Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Your so cute its distracting.
Where’s your paper bag? [huh] Your paper bag to put over your head.
Would you be so kind as to lend me your heart, or shall I cut it out myself?
You bleach your hair? Im the same way! I bleach the bloodstains out of my carpet!
How about I shift my stick into something else...
My vibrator is out of batteries, can I borrow you instead?
This food's going to taste great! Don't worry, you will too.
If someone throws sharks in the water, I'll save you first.
How about we go to my garage and see what's under the hood.
I could put some motion in your ocean.
You are just the way I like my coffee. Tall, dark and strong.
I like my women like I like my coffee, HOT!
Hey chef, are you a recipe? Because you have all the ingredients to make me melt.
My coffee hasn't kicked in yet, so I can't think of anything charming to say.
You must be a Magnetar because I feel a strong magnetism between us.
The barista may have forgotten your name, but I sure won't.
I can’t believe they don’t serve Everclear in this place!
The way you wear that sarong, it should be called a saright.
If I were a painter, I'd put you down in paint. I'd hang you by the Mona Lisa and put that girl to shame.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? I just want to make sure my eyeliner is on thick enough.
![Where’s your paper bag? [huh] Your paper bag to put over your head.](/images/lines/wheres_your_paper_bag_huh_your_paper.jpg)
