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Short & Funny Jokes

Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.


Top Funny Short Jokes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?
Crime doesn't pay? Does that mean my job is a crime?
You know what’s beautiful? Read the first word.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don't like to interrupt her.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.
Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.
In arguments a woman has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to go to the corner.
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? -- Anyone can roast beef.
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? -- Because they taste funny.
I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load.
Why are men like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!
Never iron a four leaf clover. You don't want to press your luck.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

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