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Short & Funny Jokes

Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.


Top Funny Short Jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, lava is hot and so are you.
Your eyes are as blue as the sea I dumped my ex’s body in.
Q. What's a man's idea of a balanced diet? A. Beer in each hand!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? -- Because he felt crummy!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack!
Roses are red violets are blue I didn’t know what perfect was until I met you
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies.
How long have I been working for the company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
If I was an octopus, all my 3 hearts would beat for you.
Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet? Supplies!
Roses are red,violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you.

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