Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
Your name must be Milk or Honey... ‘cuz you feel like something I was promised.
I hope you dont have tetnus cause tonight your gonna nail me
You'll be receiving a package soon.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
You wanna ride to starbucks? Cause I like a little cream in my coffee.
We're having a penis-measuring contest over there. Do you have a yardstick that we could borrow?
Where did the one-legged waitress work? IHOP!
There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation.
I know you've already said no once, but call me Joshua because I'm going to break down your walls.
You must be a Bible verse, because I can't stop memorizing you.
Honey, are you a coffee? 'Cause you wake up my senses.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
My heart beats for you like my frappes beat the floor.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Is your daddy a boxer? No Why? Because you're one hell of a knock out!
Girl you're like a pizza. I want like 3 more of you and I don't wanna share.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Your feet made me lower my gaze.
Are you a boxer? Well you should be, you're one hell of a knock out!
Here's my number. Just in case you ever need a grappling partner without a shirt... or pants.
Dad I'm hungry ... Hi hungry I'm dad
I know you're a knockout, so how'd you get me in this submission?
You're getting a long one tonight, and I'm not talking about the Home Run Derby!
Are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you're making me drool.
They say to bat me 2nd because I'm a good 2-hole hitter.
I wanna Lando in your Calrissian.
Unlike Han, I won't shoot first.
What's ET short for? Because he's only got little legs.
Are you Casillas? Because you look like a keeper.
If I were recycled paper, would you be my organic ink?
Obi-Wan told me to follow my instincts, and my instincts are all over you.
Open up your hangar my starfighter needs refueling.
I like breakfast in bed, so why don't you just come sit on my face?
Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score.
You're Hotter Than the 2022 World Cup in Qatar
The sheer sight of you is enough to make innocent bystanders lose their appetite and question the cruelty of the universe.
Moaning about other people not working really makes the day fly by.
Your face is so hideous, it could make a blind person weep in agony.
Your face looks like it was designed by Picasso during a drunken stupor.
Your appearance is so repulsive, it could curdle milk from a hundred yards away.
Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes. [If this doesn't work, hit her in the head with a brick]
Your face could make a haunted house seem like a pleasant vacation spot.
Are you mic tape? Cause I want you leaving scars all over my body.
I've seen roadkill that's more visually appealing than your sorry excuse for a face.
Your ugliness is so profound, it could make a blind person cry tears of despair.
What's the most common sleeping position of a man? Around.
Do you have a mirror in your intestines? Because I can see my hands in them.
