Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I'd like to hang you up and nail you to the wall.
At first I thought I was looking at a Monet, but you are so much more beautiful up close.
You know, back in the 16th century, this kind of thing was taboo. My how things change...
You must be a piece of art, because I'd like to nail you up against a wall.
I would drag you to a museum, but they said not to touch the masterpieces.
Hey girl. It may take me a few days to carefully document your verso and recto sides.
Have you ever posed nude?
Hey girl, I know you don't accept permanent loans but will you make an exception for my heart?
Call the Art Loss Register, 'cause you just stole my heart.
Let me be your Frank Gehry and I'll be sure to properly balance your curves.
Do fries come with that juxtaposition of light and color
Hey girl is your name Salvador Dali because you is Persistently in my Memory.
Would you mind if I tour the gallery with you?
I would love to draw you. Would you pose for me?
Do you have an audio tour, because I want to hear all about you.
Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art.
Being around you makes me higher than attending Rob Pruitt's ‘Cocaine Buffet.'
You must be an Anish Kapoor sculpture, because I can see myself in you.
You're so fine you could make an impression on Monet.
See that painting? I'd buy it for you if I had a million dollars.
I was not aware that living artists could exhibit themselves here...
Hey girl you shine so bright I need to change my ISO to 100.
Your pretty face sure would make a beautiful painting.
You must be a Richard Serra sculpture because I want to get involved with you, end up stuck in a loop, then get spit out right where I started.
Hey girl call me Rockwell 'cause I'd like to show you my slab-serif.
If I was an artist, you would be my picture!
He can turn my spotlight on.
You make me Les Miserable.
Hey, are you that high note I couldn't hit at callbacks? Cause I can't stop thinking about you.
I'm getting into character by getting into your pants.
Hey girl. You know what my dream role is? A stallion. Cuz then you could ride me eight times a week.
My dream role is to be your girlfriend.
If I blow into the mic will you give me feedback?
Are you the LD today? Because you're all I can focus on.
You give me more butterflies than a places call.
Are you theatre curtains? Cause I like it when you open up.
Are you that line i just brutally messed up? because i can't stop thinking about you.
Gabriel won't be the only thing blowing tonight.
Being apart from you is like feedback in the microphones...it's so painful and ill do anything i can to avoid it.
I want to spend all 525,600 minutes with you.
You can do my eyeliner anytime.
You don't have to get out of my way when I have a crossover.
Hey girl, wanna help me recalibrate my sound board?
Are you a techie carrying a large set piece? 'Cause you just knocked me off my feet.
Are you that scene I messed up? Because I can't stop thinking about you.
I like musicals and I'm straight and I'm willing to sing with you.
Hey girl, are you my light? 'Cause I can't believe it took me this long to find you.
Do you like musicals? 'Cause I'm a boy who's into Broadway.
If you were a script, i'd never want to be off book.
Are you a spotlight cause you're blinding me and making it hard to wall.
Not being with you is like when your bobby pin is pulling on only one hair. It hurts so bad.
I will make you the best single mother ever!
Girl you like Kool-Aid in a wine glass with dat fine ass!
Girl, I wanna pop some caps with you till da hood do us part.
You da only one I'd ever spend my minutes on.
Hey do you have an inhaler? Cause you got dat ass ma!
Let me flip this coin and whatever side it land on that's what I get.
I'm wasted, but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be.
I usually don't ask a girl this question till she's pregnant. What's your name?
I'm gonna call heaven and tell 'em that an angel is missing, but I'm kinda hoping that you're a slut.
Just get in the car, bitch. I'm famous.
My pants might be in the wrong place but my heart is always in the right place.
Ohh I was wondering... Can I have yo' numba?
So tell me, does ur pants thank u for spending time with them when u take them off?
That ass so fat, you could pull a brothas eyes out with the gravity!
Watch your step girl, I do not want you to fall in love with someone else.
Yo gurl, I heard you're good at math, Cause your legs are always divided.
Your lips taste like grape kool-aid.
I have good credit
Hey, are your parents beavers? because DAAAAYYMMMM!
Hey boo, I'd like to be a part of your next abortion.
Girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my To Do List!
If fine was a felony you'd be on death row!
Aye girl lemme beat it like some cake mix!
Baby, you thicker than the bible, and I wanna read all yo pages!
Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw!
Girl, ya look like a bottle of maple syrup... THICK!
Hey girl you got a father? Want a daddy?
Hey baby, are you looking for affordable housing? Cuz I've got an opening on Boner Street!
If what matters is on the inside, how do I get on the inside?
Who's ya hair dresser? Tell her I apologize for messing up her work!
I'm digging you like a shovel ma!
Honey, being with me is like a roller coaster. There's always the possibility you could throw up.
Forget that roller coaster baby come get on this log ride!
You must be a ferris wheel because I wanna take a ride on you.
I have the best roller coaster in town, wanna go for a ride?
Ride with me now and I'll ride you later.
I'm a theme park, ride me all you can before the sun sets.
Would you like to be in the sword-swollowing act?
It doesn't take a ticket to let you ride me.
You wanna ride the big slide?
How about trying the thrill ride in my pants?
I've got an amusement park in my pants.
I wanna make you Splash Mountain all over my Power Tower.
Are you here for Steel Vengeance? Because I'd like to take you on the wildest ride of your life.
Is your name the Beast, because I want to ride you tonight.
Is your name Dolly? Because I have some great wood waiting for you.
Want to go for Mind Eraser? I'd sure like to Hang and Bang with you!
El Toro is great, but wait until you see my big woody!
Hey girl, Big Thunder Mountain might be right over there, but I can assure you that I'm the wildest ride in the wilderness.
