Short & Funny Jokes

Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.

Top Funny Short Jokes

I'm not saying she's fat. But if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know. She'd be three of them.
Can I follow you? Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams
Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience.
How do you seduce a fat woman? Piece of cake.
Doctor: You're overweight. Patient: I think I want a second opinion. Doctor: You're also ugly.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too.
I heard you’re good in algebra, can you replace my X without asking Y
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche? -- The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? -- Damn
How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Why can't an idiot dial 911? -- He can't find the 11 on the phone!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

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