Short & Funny Jokes

Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.

Top Funny Short Jokes

I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
Where do you get virgin wool? -- Ugly sheep.
What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Why are horses always so fit? Because they're on a stable diet.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? -- A fsh
The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause obviously you landed on your face
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Did you hear what happened to the blonde hockey team? They drowned in spring training.
It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
Why are pirates so mean? They just arrrr!
We never knew he was a drunk until he showed up to work sober.
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? The outside.
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off the cliff!
Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words.

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