Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Because when push comes to shove, I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love.
If I were a cat, I'd spend all 9 lives with you
Seeing you is like getting 11 McNuggets in my 10 piece meal.
Wi-Fi went down during family dinner tonight. One of the kids started talking and I didn't know who he was.
Date a runner because everyone else is a player.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
What does a baby computer call it's father? Data.
I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
I hope you're good at catching cause I'm starting to fall for you.
You like Star Wars? Let's go back to my place and violate the Jedi Code.
Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.
You're such a pathetic excuse for a human being that even bacteria would turn their noses up at the thought of infecting you.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together at an MGMT show.
A tractor? That's what I'm trying to do!
I can't think straight around you.
Are you the end of practice? Because you're always on my mind.
You are like my snorkel, because you're wrapped around my mind.
I may not be your cup of tea, but I'm a great shot of tequila.
Don't save me just yet. Let me go down a few times.
Are you the black line? Because I'm lost without you.
