Keep the jokes short and funny. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. One Liners is the answer. Who has time for long jokes anyway? Life's too short, take in as many as you can. Why waste your memory on long boring jokes? Our jokes are nice and easy to memorize to cheer up your friends or use it as a pick up line at the bar to break the ice. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix.
Top Funny Short Jokes
Are you a flip turn? Because I'm head over heels for you.
I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs
Leia's buns ain't got nothing on yours baby.
You're like the perfect drink—strong, balanced, and impossible to resist.
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait until you see my wookie!
Klingon: may'luchwIjmo' Qobbe' tajmey 'ach tIqwIj luDuQ mInDu'lIj! (My armor shields me from knives, but your eyes pierce my heart!)
Let's put the 'fun' in funeral!
Are you a lap counter? Because without you, I'm lost.
Would you like to come out to the farm and help me with the bees?
I hope you're into cyborg-human relations, because I'm feeling like a machine right now.
Your pants are the final frontier
A trumpet isn't the only thing I can make scream high notes.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says -- ' think we got this joke wrong'
Are you a medium? Because I'd like to paint you on carpet.
Will you be my doubles partner for life?
The shade of black you are wearing really brings out your beauty.
Klingon: pu'jIn vIpoQ. mInDu'lIj vIbejtaHvIS DaqwIj vIlIj! (I need a map. I got lost while I was watching your eyes!)
I'm on my fourth hour so let's get this done so you can get me to the emergency room.
Are you method acting because you're really in my head.
Are you the cast list? Because I can't stop looking at you.
There should be government regulations against all your goodness.
Are you a two-octave chromatic scale? Because you leave me breathless.
I don't normally sow wild oats, but for you I'd make an exception.
Your sexy figure sure would make an awesome sculpture.
Comedians, the biggest joke going.
Are you a secret menu item? Because I'd order you every time.
Do you wanna date? I bought a box full when I went to Madinah.
Anomalous heat reading off the starboard bow, setting an intercept course!
Shall you be my imam because being your makmum is what I desire to be.
I know you've heard about my bad motivator but I give a mean back rub!
Aren't you the model from my figure drawing class?
Klingon: Daqtagh HInob! tIqwIj qa'angnIS! (Hand me a d'k tahg! I must show you my heart!)
Hey, it's about time you docked that shuttle!
A tidy desk is the sign of a sick mind.
Are you a 4th or 5th? Because you're perfect.
Hey babe how many dates will it take to get your dad to let you go on a date with me?
My personal trainer told me I had to come talk to you for five minutes as part of my routine.
Can I be your midnight kiss? Because I don't want to start the year without you.
Prosecution of the faulty limpet mine manufacturer began but the charges just wouldn't stick.
Once you go Jew, nothing else will do
You make my pants go to Red Alert.
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
I've never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!" Swine flu?
I used to think apples and honey were sweet... until I met you.
You're like electricity—powerful, essential, and impossible to live without.
Can I nail you? (and I don't mean to a crucifix!)
I hope you're not married, because I'd hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
You see this shirt? It's made of Abba material.
Do you want to go to bed bath and beyond and smell unscented candles and tell each other what we think we smell?
Ever do it on an embalming table?
Do you wanna spin my dreidel?
Want to go dumpster diving in my alley?
Hey babe, I know you'll love my pick up lines 'cause you've never heard them before.
That ironic t-shirt you're wearing would look better on my floor.
Girl, I got an extra pair of TOMS that might fit you. Want to come over & try them on?
Wanna come back to my place and do something you'll repress later?
Even when I can't see you face-to-face, you are always in my visuospatial sketchpad.
Yeah, I was kind of a big deal at last year's Expozine.
Did you know that PBR actually stands for ‘Pretty Big Rod'?
Is that a pair of vintage Ray Bans in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
You are my belongingness to my Maslow's Humanistic Theory based on the Hierarchy of needs.
Baby I see our relationship being like a good denim jacket: timeless.
Are you my corpus callosum? Because I feel a connection between the two of us.
I feel like we met at Whole Foods, because you make me feel complete.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together at an Pixies show.
Wanna meet my Cobrasnake?
Unlike the torah, I'm gonna put my hands all over you.
Would you like to be my lock screen?
Girl, I know you're studying psychology, but I would love to study you.
Shhh, don't worry, you'll repress that this ever happened.
Hey girl you're as hot as my Venti double shot dark mocha macchiato with no foam.
Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh, you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter.
I'm in my backyard...in my Eno... It's a double-nester.
I love you more than Dustin Kensrue of Thrice loves to write songs referencing fire...
Girl, is your name May? Cause, May i be your Imam?
Maybe it's just the PBR talking, but I could see myself in a non-monogamous relationship with you, or whatever.
In bed, I'm just like my fixed-gear bike: Extremely hard to stop.
You've got bike courier eyes.
It's a good day for the eno. Let's hang later.
You're sweeter than the agave syrup in my organic fair trade mint tea.
Do you Chemex? Want to see my drip?
Hey girl, I have a unreturned library book that I want to read to you tonight.
Hey, haven't we had sex in the bathroom at Green Room before?
I like my coffee like I like my women: ethical, fair trade, and organic.
I was in love with you before your ex was!
Hey girl, let's go get lost at IKEA.
Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part...
Hey there, sweet-fang!
Worship me!
My nose isn't the only thing that's big.....
How about you and I make the dead sea come alive.
When's the last time you had a good macaroon?
Wow. That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer.
Wanna go somewhere a little darker?
Lemme add my app to your dashboard. If you know what I mean.
Are you a vampire? Because I've got something I'ld like you to suck.
So, are you a satanist?
Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm….weird chick.
