Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you a mirror? Because I can't stand the sight of you.
Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm not feeling any connection here.
Are you a dictionary? Because you're full of useless words and nobody cares.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again and remind you how repulsive you are?
Is your dad a photographer? Because he must have taken a million shots to get one that ugly.
Is your mom a bear? Because you're as unbearable as she is.
Are you a shooting star? Because I wish you would disappear forever.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I'm gonna need one after gouging my eyes out from looking at you.
Is your dad a scientist? Because you're a failed experiment.
Are you a garbage can? Because I want to dump all my regrets and disappointments on you.
Do you have a name or can I call you disappointment?
Is your mom a drug dealer? Because you seem like a bad trip waiting to happen.
Are you a landfill? Because you're full of trash and nobody wants to be near you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again and vomit?
Is your dad a clown? Because your existence is a joke without a punchline.
Are you a nightmare? Because I can't wake up from the horror of being near you.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can't stand the reflection of your hideous face.
Is your mom a vampire? Because I can't find any trace of life or beauty in you.
Are you a fungus? Because you're growing on me and it's making me sick.
Do you have a name or can I just call you regret?
Are you a sewer? Because you're a cesspool of filth and nobody wants to be near you.
Is your mom a witch? Because your presence is a curse upon my soul.
Are you a disease? Because being near you feels like a slow and painful death.
Do you have a mirror? Because I need something to shatter to escape the horror of your presence.
Is your dad a monster? Because you're a terrifying creature that haunts my nightmares.
Are you a black hole? Because you suck the joy and happiness out of every room you enter.
Are you a fisherman because I think you're a reel catch.
Are you farm raised or do you have to be wild caught?
Aren't you a catch!
Babe, are you a master baiter? Because this fish is yours tonight.
Babe, it's time to get out of this fishbowl and see the real world with me.
Babe, tonight I will be your biggest catch.
Baby, I love the way your caudal moves.
You must be a fish, because I'm hooked on you.
I wouldn't mind getting tangled up in your line.
Do you come here often? Because I'm hooked on this spot!
Are you a fisherman? Because you just reeled me in!
I'm so hooked on you that I'll even bait my own hook.
Want to see my tackle box? It has everything to make you bite.
Do you mind if I cast my line in your direction?
Let's catch something together, I'll bring the bait and you bring the charm.
You're like a fish, I don't want to let you go once I catch you.
I haven't measured you yet, but you look like a keeper!
You've the hook, line, and sinker. I am yours forever.
Damn, you're like an award-winning bass. I dunno whether to mount you or eat you.
You know I'm da man you been wading for.
Hey baby, you wanna cast a line with me?
Hey baby, if I were a fish, I'd be hooked on you.
I'm all about that bass.
I've called heaven and told them they must be missing an angel fish.
Have u ever been fishing before? I think we should hook up!
Can I fish in your pond?
Are you Swedish? ‘Cause you the sweetest fish I sea.
Hey girl, tuna round and let me see that bass.
The rod's not that big, but I sure know how to wiggle the worm.
Nice bobbers!
You can look through my tackle box.
You wanna get out of this fishbowl?
I have a lucky pole.
Are you a wire? Because I'm getting entangled in your love.
Is your dad an electrician? Because you're sparking joy in my life.
Are you an electrical socket? Because I want to plug into your heart.
Do you have a power source? Because I feel a strong connection with you.
Is your mom a light bulb? Because you light up my world.
Are you a transformer? Because you make my heart change frequency.
Do you have a switch? Because you turned on my feelings.
Are you an electric current? Because you're flowing through my veins.
Do you have a resistance? Because my heart can't resist you.
Is your dad a power station? Because you're generating a lot of attraction.
Do you have a ground wire? Because you're keeping me grounded.
Do you come with a ground fault interrupter? Because you're shocking.
Are you a power surge? Because you're overwhelming.
Do you have a circuit breaker? Because you just turned me on.
Are you a power strip? Because you have multiple outlets of attraction.
Can I take you out for dinner? Because I can't resist your spark.
If you were a light switch, I'd never turn you off.
Do you know what my favorite type of wire is? The one that connects me to you.
Is your name Watt? Because you're looking pretty electric.
Are you a circuit breaker? Because you're tripping me up!
I'm a little shocked by how attracted I am to you.
You're like a switch, turning me on every time I'm near you.
I feel like we're in perfect resonance because we're tuned to each other's frequency.
Can I be your ground? Because I'm feeling really connected to you.
I can give you a jolt of pleasure that you won't forget.
I'm really good at turning things on, want me to prove it?
Are you a quarterback? Because you just made my heart go long.
Are you a wide receiver? Because you've caught my attention.
Are you a running back? Because you've been running through my mind all day.
Are you a coach? Because you just made my heart call a timeout.
Are you a referee? Because you've got me seeing yellow flags.
Are you a punt returner? Because you've got me wanting to kick it deep.
Are you a tight end? Because you've got me all wrapped up in you.
Are you a defensive lineman? Because you just sacked my heart.
Are you a football? Because I can't seem to keep my hands off you.
Are you a goalpost? Because I'm ready to score.
Are you a running play? Because I want to hold on to you forever.
Are you a linebacker? Because you tackle my heart.
Are you a safety? Because I'd give you my helmet anytime.
Are you a field goal? Because you're worth three points in my book.
Are you a touchdown dance? Because you've got me grooving.
