Short & Funny Jokes

Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.

Top Funny Short Jokes

Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing that today is Tuesday.
Where do horses go shopping? Old-neighvy
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
Do you know why you are supposed to bury a politician 100 feet down? Because deep down they are really good people.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how everything works.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? -- The taste!
Is your name Ariel? Cause we Mermaid for each other!
What did the big bucket say to the little bucket? -- You look a little pail!
For Christmas, I want Santa's list of naughty girls.
If you don't work you don't have money to live, if you work, there's no time to live.
A healthy nap not only makes you feel better, it also shortens the workday.
Only in American will you see "poor" fat people.
I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there is no better place than to be here with you.
Irish diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way they'll look forward to the trip.
Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back.
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.

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