Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Are you the sun? Because you're my center of the universe.
In the airport, I am willing to let all my personal feelings fly towards you, baby.
Your appearance is so repulsive, it could curdle milk from a hundred yards away.
My name's Pittsburgh, but you can just call me Mr. Steeler ya girl.
Your face could make a haunted house seem like a pleasant vacation spot.
How about some doubles?
If I court you, will it be a love match?
I'm going to ask you out. Resistance is futile
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
I want you as bad as I want to win Wimbledon!
Obi-Wan told me to follow my instincts, and my instincts are all over you.
Open up your hangar my starfighter needs refueling.
Are you auditions? Because you make me sweat.
I'm like a boomerang; I just keep comin' back to ya.
Is your name chocolate, bc you make my seratonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure.
I've seen roadkill that's more visually appealing than your sorry excuse for a face.
You're getting a long one tonight, and I'm not talking about the Home Run Derby!
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
Your ugliness is so profound, it could make a blind person cry tears of despair.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.
Are you mic tape? Cause I want you leaving scars all over my body.
Your name must be Milk or Honey... ‘cuz you feel like something I was promised.
Do you go to church? Because you're the answer to my prayers!
All births are an Emergency.
No matter how many 3-pointers I've made, it means nothing if I can't hoop your heart.
My caddy says I should use a hard 7. You okay with that?
Excuse me, Miss, are you looking for the fairway? Because you coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go.
Are you a running back? Because I want to run into your arms.
Are you Andrea Pirlo? Because you're a work of art.
You and me, one-on-one, in my bed.
My pull buoy's not the only thing that goes between these thighs.
Know anyone called Omer? Cause you have a Toprak
Are you a water hazard? Because you got me soaking wet.
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
Hey are you a solar system cause I wanna be in Uranus.
