Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Are you a bottle of Tabasco sauce? Cause I'd like to lose your top.
Hey baby, you want a green card?
Someone told me I'm a rare Mexican Flower.
Baby, you're the light in my corona.
The astronomer quit his job to become a barber. Eclipse hair now.
I think you're the missing piece to complete my circuit.
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work
Do you wanna go some place quiet, so we can talk? I'm a very taco-tive person.
What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common? -- Icy dead people
When the shoe store owner discovered that someone had broken into his store, the police pumped him for information.
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
You are sexy. You are Mexican. You are a Sexican.
How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
Baby you skin clean like dunce pikni book!
Gal Mi wan pose wid yuh likah domino
Baby you full a curves like the pad aisle!
Baby yuh sell inna Pings? Yuh luk like two yaad a wife material
A clumsy physician who pretends to care is a hypocritical oaf.
Miss Sweetnees…ef mi was babylon (police) mi would haffi charge with the crime of niceness cyan done
Are you a running back? Because I want to run into your arms.
The thing about vampires is they always have such biting humour.
Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cause you're hot and I'm ready.
Bird-dogs are great for music, because they're both woofers and tweeters.
Zookeepers spot clean their leopards.
Will you be the duck sauce to my egg roll?
I might study something at a university that someone once told me about - there is a degree of ambiguity there.
Is there a non-creepy way to hit on your waiter? If so, please text it to me.
A monster who likes to ring doorbells is a knock less monster.
Those are some pretty nice Rocky Mountains you've got there.
Yeah, you're gonna love Big Ben. Oh wait, you mean the clock.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.
Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
Hey babe - are you the ex leader of the Australian Democrats because I'd love to Despoja.
Can I didgeridoo you?
How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
Are you from China? Because I'm China ask you out on a date.
I was going to buy some loose tea, but the price was too steep.
Seeing you makes my face turn red with passion. No, I haven't been drinking!
How do pinnipeds communicate? With seal phones.
The race car driver had a checkered past.
You and my cardiac stent have something in common, my heart needs you.
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
One game of penochle and your desitin ass is mine.
I wanna put your pork on my fork.
You can tell a lot about a man by the size of his yield.
Is that corn in your silo, or did you have to plant barley this year too?
Wow, you're gorgeous! Your head would look great in my freezer!
Your teeth are so white! They're gonna make a great necklace.
I get fresh eggs daily.
Baby, we'll never have to run to the store for milk.
What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh? Santa caught in a revolving door
When I see you my main sail rise.
You would be perfect for this movie I'm shooting its called Dirty Sanchez
Why do i need a girlfriend when i can have a boyfriend, keito-kun?
There's nothing I won't do for you, and I'm going to keep on doing it.
Those aren't sugar plums dancing through my head, it's all you.
Are you a medical license? Because you're proof that perfection exists.
Are you a hospital bed? Because I'd rest easy with you by my side.
Girl. Let me be your imam.
You must love Halloween! You don't need a costume to look like an angel.
Hey there, you like Glazed or creme filled?
I'm masc, hung, clean, and generous.
My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z.
I like your wart, want to see a few of mine?
Is your name Sunshine? Because you are “In my soul todayâ€.
You have the cutest smile when you sleep.
If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.
Don't mind me observing you, I'm just doing some case study.
What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move? Santa Pause
That outfit would look great crumpled in a heap on unsolved mysteries.
What do zombies put on their Christmas turkey? Grave-y
What do reindeer have that no other animals have? Baby reindeer!
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?
Why does Santa do in his garden? He hoe hoe hoes
You must be accounts receivable, because I've been waiting for you my whole life.
Are you a trap seal? Because you've locked in all my feelings.
That shirt looks great on you, but it would look even better in an evidence bag.
If I told you I was falling hard, would you be my belayer?
Girl you put me in an altered state of consciousness.
Hey girl, wanna belay me?
Girl I've got some allostatic load for you right here.
I usually use protection, but I'll make an exception.
Unlike everyone else in Les Miserables, my love for you will never die.
Are you that line I screwed up? Because I can't stop thinking about you.
Is that a stalagmite feature or are you just happy to see me?
When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?
What did the cow say to the reindeer? Moo
Are you a thief? Because you've stolen my heart. Now get in the trunk.
Baby, you must be a broom because I'm going to snap your head off and clean the floor with it.
You don't need car keys to drive me crazy. But I need them to run you over.
What is Santa's favorite Olympic event? North Pole-vault
What song did the guests sing at the Eskimo's Christmas party? Freeze a jolly fellow
This sunburn is hot, but baby... you're hotter.
Get rid of your smoke detector and sleep with a firefighter.
Do you go to church? Because you're the answer to my prayers!
Hey are you a solar system cause I wanna be in Uranus.
What song do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells.
What is the wettest animal at the North Pole? The rain-deer
