looking for a running buddy... for the rest of my life.
So is this your first 5k?
Do you like speed work? 'Cause I'm always down for a quickie.
Did you get lost on your run? Because heaven is a long way from here.
I like the way your spikes match your shoes.
Hey baby, you have a great stride.
You must be a runner because you totally have runner's calves.
Wanna find out what the real fourth event of triathlon is?
Are you a dive set? Because you leave my knees weak.
I'm not sure if it's the 200 butterfly or you that just took my breath away.
Hey girl, on a scale of one to Laremy Tunsil, how available are you?
Do you play football? Because you've got a tight end.
Does the sleeve match the shoes?
You're looking like a tennis ball. I just wanna hit it.
You smell nicer than a new can of tennis balls.
I'll restring your racket...if you restring mine.
Baby you can ride the Tennis Express all night.
I like the way you move on the court.
Hey girl, I can SMASH a forehand like no other.
Are you Roger Federer's ground strokes? Cause baby you're so elegant.
I couldn't help but notice that we have the same stride tempo. We should totally stride together.
Do you have any tape? Because I'm totally ripped.
How about the Jacuzzi after our work out?
Can you teach me how to use this machine?
Lift and chill?
Excuse me miss, do you need a chest spot?
Baby you light up the court, the way that you serve that ball got me overwhelmed.
You are in a constant state of becoming. Then again, if I looked like you I'd constantly be coming too.
Maybe you can give me a private lesson sometime?
So I couldn't help but notice our breathing patterns were really in sync today.
