Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Can I curl up in your arms and let the beat of your heart soothe me to sleep? Because that sounds absolutely lovely.
What did the big bucket say to the little bucket? -- You look a little pail!
Roses are red, I have a crush, whenever I’m around you, all I do is blush
Only in American will you see "poor" fat people.
I like my men like I like my coffee....I don't like coffee.
Are you related to David Beckham? Because you got those curves!
What kind of horses go out after dusk? -- Nightmares!
Excuse me, but do you like whales? Because I was thinking that we could "humpback" at my place.
If we knew what we were doing it wouldn't be called research.
A healthy nap not only makes you feel better, it also shortens the workday.
Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support it for a lifetime..
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Lets play war, I'll lay down, and you blow the hell outta me.
I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.
I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it.
Is your name Oliver? Cause in a minute you're gonna be Oliver this dick.
I'm like Arsenal: I'll stay on top but I'll finish second.
Of course I'll give you a hand, right across the mouth.
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? --
Shine a light into her ear.
Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back.
