Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
Q. What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A. Beer in each hand!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? -- Because he felt crummy!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
Tomorrow there'll only be 7 planets left cuz tonight...I'm destroying Uranus.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
How long have I been working for the company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.
Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.
The waves won't be the only thing you'll be riding today.
Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing that today is Tuesday.
Where do horses go shopping? Old-neighvy
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
I’m willing to lower my standards if you’re going on a date with me.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
Is your name Ariel? Cause we Mermaid for each other!
Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
