Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I've got a crawlspace with your name on it.
I have a loaded gun, get in the car.
I bet it hurt when you fell from Heaven? I can help you get there if you'd like?
Baby, I will blow your mind. Literally. With a bat.
Wanna come back to my place and see my itchings?
Your hospice bed or mine?
I've got a tiny blue pill with your name on it.
None of my children lives with me.
Did it hurt when you fell from the sky or have I finally made it to Heaven. If that's the case I didn't feel a thing!
Let's move things to the bedroom. We can use my stairlift.
My hips don't lie...except for the artificial one.
Let's make sweet love in the backseat of my car by the light of the blinking left turn indicator.
Either my pacemaker just shot craps or I'm in love.
Wanna sit on my lap and take a ride on my Hoveround?
You make me want to party like it's 1949!
Hey baby, is that a urinary drainage bag in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?
Baby is your name Cholesterol, because you send my blood pressure skyrocketing!
I'll meet you for dinner. Does noon work?
Can I share your oxygen tank? Because you took my breath away.
I'm retired, so you know I have the time to please you.
