Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Care to come back to my place for a little Dickens?
I hope you don't have a roommate, because tonight, I want to make a lot of The Sound and the Fury with you.
I'll dewy decimal system your shelves any day.
Call me William S. Burroughs, because I want to Naked Lunch with you.
You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!
If you were a library book, I'd never bring you back.
If this were a library you'd be the only book I'd check out.
Can get your reference number?
Hey baby, can I put you on reserve?
Do you have any books on being in love with me?
As a librarian, I can confirm that this line does indeed work.
I can also read something else besides books, your heart.
Are you reading Fahrenheit 451? Because damn, you're smoking.
Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play librarian.
Libraries should allow food in the building, because right now I could just eat you up.
Meet me in the Romance section let's make Romeo & Juliet jealous.
Call me Big Brother, because I've been watching you all night.
You've put a hold...on my heart.
Can you tell me where I can find books on overcoming a deeply passionate love I have for a librarian?
It would be both a Crime and Punishment if you don't let me take you out.
I'll meet you in the fantasy section.
I hope you're a long-term loan, because I never want to give you back.
What do you look for in a man/woman — other than literacy skills?
What do you say we get out of here and find A Room of One's Own?
Are you an overcrowded library branch location? Because you are STACKED.
I think must have found the Romance section...
We could make such a beautiful library together.
Do you have a card in the Dewey decimal system? Because I gotta write down your number.
Now that I work at the library I can literally check you out.
Baby, the only section in my library is classified under Dewey 617 because I only have eyes for you.
Can you help me put this away in the anthropology section.
You can classify me in your fantasy collection.
Are you on interlibrary loan? ‘Cause baby, you are outta this library!
Do you have overdue books? Because you have fine written all over you.
You're body is so banging, what do you say we make a sequel.
Are you a thriller? Because I can't seem to put you down.
You were saying, how big is your library again?
You wouldn't happen to have an extra pencil on you?
You know what else is perfect? The card catalog of your features, girl.
Want to come back to my place to see my huge Phillip K. Dick collection?
You. Me. Bacon.
Do you pee here often?
You can pee on my fire hydrant any time.
You had me at ruff.
How did you get through security without setting the sensors off?
We can cross international boundaries together, you and I, let's do it tonight, babe.
Oh, darling you are so cute that I won't even check on your board pass anymore.
You should not be let to travel alone with that pretty face of yours, baby.
Darling, should we drink some coffee in the morning around Paris?
I don't need no captain, just you, to remind me to do things in the upright pose.
I don't know what gate I'm boarding at, but I hope it's close to yours.
Babe, should we check out your baggage and see if we can take some of them off you?
Hey girl, why are you in the business class when you could surely fly up first class?
I get nervous when I fly; do you mind if I hold your hand?
I'm afraid you can't pass this point, 'cause you da bomb, Baby.
I think you have made me believe there is indeed a love in the first flight.
I hate flights but if I get to check in with you in the airport, I can manage it.
Good thing that's not a wood detector, 'cause you'd keep me here all night.
You like to travel, girl? Well, how about I show you my map in the bedroom tonight?
Your sense of wanderlust is truly strong, I love every second I am with you, girl.
What metal are you wearing down there, the detector just went blinking really fast!
The airport officers need not remind me that I have to be in the upright position with you.
I hate staying up all night, especially in the airport but if it's your arrival, I'll be wide awake.
You wouldn't believe what I had to trade for this seat next to you.
Baby, I can show you how they treat people up in the first class in my bedroom tonight.
You are going up to Washington D. C.? Well honestly your D is the one I ever want to see.
Did you overstay your visa? Because you got 'fine' written all over you.
I can ask you out in whatever language you want, just name it and I'll tell you about it.
Are you saying you are supposed to be in a couch? Honey, we can fly first class from now!
You look like you invented this airplane we are in coz baby you are Wright for me.
Want to play TSA officer and pat me down?
I can last longer than a jet engine.
If I can go to the airport with you, I would pick now so we can check each other's baggage.
My mom says that you should leave extra baggage behind, I agree with her too.
I get jet lags when I am in the airport but if you suck on me, I bet it can get better.
Has anyone unknown to you handled those funbags?
I see you ordered the kosher meal; are you single?
Should we go ahead and start the take off right now, I bet I can take you higher.
I think you should go check in at the airport and then just wait for me right in the room.
I don't care what gate I will board at the airport, as long as I am close enough to you.
I would gladly wait in the airport if you are the one I am waiting for, my darling.
You might as well get your passport all checked up I can check yours if you check mine.
You must have fallen out of some B-17 because you are truly the bomb of all the bombs.
If you are anything, I would love to be your personal item, baby.
Don't worry about me, I am good at packing all the essentials, what about you, boy?
You look like you can be a nice co-pilot with me, together we can live a better life.
Let's cross the international dateline together.
You must be a Customs personnel in the airport because I'd declare all that I have for you.
Airplane food is always so terrible, so I always pack my own food. Want one of these chocolate covered strawberries?
Hey girl, I wanna take my paintbrush and reproduce some Jackson Pollock on that face of yours.
If I told you I like your body of work, would you hold it against me?
your perfection infuriates post modernists
Doesn't it seem like all these paintings look alike?
you're so Monet and you don't even know it
How bout you and me go downstairs and brush up on our strokes?
Are you into monochrome? Because I'd love to use my charcoal to color us black and white.
I love anatomy...especially yours.
If I told you your body looked like the Met's Aphrodite, would you hold it against me?
Are you a Shepard Fairey poster? Because I can't believe you don't already belong to someone else.
I came here wanting to see great art, but I never thought I'd see such a vision of loveliness.
