Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
If ugliness was a profession, you'd be the CEO.
Looking at you is like staring into the depths of hell, a grotesque abomination of nature.
1+1 is equal to 4 if we don't use condoms.
I usually Han Solo, but I'd let you turn on my light saber!
Even the most skilled plastic surgeon in the world would throw up their hands in defeat at the sight of your face.
I do not like work even when someone else does it.
Your face is like a train wreck, impossible to look away from despite the horror it invokes.
Hey baby, I have a green card.
Congratulations, you've managed to achieve a level of ugliness that defies all known standards of aesthetics.
Calculus and drinking alcohol do not mix. So, don't drink and derive.
Psst.. Hey babe, I got some nip
Where have you been all my lives?
Is that an M4 or are you just happy to see me?
I just saw George Michael in the men's room. He was asking about you.
Sorry, baby. I thought it was hump day...
Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?
You can't kiss an Irish girl unexpectedly. You can only kiss her sooner than she thought you would.
Pee here often?
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Are you Crisitano? Because you've definitely won my Ballon d'Ors.
