Short & Funny Jokes

Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.

Top Funny Short Jokes

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job.
I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was missing!
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, even the diaper bag. But all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time! I think I've forgotten this before?
I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
Fat people are harder to kidnap.
Irish saying - There are only three kinds of men who don't understand women: young men, old men, and middle aged men.
I pretend to work here, they pretend to pay me.
Want to look thinner? Hang out with fat people.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
If brain cells had value, you'd be broke.
Is Your Dad A Preacher? Cause Girl You’re A Blessing
Have you ever smelled mothballs? How did you get his little legs apart?
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it!
How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her.
Your IQ is roughly around room temperature.
Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.

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