Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Procrastination on your part does not create an emergency on my part.
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it
Smoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, you're killing me!
Excuse me, could you please dial down your hotness, it's causing global warming
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid, is it?
The UPS office called. They told me I need to check your package.
Do you live in a cornfield? Because I'm stalking you.
Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with the software.
Are you a burger cuz you can be the meat between my buns
Can you help me with my GPS? I need directions to find my way into your heart.
You're making a fool of yourself, and I've never seen better craftmanship.
You're hotter than the London Underground during rush hour.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.
The only thing straight about me is my teeth.
If a star fell for every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty.
I can score from multiple positions.
My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
You should carry a plant wherever you go to replace the oxygen you waste.
