Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I'm going to straddle your border like Lloydminster.
You know the Mounties? Well how about you Mount Me?
Would you like to come to my quarters tonight for some toast?
Are you a vaccine? Because you've just given me hope.
You must be a medical conference, because you've got me learning new things about love.
You must be the queen. Because I would be more than happy to fly my flag for you.
Are you a pair of scrubs? Because I'd wear you every day.
Wait until you see my thunda from down unda!
There's some cabanossi and cheese back at my house with ya name on it.
You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.
That's right; I'm bigger'n the Sydney Tower.
Are you a transformer? Because you've changed my life completely.
You must be a screwdriver, because you've tightened all the loose ends in my life.
Are you a voltage tester? Because you've got my energy buzzing.
You're like my favorite tool—something I can't work without.
Are you a conduit bender? Because you've shaped my life perfectly.
You must be a pair of pliers, because you've got a strong grip on my feelings.
You're like a perfectly installed cable—smooth, flawless, and essential.
Are you a wire tester? Because you've found the live connection to my heart.
You must be speaker wire, because you amplify my feelings.
Are you a cable clamp? Because you've got my heart locked in place.
You're like perfectly crimped wire—secure and dependable.
Are you a power cord? Because you're the connection I've been looking for.
You must be an extension cord, because I want to stay connected to you forever.
Are you low voltage? Because even your softest touch electrifies me.
You're like high-quality wiring—durable and reliable in every way.
Are you a wire stripper? Because you've uncovered the real me.
You must be stranded wire, because every strand of you is amazing.
Are you a junction box? Because you're where all my feelings come together.
You're like coaxial cable—strong, steady, and essential.
Are you a multimeter? Because you're measuring the depth of my feelings.
You must be a wiring harness, because you've brought everything together.
Are you a cable tie? Because you've secured my heart.
You're like perfectly installed wiring—everything feels connected with you.
Are you a wiring diagram? Because you've mapped out my heart.
You must be copper, because you're a great conductor of my affection.
Are you an angel? Because I wish I was dead and if so, that'd be a great sign.
Are you a wire? Because you've connected me to happiness.
You must be my electric bill, because I'd spend anything to keep you close.
Are you a current tester? Because you make my heart skip a beat.
You're like an LED light—bright, efficient, and always dazzling.
Are you an arc flash? Because you're dangerously stunning.
You must be an ohm, because I can't resist you.
Are you a socket? Because I'm plugged into you.
You must be a light switch, because you've turned me on.
Are you a power source? Because you keep me energized.
You must be an insulator, because you've kept me warm even through the shocks.
Are you a capacitor? Because you've stored all my love in your heart.
You must be a lightning bolt, because you've struck me with love.
Are you a breaker box? Because you've turned my power on.
You're the reason my heart has a steady flow of love.
Are you a volt? Because you make my heart race.
Girl you're so hot that I would still talk to you even after I'm off the anti-depressant pills I stole from my hospital's pharmacy.
You must be a spark plug, because you ignite my passion.
Are you a fuse? Because you light up my world.
You're like a generator—bringing energy into my life.
Are you a current? Because you've swept me off my feet.
Are you depressed? Because I see you in my future.
You must be a kilowatt, because you're too powerful to ignore.
Baby, all of your facial parts are in the right spots.
You're like my favorite plumbing job—one I'll never forget.
Are you a drain cleaner? Because you've cleared up all my doubts.
You're like a maintenance schedule—something I always look forward to.
Are you a work order? Because you're at the top of my list.
You must be my favorite client, because I'd always prioritize you.
Are you a plumber's apprentice? Because you've mastered my heart already.
Are you a backflow preventer? Because you keep all my feelings moving forward.
You must be a sump pump, because you've drained all my fears.
Are you a grease trap? Because you've caught all the mess in my heart.
You're like a perfectly designed plumbing system—flawless in every way.
Are you a septic tank? Because you handle all my crap with grace.
If your feeling down, remember, I'll feel you back up
You must be a utility sink, because you're everything I need.
Is your Dad in prison? If I were your Dad, I'd be in prison.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
I'm kind of new around here... can you show me the way to your apartment/house?
You're so good lookin' I'd drink your bath water.
Hi, you'll do just fine!
My couch pulls out, but I don't
If I touch you, do you promise not to call the cops?
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.
Are you a water main? Because you're the source of everything good in my life.
You must be a water heater, because you've warmed my heart.
Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
It's hard for me to concentrate around you because all the blood from my brain has immediately gone to my penis.
Do you know what this shirt if made of? Woah, I didn't say touch it!
You're like a short circuit—unexpected, powerful, and totally shocking.
Is your name Siri? Because talking to you is making me feel uncomfortable.
Are you the exit? Because I always want to be near you.
Are you my phone? Because I can't stop staring at you in public.
Are you that weird mole I found? Becasue I don't stop thinking about you.
Are you a power line? Because you've got me buzzing.
Are you a termite? Because you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
Just say yes now and I wont have to spike your drink.
You must be a surge protector, because you've saved me from emotional overload.
Are you grounded? Because you keep me stable.
You must be a plumber's license, because you've certified my love.
Are you a water filter? Because you've purified my world.
I want to floss with your pubic hair.
Are you a live wire? Because you've electrified my heart.
