Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
I could spend a millennium in your falcon.
What never eats at Christmas dinner? The turkey – it's stuffed
Is your body from McDonald's? Cause I'm lovin' it!
I perform best when I'm wet.
The reward for a job well done is more work.
If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can't speak English!
You can count on star but you can't ever count on how much I miss you.
You bleach your hair? Im the same way! I bleach the bloodstains out of my carpet!
Hey, I don't mean to grab but, I'm a real ladykiller.
My vibrator is out of batteries, can I borrow you instead?
How can you kill an stupid person with a coin? Throw it in front of an oncoming bus.
If I were a painter, I'd put you down in paint. I'd hang you by the Mona Lisa and put that girl to shame.
The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you.
Uhhhh, my lead off's not great, and though I may be off base, I'd like to take you on a date.
The Irish way - Now don't be talking about yourself while you're here. We'll surely be doing that after you leave.
What do you call a big Irish spider? -- A Paddy long legs.
Your so cute its distracting.
I love to make good wine bet I can make you whine good too.
I don't want the responsibility of someone else's happiness.
I need to learn to love myself before I can love you.
