Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Is your name paprika? Cause you spice up my life!
How about I check your internal temperature with my meat thermometer?
I believe in eating all organic.
I have a bunch of Klondike bars back at my place.
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
I know we barely know each other, but pasta and love are best al dente.
I love french fries but I love you more.
I like my women like I like my soup: Hot, Creamy, and no stranger to spooning.
I ran out of my pickled summer garden vegetables. Can I have some of yours?
I relish the idea of spending time with you. We should ketchup sometime.
I wanna be like waffles with you and wake up on top of each other.
If i was a potato, would you be my cheesy?
If you were a dessert, I would drizzle a balsamic reduction all over you.
If you were a food, you'd be bacon, because you're fat.
Is that a banana in my pocket? Cause damn! I'm hungry.
Is your name Halva? Cause you taste so sweet.
I'd love to dig into a plate of you...
I'd love to taste those spicy meatballs of yours.
Mmm girl! You're so sweet I'm gonna get diabetes!
My love for you is infinite, like the number of seeds on a strawberry.
We go together like a burger and fries.
We should pear up!
You can scramble my eggs anytime!
You look like delicious bowl of ice cream, I just gotta spoon you.
You must be corn syrup chase you're really sweet.
You remind me of spicy food, because you're making me sweat while my heart burns.
You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!
Since you are on your feet all day, I figured you'd like to go lay down with me when you are done?
You'd be the perfect woman, even if your hair didn't smell like French fries.
I can serve you more than just food.
Let me show you my daily special.
My burger was great, but you are rare and well-done at the same time.
So when's your next night off?
You'd still be pretty even if your hair didn't smell like fried goodness.
I ordered the skate so you'd think I was sophisticated and healthy. Now I'm still hungry. Pizza burgers when your shift ends?
Don't worry, I'm 100% organic and locally grown.
I'd love to get into your plants!
I left my watering can at home but I can still make it grow.
There's something so organic to the way you use your hands.
You're rosebush or mine?
Want to cross pollinate?
If I were your gardener I'd put your Tulips and My Tulips together
You're so sexy you make me want to flower.
If I were a gardener, You'd be my hoe.
You're like a sweet honeybee stinging my heart.
Will you let me water your bushes?
Is that a stalk of chard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I see you're putting some flowers down in your new garden... how about you come plant one of them on me?
You could plant some seeds in my back garden!
How juicy are your pumelos?
Your heirloom tomatoes are the juiciest I have ever tasted.
You must be a garden, cause I'm digging you.
How about you and me turnip in your bed?
I can suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose.
How long has it been since you mowed your lawn?
Girl, you smell like straight up lavender. A whole field of them.
I like my men like I like my compost, dark and rich.
I dig you more than a shovel digs up plants.
Hate to see you go, but I love to watch your leaves!
I want to plant my Dogwood right in between your two big Hibiscus.
How big does your squash grow?
I'd like to make you my backyard bounty.
Did I ever tell you, you smell like a freshly cut lawn?
I've got an apple tree In my backyard. I'd catch them like I'd catch you.
You smell as good as a bundle of lavender.
What do you say we get out of here and free range somewhere green?
These mason jars fit perfectly in my hand. I bet you would too.
Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Tulips are cute, can I have your number?
Is your name Daisy cause I wanna plant you right here!
If me and you made a garden, would you plant your tulips next to mine?
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
I like getting my hands dirty in any kind of organic garden.
What book would you recommend to help me sweep you off your feet?
It's a shame you can't eat in the library, because I'm hungry for you.
I hope you're not in the restricted section, because I'd love to take you out.
Excuse me miss, can I pay for your printing?
Care to come back to my place for a little Dickens?
I hope you don't have a roommate, because tonight, I want to make a lot of The Sound and the Fury with you.
I'll dewy decimal system your shelves any day.
Call me William S. Burroughs, because I want to Naked Lunch with you.
You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!
If you were a library book, I'd never bring you back.
If this were a library you'd be the only book I'd check out.
Can get your reference number?
Hey baby, can I put you on reserve?
Do you have any books on being in love with me?
As a librarian, I can confirm that this line does indeed work.
I can also read something else besides books, your heart.
Are you reading Fahrenheit 451? Because damn, you're smoking.
Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play librarian.
Libraries should allow food in the building, because right now I could just eat you up.
Meet me in the Romance section let's make Romeo & Juliet jealous.
Call me Big Brother, because I've been watching you all night.
You've put a hold...on my heart.
Can you tell me where I can find books on overcoming a deeply passionate love I have for a librarian?
It would be both a Crime and Punishment if you don't let me take you out.
I'll meet you in the fantasy section.
I hope you're a long-term loan, because I never want to give you back.
What do you look for in a man/woman — other than literacy skills?
What do you say we get out of here and find A Room of One's Own?
