Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I'm on my fourth hour so let's get this done so you can get me to the emergency room.
Your sexy figure sure would make an awesome sculpture.
Aren't you the model from my figure drawing class?
I think you dropped your teeth.
I think you should come over tonight so we can practice that stage kiss...
Are you my lines? because i'll never forget you.
You're like my college audition monologue: memorable, rare, and utterly perfect for me.
To be, or not to be in bed with me? That is the question.
I'll climb you like Valjean climbed the barricade.
You're so fine, you put the font size in playbills to shame.
Hey babe, How 'bout we snort some Maalox together?
You must be opening night, because my heart races when I'm close to you.
Are you Hamilton tickets? Because I'd do literally anything to make you mine.
Are you the cast list? Because I can't stop looking at you.
Are you method acting because you're really in my head.
You ever been with a man that has Parkinson's? You won't need to do a thing. Just hold on tight and I'll do the rest.
Want to come over for some Malt Liquor and Kool-Aid?
You're going to look so good bound and gagged in our meat locker.
I love long walks on the beach, gives me just enough time to dump your body.
The greatest thing about my job is, the women never taste the arsenic.
Yo name must be Maxwell House cause baby yo ass is good til the last drop.
Wanna come back to my place and see what the inside of my trunk looks like?
You not only have a pretty face, I bet you're beautiful on the inside too!
Is that a cell phone in yo pocket? Cuz dat ass is callin' me!
Girl you be the 6, I'll be the 9, that's only time you'll be less than a dime.
Are you a single rider, because I'm a single rider too?
I think my medication is wearing off.
If home is where the heart is, then my home is in you. And by home I mean knife.
I want to ride you like a roller coaster. Just try not to puke.
Is there a gaping wound in your side or are you just happy to see me?
There's a tornado, come in to my basement.
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
I'd suck a fart out of your ass.
Hey baby, I've got a back seat with your name on it.
Do you wipe front to back or back to front?
I smell that you are in season... want to breed?
Hey baby, do you want to have an abortion a month from now?
I find your lack of nudity disturbing
Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
You are the greatest perception of my heart's delusion!
Is that a dreidel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Excuse me, this Yom Kippur I have no sins for which to atone. Can you help?
Once you go Jew, nothing else will do
Have I seen you on j-date?
Hey babe how many dates will it take to get your dad to let you go on a date with me?
Shall you be my imam because being your makmum is what I desire to be.
Do you wanna date? I bought a box full when I went to Madinah.
To watch you pray is a sin of its own.
You're so beautiful, You would make hur-al-ayn jealous.
I must have died a shaheed and gone to heaven because you are my 72 virgins all in one.
That's a nice burka. Can I talk you out of it?
Can I have ur number so I can wake you up for fajr?
I didn't trip over my robe, I fell for you.
I like my women like I like my dreidels... bottom heavy.
Hey babe can I become your mehram for the hajj?
You remind me of the Ka'aba - I could walk around you all day long.
I'd compare you to my mother, but I don't want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.
There may be plenty of gefilte fish in the kitchen, but you're the only one my bubbe approves of.
Is your medulla inflamed? Because you made my heart skip a beat!
Hey baby, will you let me socially penetrate your triangular theory of love?
Let me show you a relaxation technique not used for systematic desensitization.
Has the mere-exposure effect kicked in yet, or do I need to spam more of your instagram pictures?
You activate my nucelus accumbens like no other.
Can you help me meet my dissemination targets? I'll let you be in a condition of power.
I'll let you be in a condition of power.
Your ego may be saying 'no', but your id is giving me a tongue bath.
Get on your knees, open your mouth, and hail Xenu!
Perhaps you can help me with my PTP by snapping terminals with me and being my twin on some TNA processing.
Hey gurl, you lookin' a little stressed out. Why don't you let me check yo' thetan levels back at MY place?
Let's go somewhere and postulate you out of that dress.
If I asked you out, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?
Baby you're so fine my brain is changing structure just to process it.
Do come lay on my couch... With me.
If you're an axon , I would be your myelin sheath.
I think I recognize your name. From my Patriarchal Blessing.
My unconscious mind is urging me to talk to you.
Are you depressed yet? Cause you've been stuck in my head all day.
Know what would look good on you? CRUTCHES!
Do you like heavy metal? Because I can teach you how to scream.
I'd love to say a prayer before a meal with you sometime. How's Saturday at 7?
Do you believe in helping the homeless? Take me home with you.
I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes? Please?!
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Is stealing my heart breaking the 8th Commandment?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I saw you with him, I'm happy for you.
Are you looking for buried treasure? Explore my chest... With a knife.
I want you to sit on my face. Seriously, if there's a chance I might lose oxygen flow and die... I'll take it.
Hey baby, can you get your pants lower than my self-esteem?
I'd love to go to Uranus! Because it has a toxic atmosphere and would instantly kill me.
Are you a psychologist? Cause you cure my depression.
You seem depressed. Let's bang the depression out of each other!
Are you a monstrance? Cause I'm adoring the Christ in you.
I want a minimum of 6 children and they will all be named after saints.
Can I swipe right on a photograph of your reliquary?
I know you think im sexy, I know you think im fine, but just like all the other guys get a number and wait in line
Instead of sealing our lips together, lets get sealed in the temple first!
I'm not feeling myself today, may I feel you?
Who's your daddy? Do I remind you of him?
Are you a gadianton robber? Because you just stole my heart.
