Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I bet my stick would feel great in your crease.
You should see what I can do with ice.
You heard right: I only take off this mask for two things.
Nice skates...wanna puck?
Let's play hockey. I'll be the net, and you can score.
Wanna puck?
Do you play hockey? 'Cause I wouldn't mind poke-checking you.
Lemme get a few slapshots on your bum.
I may be toothless, sweaty, and all black and blue, but I make a mean quiche Loraine.
Hi my name's Stanley, wanna see my cup?
You had my heart racing from the moment I saw you running.
I just met you, and this is crazy but here's my bib number...pace me maybe?
Do you run track? Cause I relay like you!
Since distance=velocity x time, let's let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to run all the way with you.
Do you run track? Cause I relay wanna take you on a date.
You run faster than my nose in allergy season.
Is it allergy season? Because you run faster than my nose.
When you passed me, I felt like running faster but following you from behind was inspirational enough.
Do you run track? Because you are running laps around my heart.
Don't worry about slipping on the ice during this run, I'll be there to catch you.
I'd run three miles just to be with you.
Is that a Clif Bar in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Let me tie your running shoes, because I don't want you falling for anyone else.
Hey baby, your pace or mine?
Your PR isn't the only number I want.
You must be a triathlon, because you take my breath away.
Is your name Charity? Because my heart is racing for you.
I‘m no photographer, but I can picture us running together.
Are we doing high altitude training because you just took my breath away!
Your stride is enviable. Are you a runner?
Hey I love your shoes. You know they would look even better if they were running alongside me.
My name is garmin, will you take me running everyday?
I just want to run on the trail that leads to you.
I'd love to go up and down with you, fancy a hill rep session?
When it comes to love, I am in it for the long run.
I was looking for a running buddy... for the rest of my life.
So is this your first 5k?
Do you like speed work? 'Cause I'm always down for a quickie.
Did you get lost on your run? Because heaven is a long way from here.
I like the way your spikes match your shoes.
Hey baby, you have a great stride.
You must be a runner because you totally have runner's calves.
Wanna find out what the real fourth event of triathlon is?
Are you a dive set? Because you leave my knees weak.
I'm not sure if it's the 200 butterfly or you that just took my breath away.
Hey girl, on a scale of one to Laremy Tunsil, how available are you?
Do you play football? Because you've got a tight end.
Does the sleeve match the shoes?
You're looking like a tennis ball. I just wanna hit it.
You smell nicer than a new can of tennis balls.
I'll restring your racket...if you restring mine.
Baby you can ride the Tennis Express all night.
I like the way you move on the court.
Hey girl, I can SMASH a forehand like no other.
Are you Roger Federer's ground strokes? Cause baby you're so elegant.
I couldn't help but notice that we have the same stride tempo. We should totally stride together.
Do you have any tape? Because I'm totally ripped.
How about the Jacuzzi after our work out?
Can you teach me how to use this machine?
Lift and chill?
Excuse me miss, do you need a chest spot?
Baby you light up the court, the way that you serve that ball got me overwhelmed.
You are in a constant state of becoming. Then again, if I looked like you I'd constantly be coming too.
Maybe you can give me a private lesson sometime?
So I couldn't help but notice our breathing patterns were really in sync today.
What good is inner peace without you?
Are you Sirsasana? Because you turned my world upside down.
Did you get those yoga pants on sale? They're 100% off at my place.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're gonna get a good stretch tonight!
Want to see me plank while lifting both legs?
You tell me your mantra and I'll l tell you mine.
I see we're both doing pigeons!
I bet you're really flexible.
Are you doing Ananda Balasana, or are you just happy to see me, baby?
Let me be your baby cobra.
My Cobra pose isn't the only thing that's rising upward.
I'd let you Chataranga over me any day!
Why don't I help you extend before yoga this evening?
Don't mind me as I full wheel you.
Are you a BJJ specialist? Because I would love to be in your guard!
Our bond is so tight I might just tap.
I wanna be all on top of you like a crucifix.
If I said you had a great body triangle would you hold it against me?
I'm good off my back, but I'll let you keep mount.
I've given my heart away more than Mario Yamasaki, but I'm willing to try again for you.
I'd put you in my guard any day.
Girl, you can mount me any day.
Baby, your name must be Mario Yamasaki because you just stopped my heart prematurely.
Wanna learn the sweet science and do a little ground and pound?
I'm looking to get bobsleigh'd tonight.
I've been carrying this torch for you all night, let's go put it out at my place.
Pool aren't the only thing Olympic-sized around here.
I'm going for the silver, because I'll make sure you come first.
Your smile shines brighter than a Gold Medal!
Girl you are five rings of fine. That's more than opening ceremony got!
Are you an Olympic bobsledder? because u look like you know your way around dangerous curves.
Let's make like the Olympic rings and hook up later.
I'd like to show you my long program, in the no pants ice dance!
Are you a figure skater? Because your figure is out of this world.
My gold medal might be shiny but it looks like a dull penny compared to that sparkle in your eyes.
