Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
You must be my favorite client, because I'd always prioritize you.
Are you a work order? Because you're at the top of my list.
You're like a maintenance schedule—something I always look forward to.
Are you a drain cleaner? Because you've cleared up all my doubts.
Do you want the lights off or the teeth out?
Wanna try out my new hip?
Are you a plunger? Because you've cleared out all the negativity in my life.
You must be a pipe wrench, because you've tightened all my loose ends.
Let's get a nice drink of prune juice sometime.
Baby, you must be dentures because I need to take you out every night.
Are you a pipe wrench? Because you've got a firm grip on my heart.
You remind me of someone I met during the summer of 1969, those were the best days of my life.
Your Nursing home or mine?
Hey, I just got my new teeth. Want to join me for dinner so I can test them out?
Are you galvanized steel? Because you're strong, dependable, and unbreakable.
Are you a drainage pipe? Because you carry away all my worries.
Are you pipe insulation? Because you keep me warm even on cold nights.
My love for you flows stronger than a high-pressure pipe.
I got a pill I could take back at my place, if you could tell me where my place is.
Are you PEX piping? Because you're durable, flexible, and perfect for me.
You're the kind of pipe I'd never replace.
Are you a pipe snake? Because you've cleared the blockages in my heart.
Do you want to get dinner with me? Must be between 4-4:30.
Why don't you and I share a sunset near the local pharmacy?
You must be crop insurance, because you've got me covered no matter what.
I got a pension and I'm not afraid to use it.
I've got a Victrola back in my room. Wanna hear my Sinatra record?
Ohh baby...you're making my arteries hard.
I wouldn't mind seeing you for the rest of my life.
I want to sweep you off your walker and into your wheelchair.
You must be my waterline, because I can't function without you.
Your company is so delightful, I'm contemplating putting a new battery in my hearing aid.
Don't worry I won't bite... No teeth!
Is your name Viagra, cause I don't think they will be able to close my casket after a night with you.
Are you a pipe cutter? Because you've cut straight into my heart.
Are you a cat lady? Cause I'm the cat whisperer cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.
Break my hip, not my heart.
May I take you to dinner? Next Monday would be best because that's when my social security check arrives.
Your senior assisted living facility or mine?
Can I carry your oxygen tank for you?
I don't need a pipe wrench to tighten the connection between us.
I've fallen for you and I can't get up! No worries though, life alert is on its way!
Do you believe in love at first sight, 'cause, if so, I'll grab my bifocals.
Everyday will be like our first day together cause I won't remember any of this tomorrow.
I would sink my teeth into that booty, but they might just stay there.
What's a nice girl like you doing in... wait, where am I?
As soon as I get my hip replacement, I'm going to hump you.
What's a nice girl like you doing in a nursing home like this?
You're never too old to turn new tricks...
I can't remember what sex is. Care to help me remember?
Have we met before? No, seriously, have we met before?
Do you really need that scooter? Because youve been running in my mind all day long.
You must be a healthcare system, because you've got everything I need.
Do you want to Australian Kiss? It's like the French kiss only down under.
You're like the perfect diagnosis—unexpected and exactly what I needed.
Ooh baby, I'm like a boomerang. You can run, but I'm coming right back to you no matter what.
Can I see the little joey in your pouch?
Do u have Australian in you? Would u like some?
Are you a tongue depressor? Because I'm speechless around you.
You must be an OR, because you're where all the magic happens.
I got a sauso Sanga in me pants and I'm happy to see ya!
Let's boomerbang!
You're like an EpiPen—reviving me when I'm down.
I'm interested in working in your penal colony.
I got a pois'nous snake in me pants, wanna see it?
Are you medical tape? Because you're holding everything together for me.
Are you the ex leader of the Aus Democrats because I'd love to explore your Ridgeway.
Are you from Australia? Cuz I'd like to visit you down under.
You must be a healthcare hero, because you've saved my heart.
I wanna get lost in your Outback.
I'd like to take a safari in your outback.
Wanna play hide the Koala?
Would you like to come home with me and pet my kangaroo?
Are you a patient's smile? Because you've made my whole day better.
You're like a clean bill of health—rare and worth celebrating.
Are you a hospital discharge? Because you've freed me from my loneliness.
Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.
You must be pipe tape, because you're keeping me together.
I've got a handrail in my shower, babe!
Ever done it in a Craftmatic adjustable bed?
Your smile looks nice, but it would look better in a glass on my nightstand.
Are you a T-joint? Because you're the missing piece in my life.
Waiter, you have an aged, dry white? Something to complement the little lady here.
Did you fall from heaven and you can't get up?
Is that a catheter in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I must not have alzheimer's today because I remember how cute you are!
So, what was your name again?
Your name must be Alzheimer, because the Kaiser stole my pudding...
Where have you been pretty much all of my life?
You're like perfect lab results—beautiful and highly sought after.
You must be a PVC pipe, because you're flexible and perfect for my life.
Are you a drainpipe? Because I'm falling straight down for you.
Are those your tits in your socks or are you just happy to see me?
Is that a shattered hip, or are you just happy to see me?
My feelings for you flow as smoothly as water through a new pipe.
The doctor says I need more vitamin U.
Hey, can I get a ride to the pharmacy?
Let's get crazy and leave our teeth in tonight.
I'm dieing to see you. Literally. I don't have much time left.
Are you copper piping? Because you're worth more than gold.
