Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Tell me honey ham, did it hurt when the devil spit you up and you landed here?
Roses are red. Spend the night with me and I'll teach you all kinds of cool scientific stuff like that!
You are prettier than a beer truck pulling up in the driveway.
Hey babe, do you know that my mouth can generate over 3000 rpm?
Are you a waiting room? Because I'd spend hours just being near you.
You look good in that lumberjack shirt but I would like to see you out of it.
Hey baby, wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 10 anyway.
Well, aren't you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?
Wanna find out if my shotgun shell will fit in your double barrel?
God wants us to be together. That's why he gave us the same parents.
My home is where I park it
Girl you must be my cousin because I wanna do you.
You can't handle the tooth!
Hey baby, why do you think they call it a pick-up truck?
Your peroxide blonde hair looks good, but I would like to see if you are a true blonde.
You must be a diagnosis, because you've got me feeling something I've never felt before.
Are you scrubbing in? Because you're about to clean up this mess I call a life.
You must have the best bedside manner, because I can't stop thinking about you.
Do you like tacos? Well cool you like 75% of me.
Are you a referral? Because you're exactly who I've been looking for.
You must be an attending physician, because you've got my full attention.
Are you my attending? Because I want to follow you wherever you go.
I love you more than a flour tortilla with beans!
I must be in a clinical trial, because being around you is an experimental rush.
I think that being a Jamaican is cool, so how about we try the dating pool to see if we're ok?
Would you help an endangered species? Because my woodcock needs help.
You know what they say, wheat fields are made for sowing.
What do you say after this hockey game you come back to my igloo & split a poutine?
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffee, so I could get close to your lips.
Can I slide my iceberg into your alley?
Want to help raise my totem pole?
Wanna go back to my igloo and cuddle?
Are you a syringe? Because you've got me stuck on you.
Damn girl you must be a maple tree because I'd tap that.
So get your tiny butt over here and let's watch hockey and cuddle, eh.
I have a confession to make: I've been looking at you more than I Ottawa.
Are you a maple tree? ‘Cause I'd tap that.
We both love hockey, eh? Can I give you a puck?
Unlike the Leafs, I will never let you down.
Will you be the Flin to my Flon?
It's cold out. Why don't you come back to my bed and we can warm up?
Oh I didn't mean to pull you in so close. I thought I heard a rutting bull moose.
Hey your hands would be a lot warmer if they were down the front of my pants?
Damn girl, are you a moose? Cause you make me go *moose noise*
Yukon check out my Klondike any time.
You must be a bedside commode, because I can't go anywhere without thinking of you.
You're like a BC ferry: Everyone wants to get on you.
My feelings for you are Montreal.
You must be a code blue, because you've got my heart racing.
I can love you more than a cowboy loves a fat calf.
Sorry, but would you mind if I poutine it in your butt?
I'm actually way hotter than poutin.
Hey baby, my body's like Ontario. Yours to discover.
I won't take no for an answer. I'm having Nunavut.
Let's play hockey, because I'd love to have 2 minutes for holding.
Can your beaver eat my log?
I really want to Cape Enrage your Kouchibouguac.
My girl how you chest plate suh clean like it could a eat outta!
Yuh Sweet lak ah angel, so tell me whah deh Gwan up in nah heaven now? Why Gad send yuh ere?
Are you a medication? Because you've got me feeling better already.
You're the best part of my 12-hour shift.
Are you a call light? Because I can't stop reaching for you.
My girl me wah full up yuh belly like cornmeal dumpling.
Girl if you're Jamaican we would click together coz I'm really into your type, come with me.
You must be a triage nurse, because you've prioritized my heart.
Are you a pulse ox monitor? Because you've got me at 100%.
Baby, you're the patty to my coco bread.
Baby gi mi yuh number nuh, Mi lost mine?
You must be a charge nurse, because you've taken control of my heart.
