Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Isn't your e-mail address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?
Why don't we have a LAN party and see if our IP's are compatible?
Forget Google, check out MY doodle!
Can I get a login to your hotspot?
Are you still using Internet Explorer, you must like it slow and dangerous.
Your 127.0.0.1 or mine?
Baby, you must be running a TCP protocol, since every time I talk to you, your body gives me an acknowledgment!
Have you been Googling me? I've got my blog all tricked out with analytics and I think I've been seeing your IP.
I'll be the electricity in your heart.
Hey baby want to see a rigid body distribute many loads.
Girl you are like a high amperage current and I'm a high resistance wire, because you got me hot.
Will you help me practice my heat conduction?
Finally after 20 years of studies i found X in you – The X factor of my life.
The Golden Ratio of your face must be 0.32, because you're so beautiful.
Aay girl are you ultratech cement? Coz you the engineer's choice.
I've got an extensive collection of solution manuals. Can I get your number?
Please allow me to keep term, forever?
When I see you, the frequency of pulse increases.... I think I need regulator -> Your love!
I less than three you. (I <3 you)
You're the Vin to my Vout.
Are you negative? I'm positive, I'm attracted to you.
Are you an electrician? Because you turn me on.
I've got some good news. I like to go low.
I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing.
You're like an ugly dog-leg, but I'd still like to tee off.
How about grabbing two of your friends so we can play a foursome?
Oh you only have a threesome, mind if I join?
Is your body a shot that comes up short on the 17th hole of the Old Course at St. Andrews because I can see it rolling around in the sand?
Are you in the on deck circle? Cuz you're up next.
The game's getting boring, wanna go back to my place and make it a blowout?
If you were a reliever, I'd sign you up to a three year contract with a vesting option.
Girl is your name baseball, cause I just want to hit it.
Would you just take one for the team, and go out with me?
I think I glove you.
They call me the Arizona D'Backs because I always play ball games late into the night
Are you Sonny Gray cos I just wanna stare at your curves all day.
I know I'm out of options, but I'll fight my way in and prove to you that I can make your team into a contender.
Like a platoon player, I'm dying to get some action.
Of all the butts in all the locker rooms, well, yours is way better.
Even though there's no ball game on tonight, I'll still be slamming something out of the park.
All the other guys out there are like broken bats, I'm a good, hard wood.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club? I'd love to join since I'm already a member of the Mr. Met fan club!
Now that the season's over, lets go back to my place and watch the highlights.
They say I'm like John Jaso because I'm all clear to be behind your plate all summer long
After this early morning spring training, wanna come be my afternoon delight?
They call me "The Lead" because the A's bullpen wants to blow me
You make my heart as spongey as the A's infield
You're like baseball: I'd love to play you in front of a crowd.
If you date me, you'll eventually see a diamond.
If you were a baseball could I hit a homerun!
I think I'm falling in glove with you.
I just want something quick to fill a gap, let's hook up on a one-year deal and then look at our option years later.
Play in my extra innings, I guarantee I'm a long reliever
My split finger will have your knees buckling.
Did you just hit me with a pitch? Cuz I'm feeling faint.
If you were a baseball mit, would you catch my fly balls?
So am I gonna be your closer tonight, or are you putting me in middle relief?
I've been warming up this bench for you my whole life.
We must be in the bullpen because you're warming me up.
It must suck not being able to use your hands like how you would use your hands on me
Is your name Vincent? Because I could do with your Kompany.
I'll be kicking myself if I don't get to know you better.
Did you know you look good in short pants?
Want to go upstairs and see my autograph picture of Pele?
Is your name Patrice? Because I want to keep you for Evra.
Hey is your name Vincent? Because I really need your Kompany.
Are you Godin? Because you look like you're about to score.
Hey, girl. I bet I can get you excited without even using my hands.
Are you Ibrahimovic? Because I think I nose you.
Is your name Arjen? Because you're Robben my heart.
Are you Arsenal? Cause you make me anna shoot my gun.
I can sweep you off your feet.
Are you Garreth Bale? Because you make me go bananas.
Hey, did ya know I'm part of a soccer team? (Really?) Yeah, hopefully I score tonight.
Don't Worry, Baby, I Won't Bite (Luis Suarez)
I like to practice some of my penalty kicks with you.
Wanna see my world cup in action?
Are you Messi? Because your touch is priceless.
Baby I'd love too get a jump ball with you, my possession arrow would always point your way!
Should I take it to the hole or take it to the rack?
You can drop your ball into my hoop anytime.
If I were a basketball player I'd be Shaquille O'Feel
You must be known for you defense cause you definitely stole my heart.
Handle me like you handle that ball.
Your Jordan jersey looks nice, but I bet it'd look even nicer on my bedroom floor.
You're coming at me fast, but I'd take a charge for you.
Can I dribble through your legs?
I love the way you handle the ball! Will you come lay up on me?
I'll let you foul play on me.
I've never made an incomplete pass, and I hope you won't be my first.
I'm Zam. How would you like a Zamboni ride?
I said, Would you like a PUCK?
If I can't score, can I at least get an assist?
Life is better when we stick together.
I'd let you score on my 5-hole.
My other stick curves to the right
Gretzky isn't the only great one.
Let me show you that I'm good for more than just a one-timer
If you were a puck I'd never shoot. I'd always miss you.
Look, my teeth spell out 'I love you' in block letters!
