Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Let me be your nebula so you can be my baby star.
Hey beautiful! Your face is like a moon. Always glowing.
Baby are you a personal pizza? Because you were made just for me.
If you're my client, I'll get you off. If you aren't, the offer still stands.
I love you beyond a reasonable doubt.
Are you a pizza box? because I can't wait to get your top off.
Can I take your temperature? You're looking hot today.
How're things looking in your books, got any room for some date-a entry?
Would you like to see my whopper?
If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?
The only greater landmass than the continent of Asia is the mass contained in these arms [flex arms, raise one eyebrow].
There are five oceans, seven continents, and only one person like you!
If I were a fish, I'd be hooked on you.
Hey baby, Can you please hold my rod?
Mami are ju a man, cause you can be the Juan.
Don't feel bad about going 5 under the speed limit, I wouldn't want to damage you going too fast either.
If intervening was an olympic sport, he'd win the gold meddle.
If I am afraid of losing my fat tissue. My psychiatrist told me I have an adipose complex.
Your car's reliability is non-existent, a ticking time bomb of mechanical failures waiting to ruin your day.
The mere sight of your car is an insult to the very concept of automotive design, a middle finger to aesthetics.
I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.
You have a face that could make a train take a dirt road.
I've seen roadkill that's more visually appealing than your sorry excuse for a face.
Your face could make a haunted house seem like a pleasant vacation spot.
Your appearance is so repulsive, it could curdle milk from a hundred yards away.
Your face looks like it was designed by Picasso during a drunken stupor.
Your face is so hideous, it could make a blind person weep in agony.
The sheer sight of you is enough to make innocent bystanders lose their appetite and question the cruelty of the universe.
When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed.
Are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you're making me drool.
The smoker always listened to his favorite Rap artist on his smoke breaks. He was a Tupac a day man.
I wanna flush your pipes, baby.
I practice debating in the mirror but I always come across as one-sided and two-faced.
Is that my golf bag in your pants because I just finished a long drive and I'd like to put my wood in it?
You're getting a long one tonight, and I'm not talking about the Home Run Derby!
They say to bat me 2nd because I'm a good 2-hole hitter.
Are you Casillas? Because you look like a keeper.
Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score.
You're Hotter Than the 2022 World Cup in Qatar
He knew his lot in life was to create the world's greatest mosquito repellant. He had a deet with destiny.
There was a report of shots fired in a local bar. The police don't know what triggered the commotion.
Up for a quickie? I can finish with one touch.
Does the goal still count if you just tip it in?
you must be augmented cause my love for you just won't diminish!
You know, musicians have great rhythm.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
You know I liked you before anybody else even knew who you were.
Are you a swim bag? Because you got everything I need.
Are you the 100 breast? Cause baby you make my knees weak.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
My name's Pittsburgh, but you can just call me Mr. Steeler ya girl.
Do you want to check out my home quarter?
I want you as bad as I want to win Wimbledon!
If I court you, will it be a love match?
How about some doubles?
I wish I could harvest you at peak season.
You can treat me like a stack of hay, and you can bale with me.
I have the biggest power shaft in town.
Meet me in the corn field and I'll kiss you between the ears.
Baby, would you like to be the other half of my superset?
My heart beats for you like my frappes beat the floor.
I'd like to make a commitment to more than just the gym this year.
Does your stomach need a tissue? Cause you've got sick abs.
I don't have a very long hose, but I've got one hell of of a pumper!
You know girl, the hotter you get, the faster I come!
If I were recycled paper, would you be my organic ink?
I know you're a knockout, so how'd you get me in this submission?
I could make you scream louder than the siren.
Here's my number. Just in case you ever need a grappling partner without a shirt... or pants.
Wanna play some horizontal beach volleyball?
There are 30 billion grains of sand on this beach, but there's only one you.
Are you a boxer? Well you should be, you're one hell of a knock out!
Is your daddy a boxer? No Why? Because you're one hell of a knock out!
Your eyes are worth at least 100 horses.
Baby, I may have ridden that bronco for 8 seconds, but I'll last a helluva longer on you.
You're better than the Summer Olympics, you were worth waiting a whole lifetime for.
I seem to have sand in my bathing suit, wanna help me get it out?
I feel like I'm in the Arctic, because when I'm with you it's like the sun never sets.
I must be hunting treasure cause I'm digging you.
Honey, are you a coffee? 'Cause you wake up my senses.
If everyone is the general rule, to me you are the only exception.
Girl you're like a pizza. I want like 3 more of you and I don't wanna share.
Girl is your face from McDonald's? Cause I'm loving it.
Wanna come over to where I have a reasonable expectation of privacy?
I got the biggest exhaust pipe you'll ever see!
I'm lost, can you tell me which road leads to your heart?
Your car's power and movement turns my wheels.
Hay girl, are you crippling depression? Because I'm going to be in bed curled up with you all day!
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
What's the difference between a boner and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini right now.
Baby, meeting you was better than an NHL lockout ending.
You remind me of my sister. In a romantic way.
I must have a nuerodegenerative disease because I've forgotten your number cutie.
Do I remember you from my dreams, or is that just a false memory?
Open up your hangar my starfighter needs refueling.
Christ has risen today, and so have my pants.
Obi-Wan told me to follow my instincts, and my instincts are all over you.
I'm like a boomerang; I just keep comin' back to ya.
