Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Gal Mi wan pose wid yuh likah domino
Baby you full a curves like the pad aisle!
Are you a running back? Because I want to run into your arms.
Baby yuh sell inna Pings? Yuh luk like two yaad a wife material
What's your gear ratio?
I must say you're more beautiful than the beautiful game.
Miss Sweetnees…ef mi was babylon (police) mi would haffi charge with the crime of niceness cyan done
Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cause you're hot and I'm ready.
A clumsy physician who pretends to care is a hypocritical oaf.
Are you Andrea Pirlo? Because you're a work of art.
Know anyone called Omer? Cause you have a Toprak
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
According to the Similarity Attraction Effect, I must be attractive because you're beautiful.
Hi. I play harmonica in Arcade Fire. Wanna bang?
Will you be the duck sauce to my egg roll?
Why do i need a girlfriend when i can have a boyfriend, keito-kun?
Those aren't sugar plums dancing through my head, it's all you.
The best way to taste this wine is from my lips.
You would be perfect for this movie I'm shooting its called Dirty Sanchez
Hey are you a solar system cause I wanna be in Uranus.
Is your name Heskey? Because I would love to take you out for Emile.
The thing about vampires is they always have such biting humour.
There's nothing I won't do for you, and I'm going to keep on doing it.
I studied in France and worked harvest in Italy, I've learned some of the secrets to making great wine and I'd love to share them with you.
Is there a non-creepy way to hit on your waiter? If so, please text it to me.
Bird-dogs are great for music, because they're both woofers and tweeters.
I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
Zookeepers spot clean their leopards.
I like the way your self-bleached hair sits on your camouflage jacket.
Girl. Let me be your imam.
No matter how many 3-pointers I've made, it means nothing if I can't hoop your heart.
You're so hot! I'd like to date you before you're cool!
I might study something at a university that someone once told me about - there is a degree of ambiguity there.
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?
Is your name Sunshine? Because you are “In my soul todayâ€.
You and me, one-on-one, in my bed.
Hey babe, you've been doing Tawaf in my mind all day.
A monster who likes to ring doorbells is a knock less monster.
I'd tell you how beautiful you are, but you probably wouldn't get the reference.
All I want for Channukah, is you.
Those are some pretty nice Rocky Mountains you've got there.
Are you a hospital bed? Because I'd rest easy with you by my side.
I'm dead inside, but you make something in my pants alive.
Are you a medical license? Because you're proof that perfection exists.
Yeah, you're gonna love Big Ben. Oh wait, you mean the clock.
I have familiarized myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, I invented 4 of them.
Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
The only thing brighter than your spikes is your smile.
You've got more curves than a cross country track.
Hey babe - are you the ex leader of the Australian Democrats because I'd love to Despoja.
Can I didgeridoo you?
I never knew hellish demons flew so close to the ground.
I can think of an activity that'll make you sweat even more than a 90 minute hot yoga class.
I want to rosin your bow.
Id love to invest in a riding lawnmower, to eat my grass.
I was going to buy some loose tea, but the price was too steep.
Are you from China? Because I'm China ask you out on a date.
Seeing you makes my face turn red with passion. No, I haven't been drinking!
My lipstick would look great on the inside of your thighs.
How do pinnipeds communicate? With seal phones.
Let's strengthen our hips together!
Can I see your garbage mashers on the detention level?
Do you understand the binary language of moisture vaporators? Because I'd like to program your binary loadlifter.
How can you be from an ice planet when you're so Hoth?
Do you like water? Then you would like 70% of me.
May I dig my nails into your back?
If you were a perfect set, I'd hit you.
Will you let your feet become the Jannah for my children?
How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said -- Thanks,
I said -- Don't mention it
Volleyball, it means big booty and thunder thighs get used to it.
I have a good feeling about you.
Are you a backstroke start? Because baby you got me bending over backwards for you.
What's your favorite Baudelaire poem?
How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
The race car driver had a checkered past.
You and my cardiac stent have something in common, my heart needs you.
What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common? -- Icy dead people
I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
My pull buoy's not the only thing that goes between these thighs.
I'm here to collect the bounty on dat ass.
Why don't we head to my bedroom, peel back my Star Wars sheets, and discover what a true Jedi can do with his light-saber?
Let's get hoth and heavy.
Tonight this Hsn doesn't want to fly solo.
Want to join me on the threshing floor?
Are you a Titans fan? Because you are the only Ten I see.
I'm Wesley crushing on you
One game of penochle and your desitin ass is mine.
Scoring with you would be like making a 84 yard touchdown off a pass interception.
I want to pick you up from free agency.
Life without you is like a lift without weights.
I only thought about you once today. I just never stopped.
Would you like to be the Zelie to my Louis and reach sainthood together?
I have a six pack and an empty buddy seat.
Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath
Do you want to shake my luluv?
Are you a thief? Because you've stolen my heart. Now get in the trunk.
