Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Can I share your oxygen tank? Because you took my breath away.
Wanna play hide the Koala?
I'm retired, so you know I have the time to please you.
Would you like to come home with me and pet my kangaroo?
You're like high-quality wiring—durable and reliable in every way.
You must be a master chef because you just spiced up my life.
You're like honey from the hive—pure, golden, and irresistibly sweet.
Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.
Ever done it in a Craftmatic adjustable bed?
Your smile looks nice, but it would look better in a glass on my nightstand.
Excuse me, do you have a signature drink? Or is that just your signature charm?
Waiter, you have an aged, dry white? Something to complement the little lady here.
Did you fall from heaven and you can't get up?
Is that a catheter in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I must not have alzheimer's today because I remember how cute you are!
So, what was your name again?
You must be an extension cord, because I want to stay connected to you forever.
Your name must be Alzheimer, because the Kaiser stole my pudding...
Are you low voltage? Because even your softest touch electrifies me.
Is that a shattered hip, or are you just happy to see me?
